Maybe katielee will chime in, she knows.

For me it wasn't how skid was being the mini-wife but how H was treating her like a mini-wife. He was the one that created the tug of war.

Skid would back down if I asserted my place as "wife" in the household. It was H that would step up and move her in as an equal adult. Rather than the kid in the house.

The mini-wife tug of war wasn't between skid and me. It was between H and me.

From what I have seen on this page the Mini would be the one that rejects SM, that manipulates dad, that rivals other's for dad's attention and wants to be treated as an equal or spouse. It does sounds weird and creepy to me for sure!

Yes, it's not about sexual stuff - although that is one way they try to "compete" Now I know people will say that is blaming the child etc - my thoughts are more that the child knows in many ways what she wants - SM/dad's GF gone and daddy back to herself, and she uses whatever tactics and maniupulations she can to achieve that goal - there is no sexual intent - she doesn't want THAT - but she knows that dad and SM have that and is trying to show dad that she "mini-wife daughter" is enough for him. And to show SM that she is NOT required. So the overtly sexual aspects of mini-wife behaviour are not about wanting a sexual relationship but about trying to compete.

It's way more than that though - it's everything everyone has mentioned - it's about power and control of the home, and of her dad.

So, it's about pushing the SM aside, trying to keep dad's affection and time all to herself, sitting in the front seat of the car (mine tried this ONCE! LOL) It's about trying to run the show here - she wants to be in charge of all the decisions.

My ysd was a minni wife. Her mom died and so she thought she was in charge of the household. When I came on the scene (and I was not his first relationship) she really got competitive. I remember thinking it won't be too bad; she is 19. Oh was I wrong.

My ysd was a minni wife. Her mom died and so she thought she was in charge of the household. When I came on the scene (and I was not his first relationship) she really got competitive. I remember thinking it won't be too bad; she is 19. Oh was I wrong.

My SDstb19 acts all high and mighty and tries to say I can't tell her what to do. This is on rare occasion however, because no one wants to deal with her. I have to keep reminding her on these special occasions that she is not the adult and she is not in charge. I hope she moves the hell out, but that will never happen. She is too needy and has no social skills. Either that or I'm hiding the Hershey's syrup that she keeps getting all over the fridge door. Some wife huh?

Here is a list I wrote a few months ago on my blog, A Little Stepmama Drama. (The list in my book is a little more comprehensive and explained in more detail.) I wish you all the best. Dealing with a Mini-Wife is pretty hellacious.

~ Usually involves a female child of divorce who has made to feel entitled to the sole attention and resources of her guilt-ridden father.

~ Made worse if the father has been single for a long period of time, during which the child became accustomed to the sole attention of her father.

~ Is inordinately affectionate with her father.

~ Has expectations that she will be the center of her father's attention or she will punish him by pouting, whining, or ignoring him.

~ New female in the father's life tends to feel "left out," "awkward," or "intrusive" when going out with the father and his mini-wife.

~ Mini-wife will try to compete with stepmother.

~ Mini-wife will feel less like his child and more like "the other woman" in the stepmother's mind.

~ Mini-wife will insist on sitting and walking next to her father at all times.

~ Mini-wife can become inordinately obsessed with her father, calling several times a day or becoming overly needy.

~ Mini-wife may insist on private dates with dad.

~ Mini-wife dwells on the past and wants to talk about times with her dad before her stepmother came into the relationship.

~Mini-wife tattles to her dad on her stepmother.

~Mini-wife tries to circumvent her stepmom's authority by going "over her head" to daddyyyy.

~Mini-wife tends to act and talk "babyish" when around her dad.

~Mini-wife blames everything bad in her life on her stepmother.

God this is crazy, I never signed up for this shit, really. This is sick, I'm so pissed right now for putting myself in a situation like this with a man who allowed his kid to cut his balls off a long time ago.