BM has the steps in "counseling". They've been in it off an and on since the divorce. She therapist/counselor hops them to benefit her. One of the kids (I feel) has anger management issues & lack of self control. This one has been diagnosed as ADHD & is currently on medicine for it. I've been trying lately to work with him on keeping calm and thinking before he acts. Every time something happens after it's over I ask what happened or why did that happen? Bc you lost control of your emotions. Did you notice when you calmed down and focused whatever it was became easy for you or it worked out? Wasn't it much easier to resolve when you were calm as opposed to while you were having your tantrum. I don't feel like it's helping at all.
Tonight I made a cake. And they were all getting a slice of it and the other step kid said hey if you do it this way you won't spill it. And the ADHD one totally lost it on the sibling . I said hey calm down get yourself together. The fit continued and I said fine then go to ur room for 5 min so you can calm down and get yourself under control. That turned into no I'm going to eat my cake and I won't go to my room! I said then you won't have any tonihjt at all. DH came in and said go to ur room for 5. Then the kid was slamming stuff and screaming I want my cookies. So I waited till the fit had been over for about 30 min and I went to the room to talk even said I was gonna give cookies if we could talk about it. Nope no part of it and even tried to say that he didn't scream at me he asked me nicely if he could please have his cookies. I said if you are going not be truthful then no dessert. She his reply was I don't want the cookies. So I said fine and walked out .. Instantly started screaming I want my cookies .. Sorry dude no cookies

Any way. Should this not be something the counselor could help with? Or would that be a waste of time?