Shelterd, Over Protected, Coddled Typical COD OSS Having a College Meltdown Because He Doesn't Know How to Handle His Feelings

My DH and I got into our first fight in 6 months last night. It was over SS21 who is in his 3rd year of college.

DH and BM divorced when SSs were very young. Of course DH was your extreme Disney dad and BM was your typical Golden Uterus. They over protected the kids from everything ... and I do mean everything.

Years ago I told my DH that he would live to rue the day that he(they) sheltered the boys from everything because they would not know how to deal in the real world. They were never allowed to experience feelings, so now they have no idea how to handle them.

OSS is in his 3rd year of college - a very expensive college. He called last night to tell DH that he does not like the field of study he chose and now he feels suicidal. He called at 11:00 at night. My DH gets up at 4:00 to go to work. MY SSs have never had any regard to how late they keep people up, because there were never any ramifications for it - or any damn thing. My DH wanted to talk to me about it last night but I blew a fucking gasket. I told him that he did his children a great disservice by not letting them develop coping skills. I also told him we are not about to let him change his major in college so he has to spend a few more years getting a degree. I've already spent many, many hellish years watching DH and BM shelter the kids from everything to a point where is it retarded. I told my DH that the kids will never be allowed to live with us again because I can't take it anymore. THEY (BM and DH) are the ones who took every learning and growing opportunity away from the kids by NOT allowing them to have feelings or to develop coping or reasoning skills.

OSS thinks every thing is a crisis. He wants drugs for his attention span. This kid is effing brilliant with an almost perfect GPA average. He wants pills for depression because college is haaaaaaard. I told my DH that these are NORMAL effing feelings but your precious princes think everything NORMAL fucking feeling is a crisis.

How do they expect these over protected kids to grow up and lives normal lives? They have NO coping skills.

MarriedaBallessWonder's blog
Log in or register to post comments

Comments

You should help him out and

You should help him out and have him committed for a 72 hour review...

I'm going to tell my DH this.

We live 1,200 miles away. But BM is still in our old state. But as far as over protecting, treating kids with kid gloves, she is the worst of the worst.

He called a few weeks ago to complain that he has no energy and feels extremely depressed. My DH told horseface (BM) to go up to the college and see what is going on with him. She did..... but I haven't heard how that went.

I wish my DH would tell the

I wish my DH would tell the kid to grow a set of balls and suck it up. I said something along those lines as well. But my DH was defending his poor, fragile flower of a son and "wants him to be happy." That's when I lost it and started yelling.

I agree with this. But to be

I agree with this. But to be suicidal over it? Barf.

Yes there is suicide in

Yes there is suicide in college. It is a problem, that is why a psychiatric hold is a good idea regardless, but odds are good he is just panicking. Overachievers always do. Got one of those myself and every 6 months, have to talk him down. Yesterday it was because he didn't do well on an exam that he probably got a B in. I have to talk calm and tell him it doesn't matter and I am sure he did better than he thought.

This kid, just needs to be told to suck it up and he will be fine and stop worrying so much. Life is too short. He will graduate with this degree and then he can panic, but just graduate.

Ewww! That sounds like my DH

Ewww! That sounds like my DH and my skids.

Because of it, my SS are overly concerned for their own safety. They are the type that would push YOU into an oncoming bus to save themselves. BUT, their parents did teach them that THEY are the most important people above all others. It makes me want to puke.

I told my DH that he raised two "victims" and that they would have faired much better in life if they would have taught the kids to be resilient.

To me over protecting these kids is teaching them all to be failures who can't thrive out in the world on their own Because, by golly, they are just too special and fragile.

OH Gawd! My skids are not

OH Gawd! My skids are not overachievers by any means. They are all F+ students. But I can remember when Chef was hovering and helicoptering over YSS at the time stb 7 simply walking a few steps and throwing a few scraps over the very tall kennel bars for the poor neglected neighbour's dog.

I'll never forget Chef glaring out the window watching every step (all eight of them) and when YSS came back, he nearly jumped for joy clapping and saying "GOOOOOOOD JOOOOOOB BUUUUUUUUUDDDDDDYYYYYYY!"

Funny thing is that YSS had heard the overpraise so many times, it became like background noise. He walked right past Chef's cheering routine just like Damien walked right past his mother after making a sandwich late at night in the kitchen.

LMAO! Oh Barf!

I've been with my DH for 13

I've been with my DH for 13 years. I know how my skids operate. His "crisis" is not real. He knows how to pull DH's heart strings. Trust me.

I would have him put on a 72

I would have him put on a 72 hour hold. Just call the school and they will do it. Say he is talking suicide. Honestly, they did it to my SD and I can say she has never pulled that stunt again.

Look, the kid needs to grow up. He needs to graduate and then try and do what he wants, but just because he is not passionate about this degree choice, doesn't mean he won't be perfectly happy doing something in this fields. Nothing is black and white.

If he has a perfect GPA, that says a lot about his personality and his OCD....Don't feed into it.

I am going to suggest this to

I am going to suggest this to my DH.

When my OSS says he is suicidal, he's not actively holding a razor to his wrists, etc. He just says he feels depressed and sometimes wants to kill himself.

I told my DH that I highly suspect his diet may have something to do with the depression. When you are not feeding your brain and body what it needs you lack energy and feel depressed.

My DH did talk to SS about his picky diet. But, you know the saying.... you can lead a horse to water......

Just let me give you an

Just let me give you an example of how manipulative my OSS is.

When my OSS was 16 and got his first car, I KNEW he would head down to the gay park in downtown Denver. I warned my DH that the kid was trolling for sex. I didn't tell him that it would be gay because I knew it would devastate my DH.

So, sure as shit. OSS gets his car and the VERY FIRST thing he did was drive to the gay park and try to hook up. He was several hours late and would not answer DH's calls or texts. Then finally when he knew he was busted, OSS says he was lost and scared. I knew it was BS. My dumbass DH told him not to be worried and that he would go get him so OSS could follow him home. My DH treated OSS like a scared little victim child INSTEAD of dishing out punishment and taking his car away. OSS knew how to behave to get out of trouble.

Well, I was right all along. OSS had been putting gay ads on Craig's List trying to meet older men. OSS had been sneaking around with a guy in his 30's. We called the cops and the cops said we couldn't do a thing about it because OSS lied about his age.

My OSS is devious and manipulative and knows how to play his gullible parents.