No, it wouldn’t be rude. Your supervisor is being a creep and unprofessional.

If it doesn’t pertain to the job you’re doing, it’s not his business to know more about your personal life, and I’d tell him just that if I were you.

Is the question about you or your co-workers? Stepping in on their behalf is over-stepping. They are able to decide how they want to communicate. Unless this is about you, and you noted in your post you simply don't answer, I would stay out of directing the actions of others.

I too believe in keeping family/work separate.

Dani, can you give an example of a personal question he asked? If the personal question is, "Did you do anything fun over the weekend?" as opposed to "How long have you been married?" I might cut him some slack (if its a weekend-type question). He might just be trying to get to know you/make small talk since you are new.

I also had coworkers who were friendly and talkative but VERY tight-lipped about their own personal lives. After awhile, I learned they were gay and had spouses/partners they were not willing to open up about unless they felt they would be accepted by others.

I also wanted to add that if the questions are indeed intrusive and you don't like them, you can always respond with my personal favorite verbal stop sign which is, "Why do you ask?" That usually shuts people up.

Even if it’s meant to be small talk, I think asking those specific personal questions are a bit odd, considering he has blatantly said “You won’t know any of my business”.

I’d be answering zero, zilch, nada questions. I like the response “Who wants to know?”

It is one thing to ask simple Pleasantries

HOW was your weekend/

Isnt this beautiful weather we are having?
IS there anything for your department you believe needs my attention?

Personal questions beyond that is crossing the line. HE already knows if your married, heck all he has to do is check HR.

I like that "TOO PERSONAL of a question",

Frankly I might report him AFTER this first hint IF he does it again because questions should NOT make you feel uncomfortable.
You could pull a dr. laura---similar situation by a caller. She told the caller to bring a note book around and each time he said something out of line SHE was to right it down, right in front of dude. 'WHY are you taking notes Ms. So and so? WELL so when I go to HR I can repeat to them what you are saying to me, that is why"

DUDE stopped.

I'm always skeptical of HR, but if you know someone in HR who you feel that you can trust, you might say something.

Your supervisor's behavior seems to be overstepping. It almost seems as though he may be pumping people for information to use it against them later. This could be colored by my own experience with manipulative supervisors, but if he's not a sharer, it's definitely odd that he's asking so many personal questions.

Never go to HR. They cannot and will not ever help you, and they always make things worse.

Just share something superficial, non specific and vague. If he really wants to know about your personal life talk about something annoying like your favorite house plant or *Mr Mittens.* Had a co worker i loved to work with but he (not kidding) had a framed pic of his cat on his desk and would always report on Mr Mittens's latest adventures. It was cute at first but every fricking day got old real fast and I love cats. You could also go the route of oversharing about your *female problems* that'll scare any man away.

You do not have to tell him anything that you do not want to...

If he asks you oh what did you do the week-end - smile and say this and that...

if he does not get the message keep on answering with nothing or change the subject...

Being in HR, it's fairly common practice for managers/supervisors to want to know their staff a little more personally... it helps them tailor their management style to the style of the individual staff member.

One of the big leadership qualities in being considered a good leader, is to know your people.

It's common around here for managers/supervisors to know general things like whether we're married, dating, have kids, planning a trip... because it's a friendly atmosphere - in the sens that if you mention to your supervisor that you have to leave to take your child to the doctor's, they'll follow up and ask as to their welfare a day, two days later... or offer you to work from home so you can be there...

You have the option, however, of saying things like "why do you ask?" which usually does kind of give the message that you don't really want to answer... managers usually pick up on that, if they're a good manager... it tells them that you're a very private, yet direct, person and that you don't like to mix your work life with your family life. The flip side of that, is that without knowing anything about your home life, they cannot do things that might help make your personal homelife/worklife more balanced in a way that works for you.

I would chalk it up to just getting to know you... you did just start... it's more important for him to know how you are than for you to know how he is, business relationship wise - you work for him, not he for you. You might find he eventually shares with you some things... who knows. I'd sit on it for a while. You don't want to be labeled the office cold-fish.... I mean, the people you work with are the people you spend the most of your time with. People who work full time, end up spending more time with their coworkers than their own families... I'd be wary about putting any hard stop boundaries until you've gotten to know the reasons behind their actions.

That's just me.

Since it is your supervisor...this is kind of a sensitive area. You don't want to alienate yourself or cause hard feelings with the person who may decide what your job entails.. rasises.. bonuses etc.

That being said, if the person has explicitly stated "I do not discuss my personal life" then questions that go beyond the typical pleasantries of "how was your weekend" or "have any plans for the holidays" would seem to be in a territory that they themselves have said they don't want to go.

If the supervisor persists with asking you questions you find too probing, and isn't deterred by your reluctance to answer.. you could always say with a hint of confusion in your voice that "I'm sorry, I might be confused, but I thought you preferred if we didn't discuss our personal lives at work."

Hmmm. What type of personal questions is he asking that offend you so much? I mean…is he/she asking about your sex life? Or just question to get to know you?

I am a manger and I know a lot about my employees personal lives. They know some about me but not near as a much as I know about them.

As a manager/supervisor, you just can’t let the employee too far into your personal life and for good reason. You may have to reprimand or fire that employee and you do not want them to know TOO much about you.

If he/she is asking TOTALLY inappropriate question about your sex life ect, turn them into HR. If they are just asking “get to know you” questions, just let it go.