For those of you who have siblings yourself or have bios of your own :)
This is going to sound strange and mostly off topic, but... For those of you who have brothers or sisters or your own bio children; Is this normal? I am an only child so I have no clue.
DH and I have DD8 and DS5. And theres SD12. Now, SD12 has made it clear since DD's birth that she wasn't happy about it. Anyway.. DH has full custody of SD12.
^^Just info, now the real question and point lol Did you as a sibling or do your bios get upset if their sibling is upset? DD8 and DS5 are pretty close. They love each other very much and if one gets hurt, the other one gets upset.
Example: DD8 fell and cut her knee open. DD was crying and I brought her into the bathroom to clean it and cover it up. DD is crying and telling me not to use alcohol(like DH does. Ouch) DS runs into the bathroom, sees DD crying and then DS starts crying. He seems to be just as upset as DD. I am cleaning her knee with water and DD cries more. I'm telling her it's okay, but we have to clean it before we cover it. DS starts pulling on my arm, telling me to stop because I'm hurting DD. DS starts crying more when I don't stop.
DS5 told me that it makes him cry when he sees DD8 cry. And vice versa. One night DD8 was in tears for almost 20 minutes because DS got hurt one night. Almost like they're connected and feel the others hurt. Weird.
If either DD8 or DS5 get hurt, SD12 will stare with a blank stare. She feels nothing for no one.
Did any of you experience this? Do your bios do this? I have heard twins are close like this, but clearly DD8 and DS5 are not twins lol
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I would cry if my big sister
I would cry if my big sister cried.
My younger sisters are twins and they would feed off of each others emotions.
It's normal for them to feel empathy for each other when they're hurt or scared.
I can't even put into words
I can't even put into words the feeling I get when I see how much they care for each other. I am so very happy that they're that close and have so much empathy.
She would let them get hurt,
She would let them get hurt, if she knew that DH and I wouldn't find out that she could have prevented something. Just another reason why SD will never be allowed to babysit/watch/or be left alone with DD and DS.
Seue explains this perfectly.
Seue explains this perfectly. What were your observations of SD towards her sister (your DD) when they were younger?
SD has always hated DD. DH
SD has always hated DD. DH and I have even found ripped out journal entries where SD12 wrote about how much she couldn't stand DD. I was looking at pictures not too long ago of SD holding DD as an infant when SD was 4. The evil look on SD's was murderous. SD seems indifferent about DS5.
SD12 has never liked DD.
They technically are related.
They technically are related. DH is the father of SD, DD and DS. But you're right, there is no bond.
I have found the Steps, COD
I have found the Steps, COD sometimes lack empathy and compassion. It is not an automatic behavior it is learned. In the case of my Steps, they do not have it. SD18 has none and SS15 is better but that is because of me and I have been raising him for the last few years. The divorce happened when they were little and the parents both over compensated for the divorce and never called them out on manners or expectations on behavior and how to treat people. So as time goes on, no compassion.
This manifests with my SD in that she goes through "BFF's" like water and is always having problems with someone. She calls them names or is just mean and then can't understand why they aren't her friends anymore. For my SS, he is blunt. No filter at all and that turns people off. It is a constant battle to teach him compassion for others.
SD12 always has trouble with
SD12 always has trouble with girls at school because SD12 is not a nice person. SD seems to completely lack guilt, empathy, and sympathy.
SD18 is headed to college and
SD18 is headed to college and we have bets going on how long before she irritates the roommate and their is some drama.
several siblings...I was
several siblings...I was closest to my older brother. I did not want to see him sad.
My bios are less than a year and a half apart. When they were younger, they were inseparable!!!! One wouldn't take a piece of candy if the other couldn't have one too!
Now, even though they are teens and bicker, they are totally still, "where is sister?" "what time will brother be back? Where did he go??" etc.
eta: Older sis and younger brother were and as adults are, annoying. So no, I had no heartbreak over their heartbreak.
I had 2 older brothers. We
I had 2 older brothers. We only became upset when fear was involved. Otherwise we laughed at each other when one of us were hurt.
Have you asked your DS "what upsets you about DD scraping her knee?" questions like that? It might be of help if you have your kid assist you in cleaning up a scrape or 2 by grabbing things and the first aid kit if you haven't already done so.
