I think you know the answer. He cannot be trusted. He hasn't a compassionate bone in his body. He is only a fiance. Pack up and move on. There are good men out there. Some are childless and some have children who are well behaved and polite.

My heart cries for you. This is so awful. Not to mention his brats are still around. So cast him loose. Tell him you will make his decision for him. He can return to BM and do whatever he wants. You no longer have a dog in this fight because he is reprehensible, dishonest and a disgusting individual and you no longer need him or want him.

And sadly, get an STD check. Spend time mourning and finding your way forward.

I am so sorry about the loss of your son.

Are you still with DH? What are you doing to take care of yourself?

I am so sorry - mostly for the loss of your child. This man is not worth keeping. Yes it's painful as hell to be cheated on - but you will be so much better off with this piece of scum removed from your life totally. Just write him off - he's just a POS. Forget you ever knew him.

I'm so sorry for your loss and the circumstances surrounding it.

I hope you are in therapy. I really think it's important for you to work through the grief but also work through the feelings that the affair have left.

Will be thinking of you and wishing you strength.

You need to remove yourself from this toxic environment of people who don't have your best interest at heart. Believe me, I would word this a lot less nicely if you were not hurting so bad. Get out and don't look back. Do you have a parent , sibling or BFF you can stay with for a little bit? You need to have a soft place to fall right now. Do not try and hold this "relationship" together. It will kill your soul. My heart aches for you.

I'm so sorry for the loss of your son. Cyber {{hugs}} You will always hold him close in your heart.

Regarding this other nonsense? Don't waste your breath or another month of your life on snot-nosed Skids, a boyfriend who doesn't parent his own kids and expects you to be babysitter/nanny/nurse/sex partner and a BM - boyfriend combination who are just waiting for you to turn your head. No respect. No compassion. No morals. No values. Self-serving, self-centered, selfish people who breed and parent that way.

Your children do not deserve this as a model for their own relationships. This is soul-killing. You do not deserve this.

I am so so sorry for everything you are going through...... but WHY WHY WHY do you WANT to forgive this man who so egregiously violated all trust?

I have to assume your grief is blinding you to how insane this is. You both lost a child, and he decides to ease his pain by boinking his ex? Why would you want to be with a "man" who solves problems like that and makes those kinds of choices when life gets hard? Don't you see he will do this whenever disaster strikes?

I am so sorry for your loss. Simply heartbreaking. (((Hugs)))

I hope you find the strength to leave this man who was not only using you to watch his and his ex's kids, but then cheated on you with BM as you lost a child. This goes beyond betrayal and ruthlessness. Please get out. You and your children deserve better.

What a horrible thing to go through. Please post an update and tell us how you are doing. I agree with everyone here that it may be time to go stay with a relative or friend and clear your head. This man is toxic.

I am so sorry for your loss. How heartbreaking.

As far as your child's father? He has no heart. Get as far away from him as you can. Lean on family and friends heavily. They will be your rock. Please grieve and attend counseling sessions when you can.

It's appalling that there are such people in this world.

I find www.chumplady.com to be a great resource when you've been cheated on. It's Motto is "Leave a Cheater, Gain a Life." If I were you, I would read, read, read on that site.

What was her purpose in telling you? So you would break up with him so he'd go to her???

You don't need this a&&clowns in your life.