BM is a controlling twit. She begins setting skids up for sports but doesn't put any of my DH info down so we are constantly relaying on her to let us know. In their divorce it says they are to use Google Calendar to schedule activities but very rarely does. We don't even get any news from the school my SD goes to.

It seems she is always waiting til the day before to let us know and it is getting old. My DH and I seem to argue more over what decisions she is making because we are always scrambling last minute to get the kids to practice. Is it wrong to say kids aren't going? They are 4 and 6. The most recent thing is BM is now pulling kids out of daycare and using MIL, DH mom to watch kids all summer for free. Mil doesn't even watch my son (Adopted by my DH). This is the 4th daycare switch for both kids in less then a year. She is getting daycare credits on child support for daycare. Sad thing is she is 'low income' because she says she is not living with her current husband. She failed to turn in paperwork to re certify so she got dropped from all aid. How is that our fault? I just wish she could be held accountable as a grown adult.

I guess how do I explain this to my 8 yr old? He doesn't understand why step siblings are going to grandma's, let alone why they get to act a certain way. Every game and practice step kids go to their BM because she doesn't have rules or buys them things in front of him. I am tired of saying well their mom does that so when he listens to the rules we set forth I praise him in front of the other two.

Am I wrong? It's just so confusing and I'm tired of feeling like my son and I are getting walked on because my DH would rather not say anything because BM screams and yells all the time, but I hate arguing with DH all the time too. It is her way or no way. We don't even go by the court ordered custody arrangement now because it didn't work for her. What is a ST to do? My DH and I try so hard to treat all kids (bio and step) the same but that doesn't work when their BM Continues to crush that.

I also posted another blog on MIL favoritism to bio grandkids over my son who was legally adopted by my DH. Please help there too! Thanks