As for SD and the blank stares..just weird and mine does that too! Stop the world if she gets a scrape though.. :O
I have talked to them both
I have talked to them both and both tell me that it makes them sad if the other one is hurt or upset or in trouble. It's very sweet, but I was just curious if it was a normal reaction since I am an only child.
DD will cater (lol) to DS if he gets hurt. She will run and get bandaids and ice packs for him and even helps him settle in on the couch with his blankie. But, DS gets so upset that he couldn't help even if he wanted. After he calms down he will give DD hugs.
I think its normal but really
I think its normal but really sweet how much they care about each other.
LaMareOsa. I have a
LaMareOsa.
I have a brother.
I also have two bios.
I cannot explain into words the feelings that siblings sometime devolop for one another. When my brother came into my life, my feelings for him evolved as follows:
Jealousy --> Resentment --> Understanding --> Bonding -->Willing to die for
Once I reached the "Willing to die for" stage, I knew then and there that my life was NOT my own. I cannot tell you exaclt when this happened but I was very young. My life, my sole purpose here on this good earth, was to look out for him. I threw myself instinctively before a gang of teenagers who were far older than me to protect my brother from being picked on. It wasn't the smartest play on my part, but it was my only play I had. Fortunately all they did was shove me and push me around and call me names. Nothing I couldn't overcome. Later when my brother was dating a girl that I knew was not right for him, I couldn't sleep at night. I'm 44 now and my brother is 40 and we still look out for one another.
My BS and BD (who are 4 and 2) can be the best of friends or the worst of enemies, but I see in their eyes the same feeling for each other that I have for my brother. If one sibling gets upset, you can rest assured that the other will be equally upset ESPECIALLY if there is physical pain/illness involved. MY BS got sick once and was throwing up. BD quite literally freaked out. BD got hurt a few weeks ago (she fell and hit her head). BS was upset and he started crying.
Wow. Very well said. From
Wow. Very well said. From what I have seen with my BD and BS, I think their relationship is like that. It's a wonderful thing to see, especially for an only child like myself.
Yes, it truly is a wonderful
Yes, it truly is a wonderful thing to see. They say a parent's love for their child is one of the strongest forces on earth but sadly, our parents are not with us forever. A siblings love is one that outlasts everything, including that of our spouses because our spouses were not there in our childhood.
I gave a speech at my brother's wedding on what it is like to be a big brother. I was surprised to hear that I made a lot of people cry. Although my speech was mostly comprised of personal experiences, I learned after that day that my feelings were universal.
Unfortunately, the same can't be said for ALL siblings. My wife and her sister have never been close and had a huge falling out shortly after my wife split from her ex. Alhough they are civil with each other and do love each other on some level, they won't "take a bullet" for each other.
Awesome Draco! I remember
Awesome Draco! I remember when my older brother and I were 9 and 11 yrs old running around in a dangerous neighborhood in CA and we bumped into a gang. They must of been 15 and up but several of them. My brother stepped in front of me, they wanted to fight, so he grabbed me saying "follow me!" and we out ran all of them. I couldn't ask for better brothers.
Both of them have been very protective of me.
That's cool! Yeah, I saved my
That's cool! Yeah, I saved my brother from quite a few scraps, even the ones that my brother said he didn't need any saving from!
I'm close to my sister, one
I'm close to my sister, one could say very close even (we talk about once a week, sometimes when we're both busy it's more like once a month). I've always loved her, but being six years older than her, there where times that she didn't think I did and vis versa-mostly when she was going through her teen years. No one can make me cry as fast or glow with pride faster than she can. The most touching thing she has ever done for me was when I was going through my divorce with my abusive EH (I was 25, she was 19) she gave me a CD she made, told me there was one song on it- but she realized how much I love her and wanted me to know how much she loved me. The song was lay your world on me by Ozzie, I still cry when I hear that song.
I was like this as a child. I
I was like this as a child. I didn't like when my siblings were hurt, in trouble, sad, etc. I cried to get my sister out of trouble even if she was being mean to me. I think your children are probably very sensitive to each other. I was most like this with my sister who I am closest in age to.