So Flippin' Behind in The Bills/Disabled DH just doesn't get it.
I am so stressed right now. Being the only one bringing in any substantial money; and being the primary wage earner is NOT how I envisioned my 50s. But here we are.
I have a 15 year old SS who packs away food like two or three grown men. My DH, while working hard on his novels, games, fantasy universe, etc...isn't making any sales, because we can't afford to send him to the conventions or to market properly. I can't keep funneling money to his business when I can barely pay our bills. Which depresses him. Which depresses me.
So; since this is the summer break; I am supposed to be searching for scholarships to fund my college eduction. Instead...I seem to be taking on micro jobs on the internet to make $5 here; $2 there to try and get some extra cash.
I can't donate plasma because my first husband exposed me to Hep C. (I Do NOT have Hep C; but I carry the Antibody). Lovely, huh.
Meanwhile, SS15, asks for special stuff all the time; because, frankly he is spoiled.
Sorry. Just a vent; because I am drowning.
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((hugs)) I feel you sweetie.
((hugs)) I feel you sweetie. Being the only income in my home right now I am feeling very pressured and am struggling at times to keep my head above water.
{{{{Hugs}}}} I can relate,
{{{{Hugs}}}} I can relate, too.
SS can go out and get a
SS can go out and get a freaking job bagging groceries if he wants extra stuff. Bills comes first, food shelter, utilities. Both of my SS's eat a lot as well and all they want is junk food but guess what we buy junk food and all of the groceries at the beginning of the week which is enough to last the whole week and they were told if they run out of junk food that is their problem and that they will have to learn to live without it if they can't make it last a week. Our grocery bill alone will double this month so we have to budget. I know that is hard for kids to understand or grasp but, if you don't have the money then you don't have the money.
Pecan.......what in the heck
Pecan.......what in the heck are you doing?
DH has you so sucked into his bs that you cant see the forest thru the trees. Stop trying to find more work. Start looking for a 1bedroom place for you to go.
(((HUGS)))
How much does DH and SS get from ssdi each per month?
Do you have bio minors (NOT SS) that are yours at home?
To answer everyone's
To answer everyone's questions. Yes He gets SSDI. He pays me a flat amount for household expenses every month and then uses the rest to pay his own credit card/medical bills and whatever fun stuff he wants to do.
This month he had a huge unexpected bill come through that mean the flat amount he gave me had to be reduced....which put me in a kerfuffle.
Whenever I ask him about getting a job; he mentions how hard he is working on the writing/creating projects. Which is his. I see the progress. I see the results. But writing novel after novel and creating game after game doesn't do any good if no one is buying them.
"I hate those micro jobs. They are so boring. I don't want to do data entry." I hear it all the time. I get tired. When I get tired I shut down. I am shutting down; when it comes to talking with him about money and his help or lack of.
He keeps looking toward November when his youngest daughter will finally be 19 (she already graduated high school and has a baby...but still isn't considered grown by Nebraska standards). Finally she will be out of the CS zone. And then he will have about 500 extra money...in that there will be no CS and SS15 will get additional money from the Disability stipend from DH. (It's all confusing)
Still. That's a long way away when you are drowing now.
Why does SS15 get the
Why does SS15 get the disability stipend - I hope DH doesn't hand him the $ ?
Your DH needs to man up and grow up and do everything he can to support his portion of the household.
I wouldn't stay with a man who short changes his obligations to the household and still feels he deserves fun money .
Wait, explain the dependent
Wait, explain the dependent SSDI benefits again?
My kids received that when my first DH was disabled prior to his death. They EACH received 25% of what his monthly gross pay had been prior to being deemed disabled. So I can understand why his DD isn't receiving it, as it stops at 18 or high school graduation. But where does his son's SSDI go?
Guess I'm just confused because each child got their own benefit and one didn't affect the other (now with the death benefits, my DD has aged out but my son continues to receive the same amount he did previously, and will continue to for one more year).
.... save your money, buy
}:) .... save your money, buy basic foods and lock it up, sorry SS if you want to eat special stuff find a job...
we can't afford it anymore,
If you are paying for the internet, cut it, you can't afford it anymore, DH should be paying for it, and well he can mow lawns can't he... or clean pools... he can supervise while SS does the actual work...
I feel your pain. My first
I feel your pain. My first husband would get a job but couldn't keep it.. so I was intermittently the only wage earner. I was pretty stalwart when I told him we wouldn't obligate ourselves to any more payment than I could earn alone, but it sucked when I was the only person contributing.
Even now with my current situation, my DH was let go last year when his cancer treatment recovery went beyond his company FMLA leave period. He had some disability for a while, but hasn't worked (for money) since December of last year. He is working on refurbishing a boat he is planning on using for his business right now, but obviously that is a money drain right now. We had refinanced a piece of real estate we owned to fund that, but unfortunately, things are taking longer than they should have... so we are in a tight spot.
So, to say that I am frustrated too is an understatement. Am I a bit resentful that he is following a dream while I am supporting us? yes.. a little. I mean, he is working very hard and this isn't some pipe dream business.. He has a great opportunity to start offering excursions in a market with no current competition and lots of tourism. He has done this before with this exact boat. It's a really good opportunity, but cash flow is becoming a problem. We really don't want to borrow money and in any case, you can't borrow on future what if revenue.. and he currently isn't working. If he stopped and got a job, he would likely lose the opportunity in the town. So, we have a few irons in the fire, but you can't MAKE stuff happen. (a few pieces of real estate for sale and sale of timber off a tract of land we own)
So, I get the frustration of being the only "responsible adult". I also understand how hard it is to tell someone you love that their dream is starting to have negative impacts on your life. I guess only you can truly gauge whether his hobby is truly able to become a money maker or whether it is something that he needs to compartmentalize in his life as a hobby and look for a more certain income stream beyond his SSI.
I don't have any easy answers for you.. or me for that matter. but, I do understand how frustrating it is. Please try to take care of yourself too.