So, Steptalk has had to take a backseat for awhile, as my workload doubled when our accountant left at the beginning of the year. It's quiet here for another 15 minutes so I figured I'd take the opportunity to check in.

Looking back at my blogs, the last post I made regarding my steplife was over a year ago...08/26/13, just after my sweet MIL passed away.

A lot has happened this past year. DH & I are still married & as happy together as we've ever been. SIL is still being an ass-face about MIL's will, but did contact DH a month or so ago to let him know that she wants us & DH's stepdad to come over for Thanksgiving & Christmas this year. She wants us to "be a family again". (SIL never just wants to "be a FAMILY". She just bought a new house & wants to show it off.) She unblocked me & sent a friend request on FB the following day. I did accept her request, but not a word has been shared between us since.

DH injured his knee at work at the end of June. He filed a claim with Worker's Comp & 8 weeks later they denied it. We had to put his surgery through my insurance so that he could get back to work, as my income is just enough to pay our bills. He has a hearing for his Worker's Comp appeal on the 30th & his Dr will release him to return to work Nov 3rd (his 48th birthday).

DH being out of work leads us to the issue of CS. SD turned 18 in September. We were able to pay on time EVERY time up until the last 5 weeks before her birthday. It's frustrating. We'd been counting down the years, then the months & then the weeks until we'd FINALLY be rid of owing BM a red cent, & a month after we should have been done, we're still 5 weeks outstanding.

This brings us to the next update. DH simply told SD, with him being out of work we just did not have the money to send for the support, but if there was anything she needed we would make it work. It took a few conversations with SD & SS for the dirt to fly, but it finally came out. SD & SS both agreed & shared with DH, that the non-payment of CS wasn't causing them to go without anything they hadn't been going without. What it DID cause was an issue with BM. As they shared, she'd been using the CS to purchase street pills.

SS shared with DH, that for the past 3 years, he'd been holding BM's prescription pills in a box with a lock & when he left the house to go the store, to come stay with us, to go outside & cut the grass etc, he would take the key with him. He wore it around his neck. We thought it was his house key.

Evidently not long after his 18th birthday, BM ate too many pills & went crazy. The kids got scared & called the police. BM ended up in the hospital & she filled out some paperwork listing him as her medical POA. Since then, he's been dispensing her pills to her each day & it pisses her off. Eventually she got pissed enough she tore his room apart until she found them. She busted the lock on the box & went to town.

The kids both sleep with their bedroom doors locked now, as BM would come in yelling at 3am for them to get up for breakfast. She'll tell them she went to Bojangles & has breakfast ready for them. They know she hasn't been anywhere because they keep her keys.

They've taken video of her being stupid on pills. They have video of her pouring coffee into the cat's water bowl. They have video of her being irate & demanding more pills, & they've shown these to her when she's sobered up. No shame. No embarrassment. She just laughs. She really thinks it's funny.

They've called the police on her several times & when they do she takes off. They give the police a description of her & her vehicle & report that she is suicidal (she's threatened to run herself & them off the road) & that's the end of it.

There was one time SD had the keys to her vehicle so she couldn't go anywhere because she was so screwed up. The police showed up & they were going to take her because she was out of control. She told the kids that if she went to jail she'd hang herself & it would be their fault. She calmed down & the police left her there.

SS has talked with DH about having her committed, but it's a no-go because if she leaves, her live-in leaves & her stepdad would have to pay the bills. (They live next door.) He's made it clear that once that becomes his responsibility, BM won't be allowed back on the property again.

SS has stopped babysitting her. He's had enough & is washing his hands of it. I'm glad.

SS called last night. She got prescriptions from a new doctor 6 days ago. He gave her 120 10mg oxycodone. It's prescribed to take 1 pill 4 times a day. DH got 7mg oxycodone to take 3 times a day & it left him slobbering & loopy. He's 6' 4" & 310 lbs. BM is 5'9" & can't be 130 lbs. I can't IMAGINE what this does to her.

Anyway, SS called last night & told DH that of those 120 pills, she has 22 left. he said that her & the live-in bill-pay guy took off the other night & didn't come home until sometime after 1:30am. My guess is that they've sold them. I can't imagine that between the two of them they ate 98 of those pills. So, IF somebody monitors the remaining 22, she's got a 5-day supply remaining & can't get more for 3 more weeks, so she'll be out buying them off the street again. It makes no sense. She gets them free through medicaid. Why would they sell them & then have to pay to get more???

Even with all of this, there is also progress to report. As indicated above, communication between DH & the kids has made incredible progress. Granted, it's taken BM coming COMPLETELY unhinged for them to recognize that she isn't the sweet innocent devoted mother she's had them convinced she was & that DH isn't the awful, abusive, uncaring selfish monster she's claimed for years that he was.

SS is working through a temp service. BM managed to squander most of his first 3 paychecks "to help pay the electric bill". DH finally asked how much the bill was & how could it possibly take 3 of SS's weekly paychecks to pay an electric bill??? That stopped.

SD just started working FT at the mall. She's loving her time away from their trailer & away from her mom. She's loving the feeling of doing for herself & being able to control her own money & she's looking forward to being able to be independent.

We took them to a business college a few weeks ago. SS is ready & he's determined to get started. He's been working his ass off to get things done for registration so he can start in December. He's taken his placement test & he's got a schedule of classes. He's been hung up on the FAFSA, as BM has been lying about her tax filing from last year. She kept saying she couldn't get it because she was being audited. I kept telling SS, the school doesn't care if she's being audited. They just need the information. He finally talked to her first stepdad (he was the one filing her taxes) & he told SS that BM didn't file last year. That's why there's no information.

I can't think of any reason she'd lie to him about that, except that she doesn't want him to progress. She doesn't want him to do for himself. She wants him to always be there with her.

So, not only have we muddled through alienation that was severe enough to push SS to take DH to court to end visitation & cut any ordered communication. We pulled through a year of them refusing any communication or contact & we've made more progress than I ever imagined possible with them & now our relationships with them are 100x's better than their relationship with BM. They trust us & they love us.

Don't get me wrong. They still face challenges. They still love their mom & I look for that love to always be there. They know she's sick. They want to be there for her, but they're finally feeling the desire to make their own paths. It's still a struggle for them to just focus on making choices for themselves without considering how their choices will affect BM & what "could" or "might" happen to her.

2 weeks after DH's surgery, we had one of our dogs in to have a mammary mass removed. We opted out of having it sent for lab work afterward, as the vet feels quite certain it was malignant. We anticipate it will return at some point, but are thankful to see her feeling good & running & playing & enjoying life again. Until it returns, our focus is on enjoying each day with her & the other two.

As for DH & I, our dryer is shot & with winter coming, the clothesline isn't going to cut it, so we're looking for a cheap used dryer that will get us by until DH gets back to work. The baking element went out in the oven about a month ago, so we're down to stove-top cooking & whatever we can do with the broiler. 2 days after the heating element went out, so did the alternator in our only vehicle. DH strained his newly repaired knee replacing that on the side of the interstate, but last week began showing improvement again. (We were really worried about that one.)

Even with the challenges in getting the kids on their feet & despite the cluster of bumps DH & I have encountered, all-in-all things are looking up for us.