6 year old had long hair. She kept asking mom to cut it, mom said no.
She kept asking SM and dad. Everyone, including MIL knew mom would flip if the child's hair was cut. Dad gives in, SM takes her to get it cut.
SM says it's just hair and there's nothing BM can do about it.
It was pointed out that mom can go to court it use this against dad.
It was also pointed out that SM taught the child to play one parent against the other in order to get what she wants. That lesson will bite dad and SM in the ass once the cute kid becomes a teen.
I know there is nothing in DH's CO about hair cutting. He can have the kids hair cut if he wants when he has them. But for the sake of his sanity he will only do it when psycho asks him or they agree upon it. Every time DH got the boys' hair cut (when it was agreed to by both of them) psycho freaked the fuck out because she didn't like the style of hair cut. Once DH had them get a nice high and tight (it was summer time, they have cow licks in the back and his style helps it) when he dropped them off psycho was yelling at him called the hair cut style "military shit" (all in front of the kids by the way). So now we will NOT get them hair cuts even if she asks him too. The boys always have long hair and they don't know how to take care of it. SS11 looks like he's trying to be in a boy band and SS9 looks like he has a mullet. We did have to get SS11's hair cut (high and tight) because he kept getting lice. DH put his foot down on this one and made psycho agree to it because the lice just would not stop. He took him and got his hair cut and surprise, surprise psycho hates it and told DH it was too short (hair has to be 2 inches or shorter to help stop lice because they lay their eggs at 3 inches from the scalp). Well, the lice stopped and he hasn't had them since.
We don't dare take SD13 to get her hair cut despite the fact she wants us to. She understands her mom is crazy and has to hover over the hair stylist while SD is getting her hair cut so she can make sure the stylist is "doing it right"
Being that BM went so far as to include tattoos and piercings in the CO as to things that had to be mutually agreed to between the parents, I hope the hair cutting GF read the small print to see if it also included hair cuts. It ones thing to trim/shape up a kid's hair, but to totally whop it off at home and by the GF? Even a bio-father still married to the bio-mother wouldn't have just whacked off their bio-daughter's hair especially without consulting/agreeing on the amount and style.
Oh yeah, I can hear it now 'but it's her hair, her head and she asked me too'.
Oh, she said that. No way! I never make any decisions regarding parenting the skids. If they need a hair cut that's between DH and BM to get done. When DH did get the boys hair cut I didn't go with them to the chair. It was DH's job to decide how their hair was to be cut, not me.
I swear BMs have not cornered the market on psycho. There are plenty of SMs out there who are able and willing to give the craziest BKs out there a run for their money.
I will see my son's SM at his college graduation Mother's Day weekend. I think I need to thank her for being a normal, sane SM.
I gave her an honest answer from both my position as a SM and a BM. But she seemed pretty trollish. Mybe a just trust few people after some of the bullshit stories
I admit. I was one of those young stepmoms. I used to take Princess to get her hair cut all the time, and never really thought about how my DH and the BM thought about it. It was just something we did together, shopping and afternoon at the beauty shop! Now, of course, the two times she did drastically cut her hair, we got DH's permission first, but never once did I consider what BM would think. We had full physical custody, no money coming in from BM, and I just did what I thought I mom should do...
One time BM took the boys to get a haircut and shaved them bald in June! On the day she knew we had to take them to a family funeral! We spent the rest of the summer putting sunscreen on their poor little heads! After that, DH made sure if they needed a cut, he took them before she picked them up for a visit.
I think as she got older, SD even started telling her mother "no- I only want Last-Wife to take me. She knows how I like it."
I cut my SD's hair myself once, because she had a really bad case of lice. She has very long, thick, abundant hair. One Sunday afternoon she yelled at me from the bathroom that there was something in her hair, I checked and sure enough, she had a really bad infestation. I can't blame the BM for not noticing either, I did ask her if it had itched at all or bothered her before and she said no.
Anyway I (and her paternal grandmother who was visiting at the time) spent over an hour trying to run the nit comb through her hair, but it was impossible. Just too much of it. Eventually her dad said "that's enough, cut it". By this point SD was crying because she was so revolted, yelling "get them off me" and it was clear there was no choice. So I cut it as best I could to the nape of her neck (ponytail length) and then spent another 3 hours running the nit comb through. We kept her off school the next day and re-treated her hair: all in all it took a few days before she was completely free of the horrible creatures.
She told BM herself on the phone that eveningwhat had happened, and although BM was not happy I have to say she did understand why it was done. BM took her to get the cut made nice, once she was clear of them.
I had never even seen a louse before, her grandmother said it was the worst case she had ever seen (and at 70 she's seen a few!). I washed all clothing, bedding, hairbrushes, in really hot wáter and bleach (ruined a couple of things but better that tan the lice - or their eggs).
