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Christmas gifts

Bradymom's picture

Submitted by Bradymom on Thu, 11/07/2013 - 12:27pm

Keeping this short & to the point...

My step kids are ungrateful & rude especially when it comes to receiving gifts. (Shared observation by husband & other family) My children are over the top thankful & down right fun to give to. (Again shared observation by all)

Is it wrong to give a together gift for all the children (trampoline) & only individual gifts to my kids? Of course it wouldn't be done in front of the step kids.

Comments

Bradymom's picture

Submitted by Bradymom on Thu, 11/07/2013 - 1:22pm

I have suggested giving the step kids an individual gift to open at their bio moms house, explaining we want them to have it, but bc of the way the receive gifts we don't want to experience that.

Bradymom's picture

Submitted by Bradymom on Thu, 11/07/2013 - 1:47pm

Thank you. I need to realize if we want the behavior to stop, we have to send a clear message that not only is it not acceptable, but it won't be tolerated... It is a tough lesson. Parenting is not for wimps. And it's horrid that they are being reject by their extended family bc of the continued misbehavior.

Bradymom's picture

Submitted by Bradymom on Thu, 11/07/2013 - 12:49pm

We have the kids at different times, with sometimes overlap. Yes husband would know, we have talked about it & I wouldn't keep anything from him not give gifts without him there to be a part if it. Concerning trampoline- yes they all want it (ages 7-14) except the one who is graduating this year-- he's getting a different gift bc he's going into military after graduating.

Starla's picture

Submitted by Starla on Thu, 11/07/2013 - 12:42pm

I agree with StepAside. However if you end up getting a trampoline, don't put it close to the house. Kids love to get on the roof and jump onto the trampoline when parents are gone. I did it myself just a few years ago in my own backyard as I was trying to do a flip after jumping onto the trampoline and it sent me flying several feet. They can be extremely dangerous and you may want to consider looking into insurance coverage before you buy one.

A big gift to all is a great idea though IMO. Wink

Bradymom's picture

Submitted by Bradymom on Thu, 11/07/2013 - 12:52pm

I agree. In our situation, Our kids are never left alone. Too much contention with both exes to do that. Bleh. (& both sets of kids have tramps at other homes)

AngelOfMisery's picture

Submitted by AngelOfMisery on Thu, 11/07/2013 - 12:45pm

To me nothing wrong with a together gift. I am considering this for this year for the two SD's.

AngelOfMisery's picture

Submitted by AngelOfMisery on Thu, 11/07/2013 - 1:06pm

Considering they are both teenage girls. I am thinking of a kettle pop corn machine that has the 4 sided windows, looks just like the movie pop corn maker except smaller version. ( we have one and they like it a lot ) they can take it home with them

and a babycakes cake pop maker the little machine that makes those cake lollipop looking deals ( cake pops? round cake on a stick things) One likes to cook up things like that, they can take it home use the pop corn machine for their movie night, make little cake pops for just about any occasions

AngelOfMisery's picture

Submitted by AngelOfMisery on Thu, 11/07/2013 - 1:09pm

okay that was two gift but they both are going to have to use it. I just through the babycakes in here lately because I purchase the bakecakes at a killer price 50% off at Kohls yesterday. I think that was the last of their 50% off sell.

Bradymom's picture

Submitted by Bradymom on Thu, 11/07/2013 - 12:53pm

That's great. We keep Christmas simple. & do more for birthdays. With 6... It's a lot.

momagainfor4's picture

Submitted by momagainfor4 on Thu, 11/07/2013 - 12:54pm

I agree, my ex and I purchased together gifts for our kids many times. And trampolines can be dangerous but we had one for 8 years and no one was every hurt other than a few scrapes here and there. Depends on the age of the children.

I think that giving the kids some small individual gifts would be okay as well. I'm just worried that your kids will see you only giving gifts to them and not the steps. Then what will they think?

Charity does begin in the home. maybe just something cheap and small. I give a card with a itunes gift card in it. So maybe something like that?

I've also seen sd14 throw her gift back in my SO's face. It's disgusting. She rushes through her gifts ripping them all open and then she's like oh, ok that's it?

My adult kids are much more appreciative!!

Bradymom's picture

Submitted by Bradymom on Thu, 11/07/2013 - 1:05pm

The satiation with the step kids rudeness is so terrible that my husbands family have requested we exchange gifts when we only have my kids. Sad We remind & prompt them to say thank you, it's returned with an argument or a snide "thanks" & even rolling eyes. It's awful. When it's my kids birthday they make rude comments & scream out their own name during the birthday song. It's definitely behavior coached by their bio mom.

HungryEyes's picture

Submitted by HungryEyes on Thu, 11/07/2013 - 12:56pm

Our kids are young 9, 6, 6, 6, and 4) and they love the trampoline. It's the best thing at our house. It's the only thing they do that involve them all having fun and laughing and not arguing or complaining. We've never had an accident (knock on wood!)

Bradymom's picture

Submitted by Bradymom on Thu, 11/07/2013 - 1:09pm

The step kids are always making comments about what's "fair". If we buy one something for a sport the other thinks they are entitled to spend $ of the equal value. I'm sure that's from the bio mom & we don't fall into that manipulation.

AngelOfMisery's picture

Submitted by AngelOfMisery on Thu, 11/07/2013 - 1:53pm

Pretty sure that crap is coming from the BM and it irritates the dog sh*t out of me when stupid subjects like that is brought up.

Like I am the one in competition with the kids as far as $$

I went and purchase me a motorcycle with my money and some how just because I am married to him. The two SD's feel they are entitled to something of equal value! I mean WTF!!! :?

I can't imagine what kind of SH*t would hit the fence if my husband and I could have produced a child. I am pretty sure it would have tarnish that golden uterus

Bradymom's picture

Submitted by Bradymom on Thu, 11/07/2013 - 1:11pm

I do think it should be addressed why they receive less. But my husband, while he thinks they should receive less, thinking it's to be done privately & not addressed with them. I'm sure bc of the ex, she'll use & exploit this, as they are never held accountable for anything!

askYOURdad's picture

Submitted by askYOURdad on Thu, 11/07/2013 - 1:16pm

Sometimes in step life your "damned if you do, damned if you don't"... I would say let your husband decide and be supportive of that. If they are ungrateful and unappreciative it probably won't matter what you do and it will be impossible to keep things "fair." Let your husband decide and stick to what you said in your OP about not giving the individual gifts in front of skids.

purpledaisies's picture

Submitted by purpledaisies on Thu, 11/07/2013 - 2:40pm

I didn't read all the replies but thud is what I did and why.

Every year while skids were at their mins getting gifts from their mom my kids were doing the same getting gifts from their mom! There is nothing wrong with that at all and I never gave my dh an option. I have a very strong personality.

Sorry but you need to make sure your kids are taken care if as it sounds like you are the only one thinking of them.