Felling like my house is "None of my business"
Does anyone get tired of having a skid live with you full time BUT all the issues dealing with the kid are "none of your business?" It really feels demeaning to be squeezed out of even minor decisions when those decisions impact my daily life too. I live here full time too. 
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Yeh, my skids are only with
Yeh, my skids are only with us 60% of the time. My DH and them moved into MY house. My Dh hides behind his kids ALL the time. It gets old when it's 60% of the time. I can barely handle that, don't think I could do the fulltime being a bystander in my own home. I empathize.
When SD8 is with us (7 days
When SD8 is with us (7 days on 7 days off) it is a house divided for us as well. It's like your team vs my team. I hate it and I hate the way it makes me feel about my SO because when she isn't there it's totally different.
That wouldnt fly with me. I
That wouldnt fly with me. I am the Queen of my castle.
Have you talked to your DH about how this makes you feel?
This is your home and your space too! You have a say in what happens there.
They want it both ways - you
They want it both ways - you cook and clean for the kid as if you are the maid, but issues that relate to the kid is not your concern. Dont let him haveit both ways. Its all in or nothing at all. If it continues you may want to take back your power and disengage, then it really is none of your business - by choice.
Agreed. You don't allow
Agreed.
You don't allow yourself to be mistreated/disrespected in your home, but then let his kids be his problem.
I understand completely but
I understand completely but the DH thinks EVERY thing is a kid thing. So when I tell him something needs to be taken care of (like the skids did a poor job cleaning their bathroom) which is a house thing, he only sees it as a kid thing and I'm nitpicking. Ugh!
HRNYC do you mean house
HRNYC do you mean house things are my business while kid things are DH's business? I never thought of that before. If I understand you correctly, it's a great idea--thanks!
I have been fighting this
I have been fighting this battle for the past several months since SD12 moved in. Katielee is allowed to be the maid, the taxi, the cook, etc., but she's NOT allowed to be involved in decisions having to do with the stepchild that one way or another WILL impact her life? OH HELL NO. I make sure life is hell around here for EVERYBODY if I feel excluded or treated like a bystander. Sometimes I CHOOSE to be a bystander, but if I want to be involved, then I'm damn well gonna be involved.
I REMEMBER
a little over a year ago BM came to pick up SS and when I walked outside with DH I was politely told by her that she needed to have private conversation with Dh about their son. I was not happy about that. I can be the picj up persone when he gets out of school early and she can't get out of bed but I can't hear this conversation. i was even more pissed that DH just looked at me and motioned that I go back in the house. I told them both to F*** Off and handle their own kid from now one I was done. I also told DH that NOTHING he does should be PRIVATE and if it is its suspicious !
Oh I also told SS to get out of the house and go and wait by his parents. i wasn't babysitting.
Yes, ditto here. SD is here
Yes, ditto here. SD is here fulltime and I was actually told she "is none of my concern" just a few weeks ago. It has worked out perfectly whenever DF opens his mouth to inform me of something or ask my opinion....I simply response with "I'm sorry but that is none of my concern" and move along with what I am doing.....funny he keeps coming at me with that's not what I meant???? Really? What else does that mean? And why is everything they plan or do or talk about such an f'ing secret? So I started just taking care of my BS without his involvement or discussing anything and wow guess what? He didn't like it either. Luckily he is getting the message loud and clear!! Unfortunately he is still guilty daddy.
I have no say
My SS has been with us for 10 weeks now, is supposed to ebe going home next week after his birthday. I don't see that happening as BM is having issues and her BF is in the hospital because he refuses to take his lithium. Not a safe environment for a child. DH spoke with her yesterday, I only know this becasue SS phone was shut off becasue she didn't pay the bill. DH never volunteers any information and they only seem to talk when he is at work, if she calls when he is at home he won't answer. I stopped caring and asking. they have a court date in September, he has until Friday to let the lawyer know if he wants her to handle the case and I am sure he won't call her, Not my circus !