Why would you let your kid be disrespectful?
When I pulled up to the house last night, SD was walking up the sidewalk and just stepping up onto the porch. She turned and watched me pull into the driveway as she fumbled for her door key. I parked, got my things and got the grocery bag out of the trunk, then walked up to the house. SD has already gone in.
But wait, the door was locked. And a large box (boot size) was on the porch in front of the door, and the mail in the box still.
So yeah, she had gone in and locked the door, not taken in the box she had to step around, nor gotten the mail out of the box.
Needless to say I was a bit irritated that she did that. But I didn't say anything to her. In the past I would've gone into her room and laid into her, then she would've run to SO crying that I was soo mean.
But not anymore. SO came home a half hour later, came into the kitchen where I was cooking, and he and I started chatting.
SD walked in to get something so I said, "Hi SD. Just curious, why did you lock me out?"
her reply, "oh I didn't see you."
Me - "you didn't see me pull into the driveway?" (she looked right at me when I was pulling in, but whatever)
her - "No"
Me - "ok, then why didn't you take the large box and mail in when you came in?"
her - "oh, ummm, oh I was trying to get out of the rain, you know"
Me - "it wasn't raining when I came home, the porch is covered anyway."
Then she shrugs and walks away.
Meanwhile, SO is right there and doesn't say a word. I get the fact he wasn't there to witness this, but he could have simply told her, "next time be sure to bring the package and mail in when you come into the house."
I am disengaged, and don't say much to her besides hello, goodbye, goodnight, the normal stuff. But when you start being disrespectful to me, it's on. Why SO doesn't see this, is beyond me.
UGHHH.....
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Comments
Lol, oh, believe me, I have
Lol, oh, believe me, I have thought to do that too. I don't take kindly to being disrespected like that.
I would do, and have done,
I would do, and have done, this.
Rude is never acceptable!!
In the past that's exactly
In the past that's exactly how I would have handled it, however SO gets super defensive when I confront her like that. I see what she's doing, but he is too blind to believe she does anything on purpose.
be careful with even nicely
be careful with even nicely confronting her about crap like this if you know your dh will do nothing about it. because every single time you initiate a conversation like this, it will reinforce her behavior, and it will reinforce to her that she can totally get away with disrespecting you not only on the sly but also right in front of dear old dad!!! yes i understand about addressing disrespect, but every time you do she gains more power and you become more powerless.
say and do the exact same things you would say and do if she were not present. if no one was home, you would have unlocked the door and picked up the box and mail yourself anyways. acting and thinking like this will take away her ammunition.
just my 2 cents!!!
I completely agree with you.
I completely agree with you.
No way. She's lost things in
No way. She's lost things in the past and tried to blame me, so no chance of me getting involved in her shit. She truly thinks she's smarter than I am, but she's got another thing coming.
Wow! I could not be treated
Wow! I could not be treated like that by two people that I live with. They are both disrespectful.
If you want to address things with your husband (and try to avoid an argument) I would go to him and say that on quite a few occasions sd has been rude and disrespectful to you and that you would like to address this because you feel like it will negatively impact on SD's future if she thinks that it is acceptable behavior to treat others that way. It also makes you feel unwelcome in your home (or some other thing about how it affects you). Tell him that you have tried a couple of different ways to address it (directly approaching her to correct something and also just ignoring it but discussing it with her later) and nothing seems to have changed her actions or her acknowledgment of what she is doing. Then ask him if he can think of anyways in which you and your husband could work together to help sd.
Yeah, if either SD had done
Yeah, if either SD had done this to me, I would not have done a thing to help them with dinner...no setting a place or cooking extra...I didn't see you there...sorry.
Seriously.
Oh man, that SD is rude. I
Oh man, that SD is rude. I read your profile - shes 13? Just getting started on the terrible teenager track. Good to disengage, because now it will be "she's just a teenager, they are ALL bad at this age" as her excuse that people (DH) will use. And you cant win. Best to ignore ignore ignore...because again, you cant win.
SD may be all of those
SD may be all of those things, but the one you should have the biggest beef with is your DH. This is definitely a marital issue.
This little girl needs a
This little girl needs a lesson in respect. I can't stand a disrespectful kid.
I would have a hard time not saying something as well.
There have been times I have come home from the store with tons of bags and walked in to find all the able bodied SS's sitting on their butts watching me try to get in the door. I drop the bags on the counter and tell them if they want to eat to go get the rest. If they ignore me, all hell breaks loose and I make sure they hear me.
If It gets to the point I even have to ASK them to help now, I boycott cooking for the evening and tell DH its all on him.
I decided a long time ago that DH will act quickly if he things refusing do act will cause him discomfort of any kind such as having to cook for himself, laundry or no between the sheets time.
I learned my lesson in my
I learned my lesson in my last blended failure - I will NOT stay with a man who doesn't parent his kids . Your DH needs to call out his kids crappy behavior - being disrespectful should not be tolerated.
ah the famous teen girl
ah the famous teen girl game.... she thinks she gotten away with it... now play it back...
leave her laundry, Oh I did not see it, do not dish up for her... Oh I did not see you.... you catch my stance on this
Aergia dared once playing that Oh I did not see you.... think she still regrets it }:)