She lives in a tent
BM's dad let her stay with him for 3 days. She was "trying" to get in to a sober living house in his town. When he was helping her move her stuff in to his garage for storage, he apparently set a box down too carelessly, and she lost her shit. And took off. Apparently slept in her car that night somewhere near our house (her dad lives an hour away). My guess is the park up the street. I know she has slept in her car there a few times. I am also certain she got loaded while she was gone and won't get in to the sober house now because she won't be able to pee clean. So, the next day she called her dad for help again and he sent her packing... literally, with a tent and a canopy. Sent her up the street to a campground to live with her dogs in a tent.
Her SM told me that when BM was living with them as a child, she wasn't allowed to have any say at all. Her dad "protected" her and she wasn't allowed any input in anything that happened in her own home if it had to do with BM. No wonder she is such an entitled little ASSHOLE. Her daddy enabled her. This is a prime example of a HORRIBLE step situation turning out about as bad as it can get. Now look at her.
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It's funny because SO and I
It's funny because SO and I had this exact conversation. They are taught entitlement, lying and all sorts of disruptive behavior by BM. And my point was that SO needs to be more harsh to offset the damage in order to stop the cycle.
It's horrible that a parent willingly creates a child that will most definitely grow up to be a menace.
It's so true. We teach kids
It's so true. We teach kids to respect their grandparents, aunts, uncles, teachers... but STEP parents? Nope. You don't have to listen to them. You just LIVE IN THEIR HOUSE, and EAT THEIR FOOD. Why give kids a choice of which adults to respect? They should respect ALL of them! I am blessed that my DH has never had the philosophy of "that's my son, don't parent him". I wouldn't have put up with it.
So does this mean she's not
So does this mean she's not going to do the outpatient thing? I hope she still does that. They'll expect dirty urine in the beginning. A sober living place usually won't even take a person until they've been in some sort of treatment. It's too risky for everyone else in there that's trying to stay clean. It'll be good for her to not have people enabling, her having to figure out her own way.
I don't know if she still
I don't know if she still plans on going to outpatient. That facility is here in town and she certainly doesn't have the money to drive back and forth. She has a friend in the sober house. They have to be clean a certain amount of days, I guess to be able to get in. I can't believe they even let her visit there, she is very obviously NOT clean enough to be hanging out with people that are recently recovering. I don't know how all of that works. And SM didn't have time to give a lot of details. She isn't "allowed" to talk about BM (per BM's dad). **eyeroll**
She shouldn't have a friend
She shouldn't have a friend in there. Her friend won't stay sober, so long as she hangs out with BM. BM needs to cut all those "friends" out of her life. It's an inappropriate place for her, if she has a friend she used with in there. I hope she figures something out, for everyone's sake.
iluvcheese, I said the SAME
iluvcheese, I said the SAME thing!!! Agree 100%
Oh sweet Lord in heaven, can
Oh sweet Lord in heaven, can you imagine being a SM and having THAT show up on your doorstep looking for a place to live 20 years from now?
And being told that you
And being told that you cannot even talk about her and the mess that you help run around picking up after? (sm often seems to be at games and practices for SS and SS comes to visit them lots from bs's descriptions) I would be livid if I was told that.
SM is at EVERYTHING. She is
SM is at EVERYTHING. She is amazing. And... over 70 years old. She drives an hour each way at night to watch SS play. Alone.
No WAY!!! I don't know how
No WAY!!! I don't know how her dad and stepmom have stayed married. It's insane. BM's mom dropped her off on their doorstep when she was 3, she was homeless (apple doesn't fall far). SM has never been allowed to have input. And she was a BAD kid. They went out of town when she was a teenager and came home to their house THRASHED from a party. Condoms in THEIR bed. It was out of control. She was 13.
WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Right. She was in rehab for
Right. She was in rehab for meth at age 14.
Those poor dogs. I will take
Those poor dogs. I will take them. I am so glad your DH is filing the papers.
Robin, where are you located?
Robin, where are you located? If you are serious. She has asked a few times in the past for help finding them a home. I've never had anyone to offer.
wow. not surprising tho',
wow. not surprising tho', sadly.
i wouldnt go knocking her dogs too badly tho', a four-legged furbaby is sometimes the best, most appreciated creature in the world by a homeless individul. maybe they'll "take" to someone else at the campground. there are several "tent cities" around here, with a lot of residents having dogs that are well loved and cared for.
I've noticed that a lot of
I've noticed that a lot of the homeless in our areas have pets. And I get that. Animals don't judge, they love unconditionally, and they likely keep her warm at night.
My issue with the dogs right now is that she is using them as an excuse to not get clean. She can't have them at her dads, so she won't stay there. She can't have them at the house she was living at so she moved out. The REAL issue is, if she stays with her dad, she has to follow his rules. Same with the other place she was staying. Her dogs impose no rules on her, in their tent.
They went without water for 3
They went without water for 3 days.
oh i know, ladies, i was not
oh i know, ladies, i was not defending meth-addled bm - i was saying maybe they'll end up bonding with someone else at the campsite, finding themselves a new Person who appreciates their companionship.
Thanks Cocktail. It's been an
Thanks Cocktail. It's been an adventure, but we got it for sure!