keeping her life private

Does anyone else have a spouse that keeps everything to her self.. I have giving her access to my phone and email, and I keep finding she has different accounts out there. She is always on the phone and when you go by her she clicks out of the screen she is in and says she was just surfing the Internet

Pipedream's blog
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There is no reason for my

There is no reason for my husband and I to have access to each other's phones, email, Facebook, etc. No way would I ever give him access.

Regarding your wife shutting down her phone when you come by, maybe she feels like she wants privacy. For example, my husband doesn't know I post and read here. There's no reason for him to know.

^^^I agree with you

^^^I agree with you Raindancer ^^^
Hard to marry a man and deal with the damage that decades of living with a whore for a wife leaves behind...
Its not fair to have to be analyzed and judged and pay the price for something you never did and would NEVER do...

I posted this because my SO

I posted this because my SO always wants my email passwords and wants to go in my phone to look at stuff.. I don't really care I give them to her because I don't have anything to hide. Now my SO her phone never leaves her side. And I don't have her passwords for anything. It feels weird that she always wants my phone and goes in my email to just look. But is always hiding things when I come by.

Classic projection. She is

Classic projection. She is turning her guilt into blame in order to distance herself from something she has done. Next time she is on her phone ask to see it right then. Try to make her hand it over. You should learn all you need to know just from her reaction.

^^Bingo^^ If you share

^^Bingo^^ If you share passwords, BOTH share passwords ... Transparency.

I agree! Pipedream, ask for

I agree! Pipedream, ask for her phone in return and go through it, its so hard to believe that she demands your passwords but refuses to give you hers???? really??? huh, are you sure you don't have hers too? are you sure she hasn't also given you free access to all her accounts???

I prefer to have my H ask me

I prefer to have my H ask me if he needs to see something on my phone. I will hand it over if he doesn't trust me. Same with email, my iPod Touch and FB. He knows about ST but he leaves it alone because he knows it's my venting place.

Likewise, I don't snoop through his phone or email. He doesn't have FB. We have the passwords to our cells but I only use his with his permission.

I don't like him going through my purse. I don't like him checking my phone when it rings or looking at my texts that come in, not because I have something to hide. Because if it's not in my hand (expecting a call or texting back and forth with a friend), then I don't give two f**ks about who is trying to reach me until I have time to answer.

I don't look at his texts, unless his hands are full and he asks. If we're eating, talking or watching a movie....cells are a no-no. However I cut him slack on this if he's expecting a call from one of his clients with a time sensitive issue.

I have lived on my own for most of my adult life and I like my privacy. If I want to share something I will, but I have nothing at all to hide from him. I treat him the way I want to be treated in regards to privacy issues.

All that BS being said.......my cheating antenna went up when you described your situation. She wants full access to your life but refuses to give you the same courtesy? She either has huge trust issues or she is cheating on you. Or both.

dh and i are the same way,

dh and i are the same way, shaman! we have full access to eachother, but have no need or desire to use it.

and yes OP, if u're going to be 'open', so should she.

^^^Agree^^^^ Same with me and

^^^Agree^^^^
Same with me and DH! I have all his passwords and accounts (because him and BM had inappropriate boundaries for SO long) and I have given him all of mine to look at anytime to look at my accounts too...we keep things open only to help deal with BM and her demands to control our home and my DH.

Oh and personally, I strongly

Oh and personally, I strongly advise you cut her off at the knees and change all of the passwords to anything you given to her. No reason for you to be an open book when she's a locked up room full of issues.

funny part is I did ask her,

funny part is I did ask her, a few months ago and she freaked out about it. i dropped it and now it picked up again with the phone. i come in a room with her and she holds the phone away from seeing it and when you get close she turns it off

You asked her for all her

You asked her for all her passwords? I have a feeling she would share them with you...
I think she holds your passwords and checks up on you because you maintained inappropriate boundaries with BM...
You didn't chat with BM everyday did you?

It does sound suspicious, but

It does sound suspicious, but also just disrespectful. I've heard that if you tell someone you care about how their actions hurt or bother you, and they continue knowing it hurts you, you're with the wrong person. Just sayin...

She might be. I don't know

Did you just hand over the

Did you just hand over the account info? Or did she ask for it because you were getting to chummy with BM? Like to the point where BM was trying to have an emotional affair with you, and BM was running your life calling all the shots and when she told you it wasn't something she could cope with and she needed boundaries, did you listen and set boundaries? or did you ignore her feelings for 3 years?

Wow

Maybe she should find a

Maybe she should find a different man. Have at it

^^^agree ktq!...it just

^^^agree ktq!...it just doesn't solve anything to say such things... :?
It just adds insult to injury and starts to ramp up a big fight and stir the pot, not a way to facilitate open honest communication and loving support...

Very interesting comment. I

Very interesting comment. I would think we all are here under alias as you stated. So we are all doing the same here. Finding a web site to bitch or as you say vent. So is it ok one does the venting and not the other? I am happy there is a web site to come and bitch or again vent as you say. Where everyone can complain about there SO or family. How much information can one get where everyone is venting. Do problems get solved on this site? Maybe there should be a help web site where we don't cover the problem and maybe fix a problem. How many people tell the other the problem or just talk to different people?
I left a bad relationship the first time. I left with only my clothes, I was happy I did and made that decision. I am still happy I did. I started a new relationship. I am open and have nothing to hide. I went from nothing to having a good life, and rebuilt everything I had lost. I really don't think you have to have private website and keep things private if your truly In a good relationship. It builds a lot of resentment to find private sites, and keeping things private. I truly love my wife and am very happy with her. I don't think having her go though everything I owe to check on me. I would never do anything behind her back. I would though expect the same in return. Not to come into a room and have to hide everything she is doing. Maybe if she doesn't trust me then maybe she needs to find a different relationship where she feels more comfortable in.
Happy venting under your private website under a alias

"How many people tell the

"How many people tell the other the problem or just talk to different people?"

I tell DH my thoughts feelings and concerns, sometimes the same concerns over and over for years...

Just going on the site as you

Just going on the site as you do to vent. I guess that would make me a jerk. Good call. Under a alias.

Oh I am sure there are many

Oh I am sure there are many more. Look at you starting your own little blogs about it. Sounds like a drama train is rolling

Ya I sound like a bunch of

Ya I sound like a bunch of women sitting on this Web site venting about the SO

Why in the fuck didn't you

Why in the fuck didn't you just stay with your whore of an ex wife instead of trying to ruin someone else's life? You are a sorry excuse for a man, husband and father. Your lack of boundaries and balls makes you a sorry excuse of a human being. If you were doing your job as a husband and father instead of kissing your ex wives ass . . . Your wife would have nothing to bitch about. This is your fault plain and simple. Your attitude makes me seriously fear for your wives safety and you should seriously seek help for why you're such a sorry son of a bitch. I don't know how your wife sleeps with such a pussy of a man.

I did the same as her looking

I did the same as her looking into everything.. I have a right to look on line also. We can all can have private sites, and find places to vent. She has a choice. She doesn't have to stay with me if I am so terrible. . Sounds like half the people on this site hate there lives and should find a different relationship if all they do is bitch about there family and there So

Ya I guess having a private

Ya I guess having a private web sites under a alias isn't dishonest and sneaky. Whatever makes you feel better

You are here

keeping her life private

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