SD from Hell! Even Lucifer quivers!
My SD is 18, I have been with my husband 3 years, married 10 months. SD is in love with her own father and sees me as the intruder. Shes stuck to his ass like a tick, whenever he gets up, she follows, even to the bathroom. She has no manners, talks to me like im pond scum and will shout stuff like I WISH U WOULD DIE at me when daddy isn't around. She lies to him, in front of me and when I call her out on a lie she will have such a tantrum and make me out to be the bad one. Shes lazy and fat, sits on her ass all the time and stuff her face with food. She left to go stay with her mom when her dad told her he is going to propose, all went great when she wasn't here, then she interfered in her mothers relationship and now was told to piss off cause shes not welcome there anymore. That means shes moving in with us and I feel like running! I hate her! I do not want to be in the same house as her. Daddy feel sorry for her cause shes obese and unpopular, he is totally enabling her in every way! I cant talk to him about her then he goes all defensive.
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Welcome from one saffer to
Welcome from one saffer to another. Is she still in matric?
NO!! She left school cause
NO!! She left school cause she failed THREE times! Shes constantly on her phone and never opens a book! She has the IQ of a brick! She is gonna be 40 and still living with daddy, I swear! I cant deal with it!
How long has she been out of
How long has she been out of school? I am quite surprised that her parents are allowing her to sit at home. Very uncommon here. She needs a plan to launch as well as technical matric or apprenticeship. Have you told your husband how you feel and that you would like a launch plan??
I would send her off to
I would send her off to Upington college....
hopefully she will catch a poor Karoo farmer and never come back
LOL as long as she doesn't
LOL as long as she doesn't apply for a financial management course
hair dresses - nail
hair dresses - nail technician....
Nail technology now costs
Nail technology now costs R18,000. That is just to do mani, pedi, gelish, acrylic and soak offs. Nail art costs another R5-6,000.
It's easy - tell Daddy she
It's easy - tell Daddy she did not approve the marriage, and yet he still married you, so why would she accept it now?
She can not move in again.....visit yes.... but that's that. She's of age to go out and find herself a job!!!
start locking up the food and every thing..... and disengage...
http://www.steptogether.org/disengaging.html
this is way I told you about this site, so I could give you this link lol.... live by it more then your wine..
Oh welcome
Hahahhahaha, daddy feels
Hahahhahaha, daddy feels sorry for her, that's why he will let her back in the house. I think if I tell him NO, he will tell me to leave!
remind him about certain
remind him about certain things happening last time you left
be clever woman.... simply explain to him how she acted when he married you, and how will it work now that you are married, never say NO straight out..... make him believe he said NO straight out, you just show the obvious out to him
'I cant talk to him about her
'I cant talk to him about her then he goes all defensive.'
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This is one of the hardest things to deal with and I honestly don't have a solution. The way I deal with it is to preface something I want to say with, "Now don't get all defensive or mad, but _______." It usually works but it's exhausting to feel as though you're walking on eggshells.
Good idea being that her SD
Good idea being that her SD yells such horrible things at her. :O
yes record record.....
yes record record.....
^^This^^ Actual evidence goes
^^This^^
Actual evidence goes a long way and is impossible for your DH to deny.
I had to do this with my SS, he was treating me horribly when DH wasn't around and then became a sweet little thing when DH was around. It was shocking to me how well he could act. During one of his rages against me I quietly recorded him on my phone and showed it to DH who then showed it to SS. SS denied it anyway. Ugg it was such a relief to have that video, I felt like I wasn't a total crazy person after that.
^^^^Agree. This would be a
^^^^Agree.
This would be a deal breaker for me. Your DH and BM have ruined their kid. If she moves in, she will NEVER leave and you will live a miserable existence. Essentially, you'd be living with an emotionally unstable special needs adult who hates you. Is that what you want for yourself?
This is not a problem with
This is not a problem with the SD.. it's your hubby. He needs to address this asap. It sounds like he will not address the issue. ?? maybe go for some counseling with the hubby..
you need to be involved in making decisions about who is living in your house and what goes on in your house. You are being disrespected by both the SD and your hubby.
Also I've dealt with the
Also I've dealt with the defensiveness you are speaking of. Not a good sign. Your husband needs to work with you on these issues.
Wow Roque, this is MY SD, and
Wow Roque, this is MY SD, and at the same age!!
She caused a multitude of problems with BM and her SO, so BM moved her in with us (a week to the day DH & I moved in together) and after some time, she started all the same crap with DH & I as she did with her mother and SF
She was jealous and insecure of the relationship between DH & I, threw temper tantrums, tried to force DH to dump me, and tried to destroy the relationship DH & I had
We tried everything with her...initially my DH was just like yours feeling bad for her because she was so unhappy, so overweight, so unpopular - wow your SD really does sound like mine!
I also felt sorry for her and really felt she needed our help and support more than our anger. I tried. Oh how I tried with her. DH tried. DH's parent's tried. Everyone kissed her ass, tried to build her up, tolerated unbelievable behavior
The only thing that eventually worked for me, and also after time with DH, was to disengage from her.
We stopped getting all worked up by her tactics, we stopped letting her control us
It isn't great to this day, but, SD's manipulation now only goes so far. She tried to force DH's hand, she lost miserably. She hasn't given up, but she no longer is able to dictate our moods like she once did
For my part, I no longer care much about what is going on with her. And she knows it.
It's too bad your SD is moving in with you. She will make your life miserable. Don't let her make you miserable once she moves in, but don't lose your cool. The best thing you can do is be happy and unruffled. But don't let her try to push you around. Have boundaries.