What could this turn into...

I just got a call from FDH. He got a call from BM. She is trying to go full time at work. It could be any day of the week, but it would have to be dayshift. As of now, BM has SD Monday to Friday until 4 and then FDH has her Friday at 4 to Sunday at 4. So BM told FDH that she was going to try to get money from the county for babysitting and then give the money to him..Ummmmmm...OOOkkkk....Then she would have to drop off SD the night before so SD wouldn't have to get up and out the door by 5:15am. This means:

-I would watch SD at night if FDH had to work
-You can't get money from the county for a babysitter and then give it to the PARENT!! That's just trying to abuse the system and probably illegal. Plus, she would have to take SD to an approved daycare, etc.
-Would her schedule be ever changing so week to week we wouldn't know when SD was coming?
-BM threatens FDH all the time about taking him back to court to make him be an EOWE "parent" and now that she doesn't have anyone to watch SD, she wants him to do it...

I feel like there are way too many variables for this to work out the way it should. This is not sitting well with me. My thoughts are, you chose to be the CP and you need to make arrangements to have someone watch her. But FDH's thoughts are that he gets to see his daughter more.....IDK how this would affect the custody arangement...IDK, It just gives me an icky feeling in the pit of my stomach....

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It sounds like she is used to

It sounds like she is used to getting what she wants from your husband. I thought that in most cases the CP could ask the NCP for money for childcare should they need it? Why is she asking the county? She needs to get a job that will either pay for child care or one that is at a time when her kid is at school or with her dad.

If your husband is insistent on helping and more time with his daughter then consider who you are helping if you agree to help babysit. Personally I try to work out when asked to do something if I am doing a favor for my husband or for BM. I won't do them for BM but for my husband I will try to help where I can.

The only way that I would accept something like that is if she is able to stick to specific nights a week that this happens every week and she signs a change in visitation order so that the extra overnights are recognized and CS is lowered accordingly then maybe I would consider it.

She wants to ask the county

She wants to ask the county so it would be FREE. She is always trying to abuse the system, that's how she was raised.....If she needs daycare money, she won't get it from FDH. He works a part time job working about 20-30 hours a week...

She never took him to court for child support. It's the last thing to hold over his head. We do pay her a monthly amount. And yes, the check is noted as to what the money is for.

Sorry, BM does have a job,

Sorry, BM does have a job, she works per Diem, She is trying to get full time....I think it's great that she wants to be full time, but I feel like she is using my FDH for what she wants. I agree that the CO shoud be changed accordingly and the nights should be specific.

We have a 10month old, so I will have to be home anyway. His bed time is around 7:30...

I just feel like she is using him to get what she wants. She knows that he will do anything to his daughter more.

I'm not sure how I feel about babysitting SD yet. I have watched her before, but I don't know if I want to do every week...

BM tried to do this EXACT

BM tried to do this EXACT same thing. Except she didn't offer to give us money. Just wanted me to watch SD for free while we continue to pay her CS. No way Jose.

In my state, they don't give

In my state, they don't give you the money.

My DD has this day care. First you get a list of approved day care providers, when you choose one, they money is sent directly to the day care provider and the parent pays any difference. My DD pays $4 a day to an established day care, they are sent the balance from the state.