So this past weekend Dh had 2 text convo's with Bm where he was able to put her in her place and after years of Bm's abuse it was oh so nice to witness.

The first event was this:
Bm: My parents are going out of town and I'm house-sitting. I'll be at my house today but we'll be at my mom’s the next 2 weekends.

Dh: And?

Bm: Obviously Ss will need to be dropped off there...(when Dh showed me this I knew that she realized that the CO does not specify a drop off location for Ss-which I KNEW was going to come up)

Dh: Memorial Day is tomorrow and our CO states that whatever party has Ss the preceding weekend will keep him for that Monday, so Ss will be dropped off tomorrow at 4. In regards to you being at your moms, that's fine. (Dh couldn't really argue with her about the location because our lawyer for some reason advised him not to put a location for exchanges in the CO because she said it could hinder him if someone moved???... I have no idea how and I'm pretty pissed about not pushing the issue with the lawyer because I knew Bm would find that loop hole and run with it)

Bm: I didn't agree to that! Ss is sick and he needs to come home! (she didn't seem to have an issue with him coming over on Friday??? remember a few weekends back she said he was soooo sick and he needed to stay at her house so she asked to switch weekends? no no, she had a bbq planned with her family like they do every year but Bm obviously didn't read that part of the CO when she and Dh went to court. Sure she gets the next few memorial days because they will be the last weekend of the month but it was nice having him this year.

Dh: Well that isn't something that you needed to agree to... it's on page x of the court order.

Bm: as his mother I have the right to be concerned and you didn't give him his medication last weekend so I am concerned for the safety of my child! (The previous weekend dh missed a couple of Ss treatments for asthma-it's more so for preventative reasons but Bm had text Dh earlier that week trying to place blame on Dh for Ss getting "sick" but she then redacted what she said and said they told her at the doctor’s office that Ss had an ear infection that was unrelated to his asthma.)

Dh: Look, this isn't up for discussion, Ss will be home tomorrow @ 4. Have a nice Memorial Day.

Bm: As a mom, I have the right to be concerned and you never respond to any of my text messages about Ss and if I find out that he isn't getting his meds we're going to have a problem.

Dh: LOL, you have a right to be concerned? You weren't too concerned when you were smoking in the car with him all the time when he was a toddler even after I asked you repeatedly not to which is why he probably is having asthma issues now BUT that's another story. I admit, I did miss a couple of his treatments because we were out of town and I'm sorry about that but he's gotten all his treatments this weekend so there is no reason to be "concerned". Please stop texting me about this.

Bm: I'm not talking about the past and I can text you whenever I want about my son!

Yeah, Dh shouldn't have said anything about her smoking in the car with him when he was a kid BUT it was just too hard to resist because he's never been able to tell her ANYTHING about ANYTHING without her threatening to withhold visitation or flying off the handle in general but now that she isn't legally able to call him he can respond to her without having her flipping out with threats and blowing up his phone. In regards to the meds. Bm says he has asthma and so he has an inhaler to use when he coughs too much, he has an inhaler that he has to take 1x in the AM and 1x in the PM plus he's taking amoxicillin for the ear infection... She's wasn't concerned she was mad because her family had a bbq going on and she didn't realize Ss wouldn't be in attendance.

Theeeeennnn this happened on Monday:
Bm: Ss needs to dropped off @ xyz Pizza, we're having dinner and it's closer for you anyway (for the record, this pizza place was like 3 min away from her mom’s house which is where she was asking Ss to dropped off at.)

Dh: That's fine but please be aware that when we were in court, the judge and my lawyer made it very clear that these exchanges are to be made at our places of residences so I'm not really happy that you're trying to change that up now (Since court there hasn't been any issues with where Ss’s was being dropped off/picked up because they discussed in court that the exchanges would be at our houses but Bm obviously found the loop hole). I make sure that I am home at 4 every single time you've dropped Ss off because I respect yours and your husband’s time and schedules. (Dh included stepdad because he's usually the one that drops Ss off before he has to go to work). Please keep in mind that I can also change the location of where I am when Ss is dropped off and I really don’t want to start that game. All I'm asking for is consistency.

Bm: Fine, drop him off at my moms, I was just trying to help you out. and the paperwork doesn't say WHERE Ss needs to be dropped off/picked up. (confirmation that Bm found the loop hole).

Dh: I'm aware of what's in the CO and location wasn't added in there because I thought we could both be mature enough to understand that these exchanges would be at our residences in order to maintain consistency. How would you like it if I started asking you to drop Ss off at my mom’s? (MIL lives like 15 min further out than us). All I am asking is consistency, it's better for all of us, esp Ss.

Bm: I'm done talking with you! I'm so sick of you throwing this court order in my face all the time! until YOU are mature enough to co-parent with me, I’m done updating you about Ss. If you want to know how he's doing you can call him and ask him yourself! (...okay? isn't consistency regarding exchanges co-parenting??? lol.)

Dh: There is no reason to get upset. Like I said before, all I'm asking for is consistency, if you choose to not inform me of anything going on with our son, that's up to you.

Bm: Like I said in my original text I was trying to help you so you didn't have to go as far as moms (pfft, yeah thanks for trying to save us 3 min so that your dinner wasn't interrupted) but like I said I'm done with talking to you. you can ask Ss how he's doing yourself. BYE.

I have NO idea how/why Bm is under the impression that Dh isn't co-parenting with her? The whole point of exchange place is to avoid confusion... There shouldn't have to be a "where am I dropping Ss off" every weekend. That's stupid. I think she thought she could run with that loophole about the location and jerk Dh around that way she used to (remember the days when bm would text 5 min before we were to her house advising Dh to drop Ss off at a different location miles away in the opposite direction?) but then Dh made it very clear that he was aware that indeed a location wasn't in the CO but he had the ability to change those locations as well, which I'm sure her husband wouldn't be too happy about considering she's forcing him to most of the exchanges on her behalf before he has to be at work which is a good 20 min from our house... Don't think he'd appreciate having to drive 15 min farther to drop Ss off because his wife is an idiot. Sounds like someone is getting frustrated. I have to wonder if she ever regrets acting like an ass all those years which forced Dh to lawyer up and take her to court. Yeah, Dh shouldn't have fed into that drama as much as he did but he wanted to make it crystal clear that he wants the exchanges to remain at our places of address otherwise he has no issue changing it up as well... So we'll see what happens and if he'll need to eventually take her back to court...hopefully her husband is viewing these convo's between bm and Dh and talks some sense into her.

Nonetheless, It was just very nice to see Dh assert himself without the fear of Bm blocking his access to his son. It's been a LONG time coming and even though it may seem small to most people this is a HUGE thing for us... which I'm sure you guys can relate to.