:jawdrop: :jawdrop:

He needs to march to BM's house, bitch slap her with the cute little organizer, and pull his balls from the mother of his chiiiiiiiiiildren's purse.

Wow.

"Because she is the mother of my children, I have to consider her feelings as well"
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

He said this to YOU!!!!??? WTH? I don't normally have hissy fits....or as DH calls them...(episodes) But this would make me have a great big one.

Now I am sure that he would be embarrassed to give it back to BM...but it would be because of the kids feelings NOT BM's. That just makes me sick for you.

If he will always have to consider the Feelings of the mother of his children, why aren't they together?

I think I would hand deliver it to BM myself and make it clear to her not to play with me.

I seriously can't even believe you are having a disagreement about this???? My DH would have showed me the planner and then we would have laughed our asses off at dumb ass BM and promptly thrown the damn thing in the fireplace.

"she's the mother of my children" Excuse me while I vomit my lunch up. I'd seriously kick my DH in the nuts if he said this. Popping out some kids, does not warrant adoration and glorification ESPECIALLY while flat out disrespecting the person who is wearing the wedding ring that you exchanged vows with.

Oh how I hate this line "Because she is the mother of my children"!!! It took me forever to break DH of using this stupid phrase. Burn the organizer she gave him.

Yep, that organizer would just "mysteriously" disappear and I would be all wide-eyed and innocent.

There is no being sly/sneaking/casually getting rid of this thing. This calls for a direct SHOWING to the man of HOW upset you are. Some men dont "get" feelings.. they don't take hints... you have to SHOW them.

Flick a bic.. dead in front of his face.. and burn the fucking thing right in front of him... starting with the page where she listed their old anniversary.

Do not raise your voice to him. You speak very quietly and advise him the next time he puts ANY womans feelings before yours, let alone some bitch he used to sleep with... and god HELP him if he ever allows ANY ex lay of his to disrespect you in your own home... and him support his old fuck buddy... you will file divorce papers so fast his head will spin... and will show him the HARD way that BM was "nice" in her fleecing of his finances.. that you will ensure he has to mortgage any pot he pisses in to give you half its value for the rest of his natural life.

You are not throwing a temper tantrum AT.ALL. I'm angry for you. If that Dh of yours is so concerned with Bm's feelings why did they divorce in the first place? I would have punched my Dh in the face if he said this to me. Your Dh shouldn't have accepted the gift in the first place. What an idiot.

Totally get why you're hurt, I would be too! Not so much over the stupid calendar itself - it's hardly DH's fault BM is a tactless idiot (at best) - but over his reaction.

I wouldn't send the thing back to BM. I think that gives her too much information about your mental state, you know? Letting her know it bothered you gives her the power to try to hurt you again. Better just to quietly burn it.

Besides, the real issue is your DH I think. (And I get that quitting smoking can make you volatile, truly. But he is a grown ass man and needs to get a grip and not use that as an excuse. To be fair, I dislike it equally when women - and I'm thinking of my SDs here - use "PMS" to excuse horrid behavior.) He had NO call getting angry with you. I think you guys need to revisit this - not so much a discussion about what to do with the calendar, but about his respect for you, your feelings, and your marriage.

Ask him:
- How he expected you to feel about a woman he slept with giving him gifts? Let alone a gift with their fucking anniversary listed as if it were something to celebrate!
- Does he believe that he has to consider her feelings? Or that her feelings are more important than yours? It is entirely possible to "consider her feelings" by just not telling her he burned the stupid thing - and then he's being considerate of YOU as well.

Ummmm. No. This would not happen. The ONE time BM gave DH a gift, she handed it to him and had him open it in front of SS, for sake of not upsetting SS (he was only 3 at the time, so YES I did understand and agree with him on that) he opened it, but then he followed her down the driveway, SS safe in the house with me. Told her to NEVER EVER pull that shit again and dumped the gift in the outside trash. That was the last time she gave him a gift.

I sincerely doubt my DH would have accepted anything from BM but assuming his brain relocated to his ass & he did, I would throw a major ass fit. I guarantee someone else would be putting him up til "the love of my life" divorced his ass for being more concerned about the feelings of the "mother of my children."

This makes me hurt for you! I don't know what I would do, but a slap across the face would be included. Along with his bed made up on the sofa. If he wants to hold BMs feelings in his mind and make choices based off of them...then he's not worth your time.

You are NOT over-reacting and YES, I would be so pissed!! I was pissed tonight when I discovered for the first time that DH has 5 pictures of SD in his wallet and only 1 of me and BD. I wanted to rip the 5 pictures to shreds...but I didn't of course. It took a lot of self control after SD had acted out tonight again and shit on all of us...it makes me wonder why DH wants her face as a reminder to him in his wallet every single day... I don't get it.

Yosemite......

Several years ago, my BM got upset that I was invited to a Birthday party for SDthen17 which was hosted at DH's house. We were currently engaged. We had been dating 6 years.

She demanded I leave. I replied that this wasn't her house, and only DH could ask me to leave. At that point, we both turn to DH to see where the chips would fall. He said I was invited by him and did not need to leave. Long story short, she punched me in the face and slammed my head into the refrigerator.

I called the police and had her arrested. She got a slap on the wrist and like 20 hours of community service.

This whole story is to point out that if you really want to go get all ghetto on her, so be it. It's not like much would happen to you from a legal standpoint. Have at her.

Oh, and kill the planner with fire.

O.M.G. O.M.G. I swear I have steam comin' outta my ears! Does your DH have a death wish?? Is he seriously insane???

I would burn that thing and send her the ashes or better still - ram it up your DH's ass and send him over to her.

Lord all mighty, I'd be livid if my SO did something so damned hurtful and stupid to me!! He'd be packing his shit and out the door so damned fast his balls'd be the size of peas!! Goddamn!!

DO NOT SEND IT BACK TO BM. If she is like the majority of the manipulative exes that we bitch about, she will LOVE knowing that she got under your skin and caused friction.

However, you DO make it disappear. And let your "D"H know in very quiet, icy cold and NO uncertain terms that you believe a marriage is between a man and a woman. Not a man, a woman, and the "bitch he used to sleep with" (TM just.his.wife) and if he doesn't learn that RIGHT NOW, he will have ANOTHER ex to deal with! You took vows with EACH OTHER...pretty sure that BM was nowhere's to be found when that was going on.