I can relate, especially with the doting part and the money part. So pukey. Sometimes I go to that stuff to be nice. When I get there it is so boring I find myself thinking "gee, I could be doing three loads of laundry right now...or cleaning my toilet...anything but this..." I go because I feel like I have to. Sometimes...
But lately...not so much. I have decided life is too short and time is something you can never earn back. Once it is spent it is gone. I am getting good at disengaging.
If you really don't want to go, don't go. Have fun with a friend, or hobby. Go to a spa, do something you would like to do when you don't have your bios. See a movie that is your pick. Take a trip.

Use this approach... this is your family and a time for you to devote yourself 100% to your kids without me being around. Consider this my gift to you. I promise I will go to the next one. (By which time the kids will be older and less likely to attend).

My DD has to attend the family breakfasts 3-4 times a year not to mention the Summer Reunion in a nearby small town. She did not sign up for this but as this is his family she will attend and then bitch at me for a month afterwards (I just laugh because she chooses to go) Her MIL has 'extreme allergies the Dr is surprised I am not on O2' yet can sit in a field of grasses for 6 hrs without any medication. When DD challenged her on this her MIL said(and I quote) "The grasses are different there....". Ummm same state, 45 mins away.