The only thing I expect from BM is that she never ever puts SO or myself down in front of SD. She can hate me and him all she wants but its so unfair to involve children in your drama.
Like stated above, regardless of their past, she should be happy that SD has a father in her life. There are so many kids who don't.

I expected her to be able to compartmentalize her feelings toward/about dh and their relationship for the betterment of their child. As many of us on here have done regarding our exH. I however, was expecting too much. Instead she merely shifted her resentment to me and my bios. Now she merely uses ss as a pawn in her sick game.

I expect her to grow up and act like an adult. Again, I'm asking too much.

I expected BM to always put SD and her best interest first.

Like me? No. But I did expect her to want to meet me considering I was spending so much time with SD.

Did I expect her to get along with DH? No. But I didn't expect her to make a sport out of making up issues to disagree over.

Basically I expected her to put SD's feelings before her own. & she doesn't.

I expected her to want what is best for her kids and to know the difference between her wants and their needs. She failed at that.

Also, I feel lied to. DH told me that BM wasn't malicious, just stupid. She was a good mom who loved her kids and the terrible things she did were out of pure ignorance. :jawdrop:

There is no doubt that she isn't the brightest bulb on the tree. That part is true. It took me seeing their communications with my own eyes to realize that she is indeed a manipulative abusive bitch. Then he told me stories of the physical violence. These stories were confirmed by skids and in-laws. Not malicious my ass. She is nothing but malicious when it comes to him. Sugar sweet fakeness with EVERYONE else but pure evil when it comes to him.

I don't have expectations from the BM or my DH in regards of their parenting. Well almost, I do expect Mr. Starla to correct his daughter when she physically abuses me. I shoved my SD into a rack of clothes after she shoved me 3 times then I walked up to hubby and told him to parent his daughter.

I expect BM to shut the fuck up.....

The only thing I expect from her is to act like a decent human being. But that’s asking WAY TO MUCH from her.

I expected to be besties and go shopping together, do Pilates together, take SDs to get their first hair cuts, bras, homecoming dresses etc. together, basically co-parent and be like sister-wives who share kids.

:sick: :sick: :sick: :sick:

All I really expect from BM is for her to be cordial to DH in front of the kids. It would be nice if she could be cordial to me as well. I expected her to do what is best for her children and keep her feelings about DH to herself. Instead, we have had to deal with a lot: unnecessary court drama, not following the CO, putting kids in the middle of adult issues, lying, talking badly about DH and myself to the kids etc. etc. etc.

I don't expect BM to care about my kids, but it would be nice if she cared about her own enough to care that half of the time they are somewhere else and what that is like for them with unnecessary drama vs. peace.

Considering my DS's father was never a part of his life, never so much as sent a bday or Xmas card and was constantly moving to try to get out of paying support and didn't even START paying regularly until DS was almost TEN (DS is now almost 23 and he has quit paying on arrears again)....I couldn't BELIEVE what a bitch BM was to my DH who always wanted to see the skids more and paid on time every time when he was able to work.

I felt very sad for my son who was denied a father because of my poor choices. I just couldn't BELIEVE that a mother would actually DENY her children access to their fit father who did more parenting when they were young than SHE did!

i expect nothing.

i do however wish things that (sadly) i admit will never come true, but i still wish nonetheless. i wish she would just STEP IT THE HELL UP as a human, an adult, and a parent.

My expectations for Uberskank are the same ones I have for H.

Get the eff along with each other, even if you have to fake it for the kids' sake.
Make the very best decisions for the kids development and education.
Do NOT use the kids as go-betweens.
Don't assume the SP is an evil SOB only to ruin lives. We just want peace in our home and a happy marriage.
Don't use the kid as a weapon.
Adhere to the CO and stick to the schedule. Yes, s**t happens and you both should be flexible. However kids work better on schedules.
Have relationship/house boundaries in place and respect them.
This isn't about your failed marriage, this is about raising your kid.
It's not a parenting competition. One of you may win but ultimately the kids will lose.

I expect BM to get a better job or find a way to provide more for her kids rather than expecting me to out of my paycheck because my bio kids (NOT DHs kids) have "more" than her kids.

Uh. Yes. Because I busted my ass long before I met DH to make sure they have all the things they have.

I expect exW BM to STFU and get a life.

Why do so many BMs think the SM wants to "take over" their kid? I do not want your kid lady. I have my own kids.

I used to expect that I could have rational conversations with her. I was painfully young and naïve.

Now, I expect to be left alone.

I expected BM to do her part and be a responsible adult and co-parent.

I expected her to accept me and the fact that her ex (my dh) moved on.

I expected to her to be mature, realistic and fair.

These expectations are in a perfect world but unfortunately that is not what we lie in.

For a while I expected her to kill herself since that was what she kept saying if DH wouldn't be with her.

But she didn't, thankfully.

Now I just expect her to pop up once in a while like a cold sore. You didn't do anything to aggravate it, it just happens, and you just need to ride out the storm and it'll go dormant again.

So BM is like... herpes. You know you got it, but only you can choose to live a life despite it.

(I sound like a commercial.)

I would HOPE one day we can be on cordial terms. That's the hope I hang on to.

10 years ago I expected BM to be difficult, to be angry and jealous and resent me. But I expected her to put the children's needs first. And I expected things to improve over time. So I turned the other cheek and tried to do the right thing. Then she spent 2 years stalking us and a further 3 years trying to replace DH in their children's lives with her BF, with whom she had another child and later broke up. Now I expect her to hate me and go out of her way to get to me at every opportunity, although opportunities are now rare, I expect her to undermine DH whenever she can and then to call on him regarding their children when it suits her. I expect her to still be clinging onto her status as first wife and her connection to DH's family for the rest of her life. I expect her to carry on as a functioning alcoholic never managing to quit, and spend the rest of her life blaming DH for their children's problems, and painting herself as the victim instead of coming to terms with the effects of her own drinking and infidelity.

I have no expectations. BM is FH issue/problem/ baggage..whatever you call it. I have hope. I don't know her and probably never will. All I know is what FH tells me and emails she sends.