Retrieving personal belongings
I left my bf of four years a couple of weeks ago. Things did not end terribly (meaning no one was nasty, agressive etc etc) although I could tell he was very hurt. I told him I would need to go back to retrieve my items & furniture. I asked him if giving him a day notice would be fine and he agreed.
That's how we left things.
I have tried contacting him about retrieving my items & he is not responding to my texts.
What should I do? Any suggestions? I figured I'd wait another few days & try to call him instead of texting but i have a feeling, he will not respond to my phone call either.
Oh & not sure if this makes a difference but i was living in his house. My name was not on the deed.
Thx ladies!
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If he's refusing to respond,
If he's refusing to respond, you call the police and tell them you're having trouble with an ex, you need to get your things, and you would like them there "for peacekeeping" so you can feel safe to get your things out of the house and ask them if they can arrange a time to meet you there.
Then text him, say, "I'll be there with the police on X date and time to get my belongings." and leave it.
Chances are, he played nice at first and his friends have now convinced him you're an evil b1tch/wh0re/etc and not to be nice and let you get your things. Hell, for all you know they've probably already thrown out your things.
I would send a registered
I would send a registered letter itemizing the things that you wish to pick up and a date that you wish to retrieve them. If you get no response, go to the police with copy of your letter and let them take it from there.
As a former police
As a former police dispatcher, I can say at my department, law enforcement would only do standby's if there was a history of violence. If there was no history of violence, they wanted you to go and attempt to get your belongings on your own and to call in for assistance if a disturbance occurred during that attempt.
Thx so much for the response
Thx so much for the response ladies. I really appreciate it.
I definitely don't want to involve the police since he has never been abusive in any way with me. He's not a bad dude.
In my mind, i can't understand why he'd be so difficult about this. His way of thinking was always, once it's over, it's over. You cut the cord right away.
As genius Jerry Seinfeld once said, "You should just do it like a Band-Aid- one motion...right off!!!!"
Ha! Anyways, that was always his mentality. So, why am i now having to deal with this? *sigh*
And LOL sueu2....are you kidding me? That would require wayyyyyy too much work on his part!!! Trust me!!! LOL!!!!
Thx again ladies. You guys are awesome.
Instead of asking, tell him
Instead of asking, tell him you will be there on X date at X time (pick a time when you know he is likely there in case he has changed the locks), then just show up. If he does not cooperate, then get a lawyer involved.
At this point since he is
At this point since he is being all Mr Avoidy Pants, I think she actually shouldn't give him a heads up. That will just mean he plan to not be there and she is still stuck.
She should go with no warning at at time that she knows he is generally going to be home and not likely to have to go somewhere (like don't go right before he has to be at work.).
If you were living in his
If you were living in his house you most likely have mail in your posession that was addressed to you. That means that you were living there and to "evict" you, he would probably have to go through certain legal steps to get you gone. Or at least that is what it was like in my state. My ex who moved out came back to get some things and things got ugly when he started trying to take things that he had not paid for that were mine. He attacked me and the cops were called. They said since he had mail delivered there that he had a right to be there. House in my name and no lease... did not matter.
I am not advocating barging in there, but surely as his ex you know his schedule. If I were you, I would just go to his house with a truck and a couple of (non-confrontational type) friends and say, "gee, hate to stop by on short notice but since you didn't answer my texts, I didn't have a choice. I'm going to go get my things now and I will be out of your hair".
You have tried to be polite and set things up, but that's not working. If he refuses your access to the house, you may just have to take him to small claims court.