All in all, yuck.
My SO has had both girls' hair cut occasionally when they were little, usually at the start of summer as it was cooler and easier for them to care for.
I think the bigger point is that everyone involved knew mom told the kid no. Instead of accepting her mom's answer, she ran to dad and SM to get them to veto her.
The hair will grow back. BM will calm down.
But the child has been taught that she can run to one parent when the other tells her no. That is a dangerous lesson that will cause major problems in both homes as the child gets older.
Since the SM in this case feels she's a parent just because she's dad's girlfriend, I have a hard time believing BM is crazy or selfish as she painted her to be.
That's the thing about psycho/control freak BMs and SMs. Everything they say paints the other person as the problem.
If your BM is on a site for moms do you think she says your a mormal SM or a high conflict SM?
If she paints you as the SM from hell, while revealing some odd things about herself, people may stop and think that SM may not be as awful as she wants us to think she is.
Not all BMs are awful. Not all SMs are great. There are bad apples in both barrels.
We did donate the hair!
SD was super excited. She just recently learned about donating and even donated some of her Christmas money. She's really an awesome kid!
And i just want to note to all of you stalker bullies who think you know what you are talking about.
I've been a SM to SD since she was a year old. She is now six. Yes, SO and I aren't married so my title is technically "girlfriend". But I not just a girlfriend. I am way more than that. And just because we are not married doesn't mean I need to be degraded.
Some of you have even made remarks about how step mothers shouldn't do hair and nails with Step daughters because it's a mom thing.
What? How do you bond with your step child?
SO does not get the least bit upset when SD experiences things or new things/firsts with BM and her Bf. If anything, he is happy she is happy.
We are not petty people like BM and some of you ladies.
And we did not allow or teach SD to play one parent over the other.
BM did not express to SO nor discuss with him her views on SD's hair.
SD has been mentioning cutting her hair at our house for many weeks so I am positive she mentioned it at BM's.
So BM knew we knew it's something SD wanted.
And instead of contacting SO - she inappropriately told her child that she is not allowed to get her hair cut at dad's house.
And if SD never mentioned her comment to us, technically we wouldn't even know that BM felt that way.
So instead of co parenting and communicating with the FATHER/other parent, she tried to manipulate and scare SD into feeling like her mother has all the say and daddy doesn't. She can't ask him for anything unless mommy says okay. How is that okay? Isn't that pas? Disturbing the relationship between father and daughter. If you really think about it, she was indirectly trying to control SO's parenting time and parenting decisions.
This is a woman who told her own daughter that she can't lose her loose tooth at dad's house.
For her own selfish reasons which in turn ruins it for SD.
I do not think that I am the parent the mother or only parent. But in a parent figure in her life. I am not her mother. I do what I can to foster a relationship with SD and help her foster a relationship with her father.
I have even helped in some ways - foster the balance and relationship between SD and BM. When SD draws pictures of SO and I, I suggest she draw one of her mother and her Bf. And we mailed it to BM.
SO and I had SD call BM on BM's birthday (SD didn't even know it was her birthday) but it was our visitation. More than she has ever done for SO and I. She's even gotten and made gifts for her mom. And by gotten, I mean paid for with mine and SO's money. Like we wanted to. But it made SD feel good giving her mother a present.
And SO and I have been discussing contacting BM about her baby. Apparently her due date falls on our visitation and it wouldn't be fair to SD to miss that moment. So we want to suggest to BM that SD stay and we make up his visitation later. Would BM ever do that for us? Hell no.
But we are not like her. We don't put our selfish feelings over SD's needs and SD's feelings.
She wanted her hair cut. He's her parent and eventually he the decision to do it after having conversations with SD about thinking about her decision to cut it for while before actually cutting it.
Everyone loves it including MiL.
I deleted the blog because some of you are just so crazy and jump to extreme conclusions and accusations.
I also have a life and don't sit on ST all day bitching about my life and Skids.
Instead, I'm bonding with mine and creating great memories with her and SO.
Comments
Did I miss something?
Did I miss something?
6 year old had long hair.
6 year old had long hair. She kept asking mom to cut it, mom said no.
She kept asking SM and dad. Everyone, including MIL knew mom would flip if the child's hair was cut. Dad gives in, SM takes her to get it cut.
SM says it's just hair and there's nothing BM can do about it.
It was pointed out that mom can go to court it use this against dad.
It was also pointed out that SM taught the child to play one parent against the other in order to get what she wants. That lesson will bite dad and SM in the ass once the cute kid becomes a teen.
