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Know what else I'm sick of?

attempting_to_maintain_composure's picture

FDH and SD interrupt me CONSTANTLY. There have been a few times when I will start speaking in the course of a conversation with either of them, yet, I try to always wait for a lull in what they are saying before I talk. Sometimes, it doesn't work, but most of the time it does.

But then, they get all indignant that I interrupted them.

Like, yesterday, FDH kept getting all pissy at me when he thought I was interrupting him even though he had finished a sentence (apparently, he must get an entire monologue out before I am allowed to speak), but then when I pointed out that I was still talking and he interrupted me mid-word? He got pissy.

Then, talking to SD after work. She gets to a natural lull in her speaking, ends her thought, and I respond. Then FDH scolds me in front of her indirectly. "Were you done talking SD? I know I told you earlier that you would be able to say EVERYTHING you needed to say..."

Fuck you, FDH.

Comments

furkidsforme's picture

UGH my DH does this EXACT thing. He speaks really slowly and will take a looooooooong pause like he is done his sentence. I start to speak and he is furious that I interrupted him and he was still formulating his words!!!!

We have never resolved it. He acts like he wants us to use a speaking stick and only the person who holds the stick may speak until they pass it on. I have tried to point out that in conversations with friends, we often talk amongst each other and no one finds it rude.

attempting_to_maintain_composure's picture

I've tried using that example with him when I find that he's getting way too angry and pissy towards me about it all. I say "but, when we're with our friends, and someone speaks over you, you don't get pissed off at them like you do with me." He says it's different. I say he's full of shit and that he just doesn't want his friends to realize what an asshole he can be.

tabby yabba do's picture

My DD25 (god love her!!) does this on the phone. It's so irritating that I usually text her instead.

But when I do speak with her, I just sit quiet, for a long time, after she speaks. Longer than socially appropriate. It annoys the crap out of her but I just want to make sure she's done speaking after all!

Doesn't always work. Interrupting is a terrible habit to break.

attempting_to_maintain_composure's picture

It definitely is. And I know and totally understand and respect that. However, my issue is the way FDH and SD handle it when they interrupt me - like it's no big deal and I should just take it - versus how they handle it when I interrupt them. Like, I'm pure evil and just an asshole.

tabby yabba do's picture

Well you're not pure evil. And you're not an asshole. Smile

Smile sweetly while they speak. If you start to utter a word during the socially appropriate silence and they begin speaking again, stop and smile sweetly. Rinse. Lather. Repeat. (as they say here) and then go punch a pillow.

Maybe they're trying to drown out your voice in your household, maybe they're just uber rude. Either way, I feel for ya!!

Not the Brady Bunch's picture

This is happening a lot here lately. I think it basically goes to the Men are from Mars; Women are from Venus school of thought, but it is HARD! With women friends, we talk over each other all the time and still know exactly what we are talking about. The long drawn out pregnant pauses of men either feel like I am being ignored, or they make it like I am being rude when I start talking again. Even knowing the difference doesn't make it easy to adapt.

attempting_to_maintain_composure's picture

But he's now training SD to do the monologue approach to conversation. Where as when I talk to someone, I'm far more conversational. I speak, then they speak, then I speak, then they speak, or the reverse. You know, a real EXCHANGE of thoughts and ideas versus being talked at for hours on end before you can say one word.

bluehighlighter's picture

"So he scolded you for engaging SD in a conversation and speaking to SD after she finished a thought, in front of her like you were a child interrupting an adult. OH HELL NO!"

THIS

attempting_to_maintain_composure's picture

Yea, and given the way he scolded me repeatedly in the car on the way home from work when I was trying to explain to him what had me so upset yesterday, I feel like I'm at a complete loss on how to address this bullshit with him besides just walking away. He's taken me telling him, in my counselor's office, that I need him to be more communicative with me to mean that he can talk down to me, scold me, and all around talk to me like shit. Because, hey, he's telling me how he feels!

Well if that is how he really feels, why the fuck is he marrying me?

Tuff Noogies's picture

just put your freaking hand up like a gradeschooler.

AHH gets annoyed when i do that cuz he knows it's totally smartass 'do i have permission to speak yet?'. but it gets the point across.

attempting_to_maintain_composure's picture

Or I could just freeze them both out. Disengagement across the board sounds mighty nice right about now. Nothing I do is right by either of them in their opinions. And I'm always painted as the bad guy. No matter what.

I was interrupting SD.
I'm the only one who has a problem with SD not following the house rules.
I'm the only one who has a probelm with SD trying to act like FDH's wife/partner and snub me out.

attempting_to_maintain_composure's picture

Next time I try to have any conversations with either one or both of them, I'm recording the fucking thing so they can both hear how mean they are when they talk to me.

vickimill26's picture

Happens with me all the time, not only does he interrupt me, he drifts off when I am talking, or leaves the room. Tells me my stories take too long to get to the point that may be interesting. Yet most of what he is telling me is a story I have heard like 3 times already.
But God-forbid I point that out or that he interrupted me, it's like I stabbed him in the heart. :?

vickimill26's picture

ooops, forgot, The skids just keep saying "excuse me" or "dad" over and over again until we stop talking and listen to them.
I really dislike that!

attempting_to_maintain_composure's picture

SD doesn't even do that. She just barges right into whatever I'm saying, steps all over my words, and cuts me off. If I say something? Oh, she's HURT and cut to the core! Why am I so mean?!

attempting_to_maintain_composure's picture

They never see it. I repeated something to FDH yesterday in the exact shitty tone he used and he literally saw nothing wrong with it at all. Just said "yep, that's what I said, so what?" They are completely blind to the problems they have.