I don't think you are, then again my ex burned me big and I'll never really trust anyone again. Ever. His response is what I'm more concerned about, see my exh reacted like it was all me being crazy and "imagining things that weren't there." (they were only waaaay worse) and it was always somehow MY fault he'd take no real blame he'd gaslight and twist things then scream at me about how insecure I am I must be the one cheating (say what!)
Then we divorced he just wouldn't stay faithful felt I should sweep it under the rug forgive forget and pretend I was never ripped to shreds by betrayal.
SO and I got together I wasn't looking for long term, he was still married though they hadn't been together for over 2 years (long story their divorced now)But SO kept having texting and IM'ing convo's with these two girls (literally one is NOT 18 yet)he was never flirty with them really called the hon, which he calls every woman from 15-100 that, but they were. They would cross the line and I told him it was not acceptable that he has to have boundaries or I'm out. He stopped texting the one that at the time was a real issue and just im'd her instead yeah idiot I can't see you sitting next to me while she cries on about her life and how much she misses you and how her hubby sucks and you tell her aww I so sowwie hon bleh bleh bleh. I told him I was done pack his shit right there on the couch his kids were there and everything. He was shocked I said look there's a line your hiding shit from me, how would you feel if that was me having that conversation with an EX (oh yeah she's the ex he ran off with while BM was preggers at one point great)I'm not a second fiddle this isn't me having some bitchy attitude this is a matter of respecting me, my needs and my wishes get out. He tried to change my mind I made him leave kids and all.
A week of him trying to come home crying blah blah blah, his mom and sisters reamed him that I was right, I let him come home.
That's when the not 18 yr old family friend starts texting I'm like wtf he says he doesn't know she's having family problems she's like a kid sister invites her over for dinner and nope she goes or you go buddy, what 17 yr old tells a grown ass man in front of their gf they look sexier than they remember wtf! SO even looked stunned he was like sweetie that's really not appropriate I'm flattered but kiddo that's not cool, she went on for a bit about how mature she's gotten it was freaky and I ended up telling her to shut her hole and call her grandmother to get her. She did but would still text SO he again didn't get it and was like but I'm not doing anything wrong she's the one says weird things I told him she's #1 a kid, #2 he should be telling her she's creeping him out not she's creeping me out, and #3 tell her to go away he's going to end up in jail and it was never anything as blatant as the sexy comment and he usually just ignored her texts because it was all pretty strange he maybe responded to her 3 times and never inappropriate but ignoring wasn't cutting it she had to go. I told him this was another boundary example. He got it text her and was clear she made him uncomfortable that she was a kid and needed to leave him alone, or he'd be informing her grandmother. He he deleted her and the other woman from FB, blocked them and removed them from his phone, we never heard from them again, and he apologized for making me feel uncomfortable, insecure and for hurting my feelings that he would always try to keep boundaries in place and be open and honest with me. Then he gave me all his passwords and sign ins for all his accounts and I did the same. IDK if he checks on me it's okay if he does and same vice versa.
Moral is he didn't blame me, he didn't twist it to be all me, and he fixed it and has stuck with it. We're open books it's what I have to have because of the past, I trust him more than I thought I could ever trust someone again because I have access even if I don't look.

I also stumbled on things on a shared external hard drive. I found pics of DH having unprotected sex with another woman. He lied about the date it happened when I confronted him, and has since wiped out the hard drive.

I also found probably 100's, if not thousands of sexy pictures on there, but there were from his download history (it was a backup of his laptop) so it's not that he meant to save them. He was shocked they were on there because he didn't realize it stayed saved. Yes, my DH is in IT and didn't realize all of his downloads would remain on his computer.

I was mostly worried that if I could stumble on it without trying (I was looking for videos of our boys to compile, and even asked him to send me any that weren't on that hard drive.) I asked him to get rid of it all because I didn't want our children to be able to stumble on things in the future.

Trust your instincts. If you feel the need to snoop, or are curious, it probably means something is up.

If I didn't have my boys (or if they weren't so young) I would have left DH. Things are status quo right now, but who knows.

he doesn’t have anything, doesn’t own a house, a car and he is significantly older.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
This alone should be enough to put up RED FLAGS!!

Better a bitch than be duped, I always say. Which is why I never fault anyone for snooping. If there's nothing to hide, then there's no harm in looking.

DH doesn't delete things either and I've found pics of his exes--nothing inappropriate at all, just holidays and get togethers of that sort. I like to go through them just to catch a glimpse of his younger years, a snapshot of a time I didn't know him. I did read some things between him and his ex best male friend that did bother me for a while about BM (like how much of a whore she was but a good lay) but I worked through that. The past is the past and he's never spoken about me ever like that.

I confront the feelings and the images they bring, over and over again until I'm pretty much desensitized to it. When you no longer fear your own mind and the compulsive thoughts, you begin to master them. They are in the privacy of your own head, cry about them, rage about them, get mad about them and FEEL all those things and then let it go by saying, let them pass through, these have no power over me. It also helped to speak to DH about them (he's more insecure than I am) and hear him acknowledge my feelings and apologize for them, not make excuses.

And I came to the hilarious conclusion had I met him in his 20's I wouldn't have given him the time of day because he was SUCH a dork. He aged much better.