I know there is nothing in
I know there is nothing in DH's CO about hair cutting. He can have the kids hair cut if he wants when he has them. But for the sake of his sanity he will only do it when psycho asks him or they agree upon it. Every time DH got the boys' hair cut (when it was agreed to by both of them) psycho freaked the fuck out because she didn't like the style of hair cut. Once DH had them get a nice high and tight (it was summer time, they have cow licks in the back and his style helps it) when he dropped them off psycho was yelling at him called the hair cut style "military shit" (all in front of the kids by the way). So now we will NOT get them hair cuts even if she asks him too. The boys always have long hair and they don't know how to take care of it. SS11 looks like he's trying to be in a boy band and SS9 looks like he has a mullet. We did have to get SS11's hair cut (high and tight) because he kept getting lice. DH put his foot down on this one and made psycho agree to it because the lice just would not stop. He took him and got his hair cut and surprise, surprise psycho hates it and told DH it was too short (hair has to be 2 inches or shorter to help stop lice because they lay their eggs at 3 inches from the scalp). Well, the lice stopped and he hasn't had them since.
We don't dare take SD13 to get her hair cut despite the fact she wants us to. She understands her mom is crazy and has to hover over the hair stylist while SD is getting her hair cut so she can make sure the stylist is "doing it right"
Yeah it doesn't work that
Yeah it doesn't work that way. Not my kids, not my place to make decisions regarding them (hair or otherwise).
Being that BM went so far as
Being that BM went so far as to include tattoos and piercings in the CO as to things that had to be mutually agreed to between the parents, I hope the hair cutting GF read the small print to see if it also included hair cuts. It ones thing to trim/shape up a kid's hair, but to totally whop it off at home and by the GF? Even a bio-father still married to the bio-mother wouldn't have just whacked off their bio-daughter's hair especially without consulting/agreeing on the amount and style.
Oh yeah, I can hear it now 'but it's her hair, her head and she asked me too'.
Oh, she said that. No way! I
Oh, she said that. No way! I never make any decisions regarding parenting the skids. If they need a hair cut that's between DH and BM to get done. When DH did get the boys hair cut I didn't go with them to the chair. It was DH's job to decide how their hair was to be cut, not me.
OMG I missed the four parents
OMG I missed the four parents thing. That poor woman is just begging for trouble.
If BM is crazy it may be because she's dealing with a woman who thinks she's her child's parent.
HA! Genius Stepdown! Using
HA! Genius Stepdown! Using the same logic them my skids have DH and 5 other fathers LOL
I swear BMs have not cornered
I swear BMs have not cornered the market on psycho. There are plenty of SMs out there who are able and willing to give the craziest BKs out there a run for their money.
I will see my son's SM at his college graduation Mother's Day weekend. I think I need to thank her for being a normal, sane SM.
I took Sd13 to get her nails
I took Sd13 to get her nails painted once. Thankfully, DH asked psycho before we did to make sure she was ok with it.
I gave her an honest answer
I gave her an honest answer from both my position as a SM and a BM. But she seemed pretty trollish. Mybe a just trust few people after some of the bullshit stories
THIS Based on that logic
THIS
Based on that logic grandparents are also parents. Since they are actually related to the SKs, their opinions should matter more than SPs opinions.
The sad thing BM doesn't know
The sad thing BM doesn't know about the hair cut yet. Can yoy imagine how that exchange is going to play out?
I admit. I was one of those
I admit. I was one of those young stepmoms. I used to take Princess to get her hair cut all the time, and never really thought about how my DH and the BM thought about it. It was just something we did together, shopping and afternoon at the beauty shop! Now, of course, the two times she did drastically cut her hair, we got DH's permission first, but never once did I consider what BM would think. We had full physical custody, no money coming in from BM, and I just did what I thought I mom should do...
One time BM took the boys to get a haircut and shaved them bald in June! On the day she knew we had to take them to a family funeral! We spent the rest of the summer putting sunscreen on their poor little heads! After that, DH made sure if they needed a cut, he took them before she picked them up for a visit.
I think as she got older, SD even started telling her mother "no- I only want Last-Wife to take me. She knows how I like it."
I cut my SD's hair myself
I cut my SD's hair myself once, because she had a really bad case of lice. She has very long, thick, abundant hair. One Sunday afternoon she yelled at me from the bathroom that there was something in her hair, I checked and sure enough, she had a really bad infestation. I can't blame the BM for not noticing either, I did ask her if it had itched at all or bothered her before and she said no.
Anyway I (and her paternal grandmother who was visiting at the time) spent over an hour trying to run the nit comb through her hair, but it was impossible. Just too much of it. Eventually her dad said "that's enough, cut it". By this point SD was crying because she was so revolted, yelling "get them off me" and it was clear there was no choice. So I cut it as best I could to the nape of her neck (ponytail length) and then spent another 3 hours running the nit comb through. We kept her off school the next day and re-treated her hair: all in all it took a few days before she was completely free of the horrible creatures.
