Disengagement Version 5.8

I have been watching Star Trek TNG (instead of working on uni assessments) and I am channeling Picard in a new bid to disengage from SD13. Every time something happens where I need to disengage, I heard the phrase "helm, disengage" in Picard's voice.

Disengaging is hard. It's so fucking hard to bite my tongue. I am absolutely shit at it and letting go of the "control". I am also well aware that most of the time I do not have an SK problem, I have an SO problem - which worries me as well.

This morning, there were still dishes from her from the past two days. I said nothing, loaded the dishwasher and started it. I am going to see how long it takes before he says anything to her, but most likely he will just do it for her. I wonder if telling him that those dishes are not mine is breaking the "disengagement" rules?

P.s. I thought 12 year olds were a pain in the ass. SD is now nearly 14 and she's just getting worse. Teenagers are unhygienic, snotty, self-centred brats. Fortunately, I only have the one.

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You are doing it wrong

You are doing it wrong Hon.....

Disengagement - you say nothing to the SD and you do nothing for her, it's her fathers responsibility...

Now if her dishes is dirty and all over, you simply say

DH can you please sort out your dirty dishes it's attracting bugs... (see still disengaged from SD.. but not from DH)
You keep on telling him to do things... it's your house too.

Eventually DH will get tired and say but it's not mine.. and you smile and say.. not mine either I do not care if it's yours or SD's I will not tolerate dirty dishes now sort it out.

Disengagement - you say

Disengagement - you say nothing to the SD and you do nothing for her, it's her fathers responsibility...

Yeah, I know which is why I didn't say anything to her about the dishes. And continue to not say anything.

I just wonder if actually telling DH that those are not my dishes is breaking the rules of disengagement.

No it's not... you would

No it's not... you would break the rules if you talk to SD about her dishes....

you are not telling SD to clear the dishes you are telling your husband, he's then responsible for cleaning it or getting it cleaned. It's perfectly okay to engage this way, cause the dirty dishes and messy house effects you, thus you have the right to speak up, but you address DH and not SD...

That's good to know. There's

That's good to know. There's SD13's crap on the dining table that has been there for nearly three weeks. I've mentioned it twice to him. He's mentioned it once to her. If it were my kid, I'd just chuck it all out. Unfortunately, that will only get them all pissed off at ME.

let them be pissed at you...

let them be pissed at you... you asked twice for it to be cleaned, they ignored it, now you simply trash it...

no biggy, and your answer to their rants....

I do not live like a pig, if you want to live like pigs - move out...

Its bloody hard to disengage!

Its bloody hard to disengage! I feel like bashing her head with a frying pan! And while im at it, get hubby against the head as well, maybe he wake the hell up! How long will i get in Africa for MURDER? hahahah

you can think it you can

you can think it you can imagine it... just do not do it.... you will sit for life (25years)

DH will never wake up, accept this and life will be easier....

disengage, you are a beginner lol, the more you ignore the less you see and the less it will bother you

That depends how many R100

That depends how many R100 notes you have and how high profile you are It takes time. Practice makes perfect I learnt.

It's so so so hard!!! And my

It's so so so hard!!!

And my SO doesn't get it either. He is oblivious and he doesn't understand disengaging (or why I'm doing it).

I freely admit that most of the time I have an issue with HIM, not necessarily her, as it's HIS reaction (or non-reaction) to whatever she is doing pisses me off.