this child is a ticking time bomb....
oh yss(stb12).... this child has so many issues its not even funny.
every day is a struggle, he argues about EVERYTHING, and blames everyone else- never takes ownership of his feelings or responsibility for his actions. he acts like a three-yr old throwing massive temper tantrums from the time he walks in the door to the time his body shuts down for bed.
and apparently it's worse than i thought. seems he's also doing this in the mornings, according to dh. every day throughout the entire trip to school, it's "i hate school!!!!!! why were teachers even invented? i wish it'd burn to the ground!!"
add to this - he ALWAYS wants to build fires. well, not fires the RIGHT way. he is obsessed with flammable liquids, it's my opinion he just wants to see big angry flames flaring up. so wednesday, after stomping around looking for shit to break (yes, seriously. he even smashed the lighter trying to get it to explode...) him and dh get "into it" about the fire. yss starts one in the firepit. "yss, go get some smaller sticks. why are you looking there? go into the woods. yss! focus son, sticks. NO, not logs, just little sticks - like this one. NO you're NOT putting more lighter fluid on it. YSS. I SAID NO. because you feed a fire with wood, not lighter fluid. well, if you want it bigger, build it the right way and go get some sticks. YSS!! NO MORE LIGHTER FLUID!!!" and around and around and around. yss responds with every excuse in the world, even resorting to "well i guess i'm JUST STUUUUPIIIIDDDD"
eventually after going around in circles and burning himself twice, after dh goes inside yss comes and sits by me literally in a huff, complete w/ angry glares. but at least he's quiet and sitting in one spot. so after a few minutes of quiet, i say to him "yss i worry about you. what's got you so angry inside all the time?" he says "daddy wont let me use the lighter fluid!" "well, think about it... u were angry even before you started on the fire. what's that all about?" "no i wasnt!!! he wouldnt let me make the fire bigger!!!" *sigh* there's just no getting through to him, and he goes for the first available person to take the blame.
rinse, repeat.
lighter fluid is gone, so last night he goes for the gas can. of course, dh stops this. so after arguing around and around about it, he says "YOU NEVER LET ME DO AAANNYYYYYYTHIIIINGGGG!" and stomps off around the house to put the can back in the garage. or so we thought..... next thing you know, we hear a shriek and see a flaming gas can flung across the yard in a panic.
*sigh*
oh, and sometime through the course of the evening, dh tells me that when he picked yss up from school, he had to be escorted by one of his teachers. yup, acting up in class, wandering around during quiet reading time, etc... dh tells the teacher he was planning on asking for a few conferences anyway (including to ask some teachers to fill out the adhd assessment forms). we also discussed the possibility of finding one therapist to treat both dh AND yss, so he/she can 'compare notes' from dh session w/ a yss session. first of all, highly unlikely. second of all, there's no way in hell yss would open up to a therapist. remember, he owns up to NOTHING.
i just, idk. he's very much like an extremely angry Taz. this child needs so much help.
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no dear, he's stb12. but he
no dear, he's stb12. but he throws tantrums like a 3 y.o.
i edited above to clarify
oh definitely. i would bet
oh definitely. i would bet my life that he's also o.d.d., maaaaybe a bit on the autism spectrum. and i think the fire shit is a way of manifesting what he's feeling inside that he refuses to express any other way. it's a soothing release for him. which means he's a budding arsonist. no bueno....
He's going to end up in
He's going to end up in prison. Start in now convincing your DH that NO money goes to pay bail or attorney fees when he's an adult.
He does sound ADHD to me:-(
He does sound ADHD to me:-( Poor kid. Have you or DH checked out CHADD (Children and Adults with Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder)? They have a wealth of information and support on ADHD.
One thing I learned about ADHD is angry outbursts are needed to stimulate the frontal lobe in those affected. But not all. Depends on the severity of the affliction.
I hope SS gets the help he desperately needs.
((HUGS))
that's interesting to
that's interesting to know!
i'm add, inattentive, and my two brothers are adhd. li'l bro's been on meds, but big bro and i developed our own coping mechanisms. ss has no coping skills. unfortunately around here there's limited mental health resources and our insurance has few providers.
but something's gotta give before he hurts himself or others. it breaks my heart to imagine the turbulence going on inside his head.
Be sure you have fire
Be sure you have fire extinguishers in all parts of the house.
i'll need to get some. at
i'll need to get some. at least he's **never** unsupervised.
Um.....is he mean to animals
Um.....is he mean to animals and bedwetting, too?
That's the triad of sociopathy. Very scary.
cruelty to animals?
cruelty to animals? well...... kind of. he's actually an animal lover but sometimes does some mean shit (like trying to burn a fly's wings off). he also randomly gets pets, fawns all over them for a week or two, then neglects them (not food/water, but attention and affection). most end up dead fairly quickly, but not i dont think as a specific result of his actions. (dh says they probably will themselves to die! ha!)
bedwetting - nope, that was never an issue.
dh has made comments before that yss is a budding sociopath, but i honestly dont think so.
he's just a pain in the ass hyperactive kid who's been spoiled, coddled, never held responsible, and not taught correct behavior and coping skills. and this is what he's developed into... and left unchecked, he'd likely end up like W.O.B's ss16 aka ASS. but thankfully dh is trying to handle things.