O/T - wwwaaaaahhhhhh!!!!!!!!!

I know cooking is an art. Baking is a science.

I can cook up a storm. Dh wants me to try out for Chopped or that best home cooks in america show. But i cant effing BAKE!!!!

H3ll. I follow exact recipe instructions and my bread sets off the freaking smoke alarm. My biscuits taste good but the texture and appearance is way off.

WTF. My gravy is,according to kaos, better than nana's (and her fam has done gravy for centuries) but i cant make a freaking biscuit! Gaaaaahhhhhhh.....

Tuff Noogies's blog
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Why you yelling at me?????

Why you yelling at me????? Love love your biscuits and gravy.

my gravy kicks @$$. but u'd

my gravy kicks @$$. but u'd have to settle for Grands biscuits instead of homemade. but shoot, they ARE good, even ree drummond's husband prefers those!!

I HATE those shows. I love

I HATE those shows. I love cooking and baking - but the artificial time and ingredient crap just makes me crazy.

My chicken and dumplings are a work of art as is my gumbo. But each can easily take 2-3 days as I make everything from scratch and built layers of flavor in multiple steps. I'm really into how things taste - not presentation or how fast I can make something.

Just make ice cream..

I feel your pain. I would

I feel your pain.

I would describe myself as a decent home cook. I can make your standard meats and Italian marinara sauce. I am starting to make homemade soups and I can make jelly. I make great chicken parmesean and chicken pot pie.

I can bake some things. I can make pie crust from scratch. I can bake bread, biscuits, cobbler, cakes, cupcakes, pies, etc. But I can't bake cookies to save my life. I don't know why.

What altitude are you at? We

What altitude are you at? We are quite high and I had to get a cookbook that had adjusted amounts and baking times. It makes a difference.

lol i dont know what went

lol i dont know what went wrong w/ the bread i made last night. i followed the instructions exactly, setting timers and everything. when i took a bite, it turned into glue in my mouth. it had a pasty appearance, it didnt brown at all, so i brushed the top w/ butter and turned it on broil for 30 seconds (and yes, i put a timer even on that!) - THAT's when the smoke alarm went off!!! dh thought it was funny, butthead.

*sigh* the only things i CAN bake well are cassaroles, quiches, and box-mix desserts. was just trying for an easy artisan loaf, and i end up with a burn loaf of densly unflavorful yuckiness.

the new season of masterchef is starting, but i forgot about the whole living with strangers thing. maybe i'll take a chance at chopped when they do a home-cook episode or something. maybe....

thanks LF. i've thought

thanks LF. i've thought about getting one of those anyway. but i really dont think it's temp, the oven is a year old. maybe flour, but i did the spoon it out into the cup thing. the texture- every type of bread item i've ever tried to bake has always been off. i've kneaded longer, or less, i've also kneaded the exact # of times or minutes if specified.

and yeah, i know about the broil! that just pushed me over the edge last night. it wasnt too bad, the crust still woulda been edible, if the rest of the loaf didnt completely suck!

lets see if u see something

lets see if u see something here -

kroger brand active dry. flour is kroger brand AP. and yup, i proofed the yeast, it bubbled up very nicely and all baby-puke smelling.

3c flour, 1 1/4 oz dry yeast, 1 1/3c lukewarm water w/ some to be used for proofing, 1T shortening, 1/2t salt, 1/4t suger product for proofing (i used honey). mix until well combined, flip it out onto floured surface and knead until smooth and elastic. let rise 2 hrs (which it did beautifully), punch down and knead for 4 minutes, let rest for another hour. bake at 450 for 15 minutes, turn heat down to 350 and continue baking another 30-40 mins or until golden brown, should sound hollow when thumped.

with the exception of my failed browing attempt, i followed everything to a T. are u seeing anything 'off' with the recipe and instructions??

well $#it, LF. ok, lemme

well $#it, LF. ok, lemme pick your brain on biscuits -

flour, baking powder, cut in shortening until pea-sized, add enough water to work it. turn out onto floured board, knead, roll out and cut. hot oven, 10 mins or so.

that's what i do, but they always come out crumbly, sandy almost. am i underkneading? or over? need more fat? they taste fine, but flakiness continues to elude me.... grr.

hmmm, i'll look when i get

hmmm, i'll look when i get home. i've tried, too, doing both butter and crisco but they still came out the same.

no kneading, huh? i'll try that next time too.

I feel your pain, honey. I

I feel your pain, honey. I am an AWESOME cook, but I cannot bake to save my life.

I used to really want to be one of those awesome broads who could whip up a dessert, or homemade biscuits and shit like that. Nope. Not ever gonna happen and I have no idea why.

I know my limits, so now I buy that kind of stuff

wob that's exactly how i feel

wob that's exactly how i feel - "Not ever gonna happen and I have no idea why."

i can do most anything for cooking, even incredibly difficult meals. but i just cant get it right with even the MOST BASIC baking!

i'll try a few more times i'm sure. we do like canned biscuits and some of the nice breads at kroger, but it's so far out of the way anymore. i was really wanting bread dipped in oil/spices yesterday but was not about to drive over 30 miles round trip to get it. it just would be nice to have the ability to simply make it at home!