need advice soon
So i started dating my finance one year ago tomorrow.he has 2 kids a boy 10 and a girl 12. I have 3 children boys 17,18 and adayghter 20. While dating him at the beginning he wouldn't really have me around the same time he had his children which was understandable. As we fell inlove we allowed all the kids to meet and hang out. The only problem was his 2 kids said they didnt like any of us and cant understand why were around. The daughter especially is spoiled and says any hurtful thing sye can to her dad and he takes it. We figure its a phase and decide to get engaged and move into togwyher. My kids permanent and his come 4days a wk. I had no idea what me and my kids were in for. The 10 yr old boy talks and acts like he is 5 yrs old and whines for his dad to carry him like a baby and rub his nack before bed. Hes Also still pees on himswlf and poops. He is allowed by his mom to stare at an ipad for several hrs a day. He has so idea how to clean up and talks to his dad like he is a grown up calling the shots! The girl speaks to her dad like hes a child with mean tones and sarastic remarks. They hate leaviing the house when theyre with us.the daughter has made it known and has made every family trip miserable. My kids are mortified but they keep quiet anf say theyfeel bad for my fiance. I feel bad too but have ddveloped a dislike for these kids. Ive never said or felt that for any kid before. Were engaged to be married in august. I love him alot and so do my children. Does anyone have advice? I welcome whAtever you got.
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Sorry about the typos,im
Sorry about the typos,im using my phone. But just to add to my story. The his kids have been the only reason weve argued. Either a direct act on their part or my growing resentment. I do talk to my fiancw often and he agrees they need structure and learn common decency. He alao admits he has no idea how. I think hes also affraid of loosing them because they may rather stay with mom than come to a house with rules.
^^^This^^^ Are you prepared
^^^This^^^
Are you prepared for a lifetime of this? It will not get better once you're married and will in fact, get a lot worse.
See, this is why I wonder why
See, this is why I wonder why people with totally polar opposite parenting ideals think they can make a blended family. No amount of love for another makes this close to bearable.
Your fiance has had a year to get his kids in line. So has anything changed?
All og you are right and
All og you are right and thank you so much for taking the time to respond. He actually said tonight that he wants to put the wedding off until this situation resolves itself. When we first moved in together he had habits of bringing the kids their food/ drink to them so thry wouldn't have to get up. I look back and see some improvements but that idea disgusts me. I still have 17 months on my lease. Agh! The BM is a total b****. She has done a poor job of raising these kids. She cheated on my fiance with her second husband for 2 yrs before he found out. He and the kids do need counseling. I dont even know why i got pulled into this.
Its true they "are his kids",
Its true they "are his kids", but he continuously pleads for me to help him and be patient. Just when i cannot tolerate the back talking or them threatening to "tell mom" if he doesnt conform is unacceptable. And it wouldn't be my business i agree if he wasnt trying to say everything possible to keep me here. Its just too much. Theyre mean and repeat every mean thought their mom says in front of them about our home.