She told BM herself on the phone that eveningwhat had happened, and although BM was not happy I have to say she did understand why it was done. BM took her to get the cut made nice, once she was clear of them.
I had never even seen a louse before, her grandmother said it was the worst case she had ever seen (and at 70 she's seen a few!). I washed all clothing, bedding, hairbrushes, in really hot wáter and bleach (ruined a couple of things but better that tan the lice - or their eggs).
All in all, yuck.
My SO has had both girls' hair cut occasionally when they were little, usually at the start of summer as it was cooler and easier for them to care for.
I think the bigger point is
I think the bigger point is that everyone involved knew mom told the kid no. Instead of accepting her mom's answer, she ran to dad and SM to get them to veto her.
The hair will grow back. BM will calm down.
But the child has been taught that she can run to one parent when the other tells her no. That is a dangerous lesson that will cause major problems in both homes as the child gets older.
holy mother of satan....I
holy mother of satan....I missed the good shit didn't I?????.... }:)
anywho, just goes to show that there are crazy ass SM's out there too....yep...yep...yep....
Since the SM in this case
Since the SM in this case feels she's a parent just because she's dad's girlfriend, I have a hard time believing BM is crazy or selfish as she painted her to be.
That's the thing about
That's the thing about psycho/control freak BMs and SMs. Everything they say paints the other person as the problem.
If your BM is on a site for moms do you think she says your a mormal SM or a high conflict SM?
If she paints you as the SM from hell, while revealing some odd things about herself, people may stop and think that SM may not be as awful as she wants us to think she is.
Not all BMs are awful. Not all SMs are great. There are bad apples in both barrels.
We did donate the hair! SD
We did donate the hair!
SD was super excited. She just recently learned about donating and even donated some of her Christmas money. She's really an awesome kid!
And i just want to note to all of you stalker bullies who think you know what you are talking about.
I've been a SM to SD since she was a year old. She is now six. Yes, SO and I aren't married so my title is technically "girlfriend". But I not just a girlfriend. I am way more than that. And just because we are not married doesn't mean I need to be degraded.
Some of you have even made remarks about how step mothers shouldn't do hair and nails with Step daughters because it's a mom thing.
What? How do you bond with your step child?
SO does not get the least bit upset when SD experiences things or new things/firsts with BM and her Bf. If anything, he is happy she is happy.
We are not petty people like BM and some of you ladies.
And we did not allow or teach SD to play one parent over the other.
BM did not express to SO nor discuss with him her views on SD's hair.
SD has been mentioning cutting her hair at our house for many weeks so I am positive she mentioned it at BM's.
So BM knew we knew it's something SD wanted.
And instead of contacting SO - she inappropriately told her child that she is not allowed to get her hair cut at dad's house.
And if SD never mentioned her comment to us, technically we wouldn't even know that BM felt that way.
So instead of co parenting and communicating with the FATHER/other parent, she tried to manipulate and scare SD into feeling like her mother has all the say and daddy doesn't. She can't ask him for anything unless mommy says okay. How is that okay? Isn't that pas? Disturbing the relationship between father and daughter. If you really think about it, she was indirectly trying to control SO's parenting time and parenting decisions.
This is a woman who told her own daughter that she can't lose her loose tooth at dad's house.
For her own selfish reasons which in turn ruins it for SD.
I do not think that I am the parent the mother or only parent. But in a parent figure in her life. I am not her mother. I do what I can to foster a relationship with SD and help her foster a relationship with her father.
I have even helped in some ways - foster the balance and relationship between SD and BM. When SD draws pictures of SO and I, I suggest she draw one of her mother and her Bf. And we mailed it to BM.
SO and I had SD call BM on BM's birthday (SD didn't even know it was her birthday) but it was our visitation. More than she has ever done for SO and I. She's even gotten and made gifts for her mom. And by gotten, I mean paid for with mine and SO's money. Like we wanted to. But it made SD feel good giving her mother a present.
And SO and I have been discussing contacting BM about her baby. Apparently her due date falls on our visitation and it wouldn't be fair to SD to miss that moment. So we want to suggest to BM that SD stay and we make up his visitation later. Would BM ever do that for us? Hell no.
But we are not like her. We don't put our selfish feelings over SD's needs and SD's feelings.
She wanted her hair cut. He's her parent and eventually he the decision to do it after having conversations with SD about thinking about her decision to cut it for while before actually cutting it.
Everyone loves it including MiL.
I deleted the blog because some of you are just so crazy and jump to extreme conclusions and accusations.
I also have a life and don't sit on ST all day bitching about my life and Skids.
Instead, I'm bonding with mine and creating great memories with her and SO.
well aren't you special.....
well aren't you special.....
Lol. Okay.
Lol. Okay.