Update to "Who's Bm is this"

In case you missed the first blog about my DS20's new "girlfriend" here's the link. https://www.steptalk.org/node/242181

So I though everything was going good. DS stayed here since the wreck, spent thanksgiving here, Saturday DH let him use his car to take DD (his twin who he is also a home health aide for) to run her errands and do what she needed around her apartment so he could get in some home health hours with her. He goes by girlfriend's house and picks up all his clothes while she's at work. Goes to his apartment with his sister and brings back all the stuff he has of her's here. All weekend he kinda blows girlfriend off says she's getting on his nerves and he is thinking about breaking up with her. Yay!!!! It was looking hopeful.

Until yesterday, first he starts telling me he needs to bring her the baby bath that he brought back from his apartment. I said fine take it to her work it's been in your apartment a week and now my house for a days so she's not that worried about it. I refused to give him my car to run around. I drop him off at work (he didn't bother taking the baby bath) and of course she's waiting in the parking lot. I got up this morning (he works evening/night shift) he was here sleeping. I went to work and a couple hours later DD asked me if I had seen girlfriend's snapchat. I hadn't and I guess she removed me so DD screenshot and sends it too me. Seems girlfriend found someone to pick them up and he's riding around with her. I get home from work. And baby bath is still here but all his stuff is gone. Guess we see what their priorities are and it's not the baby's needs!!!

He's at work so I sent him a text that I guess he had left since all his stuff was gone. If he was staying here then he was staying here and he would not be flipping back and forth between my house and her apartment. Also if he wasn't staying here he would not have access to our cars. He would not be using them to get to his home health job or his Reserves training. So basically he's on his own. He has an apartment next town over with his twin opposite way of the girlfriends and not the town he works in. He's supposed to be looking for a job out there but doesn't look like he is now. No idea what's going to happen. DD already told him the girlfriend was not allowed to live with them. DD has cerebral palsy and can walk but falls very easily. Last time girlfriend was over she was very messy and even left dirty diapers all over the living room. DD is a clean freak plus they kept leaving the baby with dd!!! How do you leave a 4 month old with a person who can not physically carry her????

Well see what DS says when he goes to lunch and sees my messages. She lives in government housing and tried to say he was allowed to be there 3 days then had to leave for a few days before he stayed again. I bet they were hoping he could flip back and forth between my house and her's. Not going to happen! Wanna bet she's already taken off that birth control patch and will be knocked up soon?

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It's so hard to watch your

It's so hard to watch your kids be in a trainwreck of a relationship w/someone who is not good for them and clearly does not have their best interest in mind. I'm going through this w/my daughter whose bf just got thrown in jail. I said my piece about the situation to her but then had to step back and shut up. It's so hard because I know the heartbreak this relationship will cause her. You're right to set boundaries so as not to enable the dysfunctional situation that will only get worse.

I guess he really needs to fully be with her to get a taste of what life w/her is like. When he was in the wreck you came through for him, she didn't. Step back and let him man up if he really wants this woman and her semi-load of baggage. If he has a (non life threatening) emergency and calls you direct him to his gf, his partner in life, his support and rock. Our kids have to learn their own painful lessons. What do we know right?

Your daughter needs to be firm that the baby is not to be left alone w/her. If there was an emergency that required quick action you daughter may not be able to respond.

I bet you can see the train

I bet you can see the train wreck coming. The pu@@y is a powerful thing. Just hope she don't get pregnant. Where are her family and the baby's daddy in all this mess? They'd probably love your son to take this baggage on.

So my son refuses to talk to

So my son refuses to talk to me now but the girlfriend wants to message me saying my son wants to thank me for all I did for them when his car was wrecked :? . I blocked her. If my son wants to talk to me then he will not through her. Then he tells his twin he left his dress blues and some cups here so he can't give me my key back. Um no! I'm letting him keep the key because I do not trust that girl! And if he needs something out of my house he will need to be a man and call me. DH is pissed said that he had told my son before this girl was bad news. And he warned him when he got his apartment he would not be moving in and out. Then we let him move back in so he could get to work. Dh was letting him use his car and now he wants to be a jerk and move out while we're at work without saying a word. DH was mad and said it was very disrespectful and DS will not be coming and going getting stuff out of the house. I agree. Pretty sure DH is changing the house alarm code tonight. I agree. I don't want to worry about the girl having access to my house when we're at work.

Oh dear - why are these young

Oh dear - why are these young guys thinking with their hormones only... dammit I get so angry lol....

that girl must know her stuff to keep her hold over your son

This story is shocking. She

This story is shocking. She has red flags waving in your sons face, yet he keeps pursuing this. He'll eventually see the light, hopefully sooner than later. Are there any decent girls in this town!? He must see some good girls in town and realize they're night and day different from this crazy girl!

Reading this makes me sad...

Reading this makes me sad... ugh she's going to be knocked up soon.

Oh crikey! I am so sorry. I

Oh crikey! I am so sorry. I think you know that if he doesn't dump her soon, this is a disaster waiting to happen. I think its sad that even with an adult child we can not grab them, spank them and lock them in the cupboard until they come to their senses. You can not do this with your son, you can only tell him how you feel, warn him of the dangers if he is talking to you, and let him live his life. I hope he doesn't get this girl pregnant because then it is game over.

Please let your son know that he can not take the baby around to his twin sister. That is crazy and irresponsible.

And today my son is refusing

And today my son is refusing to give the key back to our house. He told his twin he still has stuff here and wants to come while I'm at work but I refuse to allow that girl to have free access to my house while no one is home. Guess I'll have to change the alarm codes so we'll know if they try to come in.