Hello,

This is my complex issue. I met my husband of 13 years in 1999. Well after his wife and the mother of his two children left him. His son that is now 32 continued to live with him and his daughter now 27 lived with her mom. His son grew up and got a great job and moved to another state. The daughter was turned against her Dad by my husband's ex-wife. After many years of trying to contact his daughter he gave up. Last year my husband's son got them back together. We were invited to a dinner that my step son put together and this included the ex-wife attending. This was the first time I had met her. It was awkward for my husband and of course his daughter. I am going to try to make this long story a short one. My husband started becoming distant to me. After a few months he came to me and started telling me I wasn't happy and neither was he. In December of last year his daughter graduated with a masters degree and he told me he was invited to attend her graduation but I wasn't becuase she wanted to see him one on one and try to work on their relationship. So I stayed home. One night I decided to check his phone and found a pic of him and his ex-wife on his phone that he had text to his son in another state. I was destroyed and confronted him. He said it was nothing that he had to do things in order to get his daughter back. I checked his phone records and found that him and his ex had been talking for 3 months. I was destroyed and ask him to move out and he would not. So on December 28th he said he wanted to work on his marriage. We went to counseling and he said that he had visited his ex wife on 5 or 6 occasions but nothing happened. I did not see any contact with his daughter on his cell phone records. Anyway we made a commitment to work on our marriage. We have spent thousands on counseling and it did help me a great deal, see things I had not seen before. Things I also needed to work on regarding myself. My problem now is we do see his step daughter on occasion the last dinner being in July and now since it's Christmas we are going to take her and her fiance to dinner tonight. I know she doesn't like me. I know that she also had something to do with getting her Mom and Dad back together. I finally told my therapist that I could not make her like me so I do not try anymore. I basically go and be pleasant to her. Over the last few days I have checked phone records again. I saw where my husband had called her and that's to be expected. I know her Mom is spending Christmas at her house. I saw 5 text back and forth between my husband and his daughter. I decided to check his phone to read the messages and they have been deleted. I mean how do I deal with all this. My husband has been very loving over the holidays. It is so difficult for me to trust him or anyone at this point. We have been married 13 years known each other almost 16. His ex-wife is not a good person. For the most part we have not heard from her over the years. In 2007 she did re-open a credit account that my husband canceled when they split and she charged over $24,000 on this account and we got left with the bill and had to get the police and bank involved to get it straightened out. So we didn't have to pay it just giving an example of what kind of person the ex is. The daughter is a teacher and seemed to be a good person but I can't trust her and I know she doesn't like me. She does call her Dad every couple of months.

How do I handle all of this? I mean I figure I go tonight be pleasant and get through it. It is just so hard.