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If this is a repeat article sorry...

Ljcapp1's picture

Submitted by Ljcapp1 on Mon, 09/15/2014 - 12:24pm

But I just read it for the first time today, and I can totally relate. It's nice to have your feelings validated.

I especially like that part that says to our husbands:
"You are partially responsible for creating the angry monster through your enabling actions. Guilt is your driving force that allows you to be inconsistent, thereby creating an ex-wife who feels a sense of entitlement to your life. The reality is that you are DIVORCED. You must change your perspective by viewing your ex-wife like an acquaintance rather than someone who you have a permanent connection to. It is not your job to provide her with emotional support, be her shoulder to cry on or make sure she's happy. That is not your role anymore."
THANK YOU!

http://www.examiner.com/article/legally-divorced-but-emotionaly-connected

Comments

hereiam's picture

Submitted by hereiam on Mon, 09/15/2014 - 12:32pm

Luckily, my DH was never emotionally connected to BM, even when they were married.

Ljcapp1's picture

Submitted by Ljcapp1 on Mon, 09/15/2014 - 12:39pm

OMG - DH said that to me after we were married. "of course I love her she's the mother of my children." We were in the grocery store...I just stood there and stared at him. :?

Sasquatch and DH's emotional attachment and SD17's asshole personality have been the demise of our relationship since day 1 of marriage.

Ljcapp1's picture

Submitted by Ljcapp1 on Mon, 09/15/2014 - 12:59pm

I totally agree...They had been divorced almost 9 years when we got married but he was still under her command. It's been 4 years now some things are better but if she texts he stops what he is doing to respond...I just don't get it. I'm not like that with my EXH at all. No emotional attachment

Ljcapp1's picture

Submitted by Ljcapp1 on Mon, 09/15/2014 - 1:16pm

My H flew so many red flags I ignored...
he had pictures of her everywhere, he chatted with her by text or phone almost daily, she would send sad sappy messages with SD such as: "Mommy said she acted hasty when she divorced you and she regrets it."

I should have ran my ass off......Instead, I had to fight them all and now I'm exhausted and I really don't care.

Mercury's picture

Submitted by Mercury on Mon, 09/15/2014 - 1:17pm

This is so sad. I think I was lucky that my husband hated his ex, it made it easier for him to hear my point of view and make the break. A negative relationship is still a relationship and I wasn't going to stick around if he really needed that one more than he needed ours. I can't even imagine how it would feel to hear that from my husband, Lj. Sad

B22S22's picture

Submitted by B22S22 on Mon, 09/15/2014 - 2:47pm

that's BM's troubled personality.

Got one of those here.... still wants to tell me to this day that my DH will "always pine" after her.

This is the same woman who swears all men stop and stare at her.

She's either narcissistic or paranoid.. or both.