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PORN

amylynn411's picture

Yup I said it...PORN...Yikes! My husbands ex call and shared that she busted my 11 year old SS watching porn on his phone....WHAT! How old is normal for this? He also is obsessing over a girl sending her text messages like "Im going to sneak out at night to see you", "I love you and I will buy you things". ETC.... and this girl is not interested. Thoughts anyone? I think this is extreme behavior...am I wrong?

Comments

DaizyDuke's picture

Pfft.. that's nothing. BM2 told DH she started giving SS19 condoms when he was 10. And yes, SS was "dating" girls at age 10. DH hated it, told everyone so, refused to take SS to movies etc with girls, but didn't matter, because BM would do it and said he was just being a "normal kid"

I saw a text message from SS10 to some girl that was his "girlfriend" that said "why didn't you answer my text you whore?" Again, just your run of the mill "normal" 10 year old behavior! (eye roll)

mommadukes2015's picture

It's not abnormal for pubescent and prepubescent children to be curious about sex and sexuality. I would be concerned if the genre of the porn he was watching was sadomasochistic, or inappropriate due to the age of the persons portrayed in the film. There's lots of types of porn out there and I would want to know what my kid was looking at (I also wrote my capstone on the impact of pornography on femininity in modern society, so typical porn doesn't make me uncomfortable). What I would be more concerned about is the texts to the girl who isn't interested. I would take this opportunity to explain to him strong boundaries and what is appropriate and what isn't and most importantly WHY this is important.

It is important that we raise our children to respect their bodies and the bodies of others. This is an opportunity, take it and help him grow from it.

Peridwen's picture

^this 100% this. I was around the same age when I started ‘stealing’ my mom’s romance novels. (Since I prefer erotica to visual porn, I would equate the two in this situation) I believe in abstinence outside of marriage due to faith, but find it is critically important to talk to kids about it in a safe, age appropriate way. I was a virgin until marriage by choice, but that doesn’t mean I was ignorant. Nor is my sex life with DH vanilla... And I feel like I owe a lot of that to my mom being open about such things. She would point out certain exaggerations from the books I was reading, talked about safe practices, and made sure I absolutely understood the science of procreation and preventing it.

WagiMorri's picture

It's pretty normal, which is why I laugh at parents who think keeping sex education from their children is going to HELP them...

GhostWhoCooksDinner's picture

An 11 year old watching porn? I don't think that's super unusual. Kids that age are curious, and it you can literally type in a sex-related word an access porn on any device. That being said, that doesn't mean he SHOULD. His internet use needs to be strictly monitored from now on. If he can't be trusted on his phone, then guess what? No more phone. There's some pretty disturbing stuff out there that could warp an older person's mind, much less an 11-year-old's.

As far as the obsessing over the girl, um, no. One of the parents needs to have a talk with that boy before he gets himself into trouble. If the girl's not interested (and IMHO no girl that age should be) he needs to learn to take no for an answer. If he can't learn to handle "no," that doesn't bode well.

All just IMHO, of course.

DaizyDuke's picture

I remember when I was in 7th grade.. so like 12? I went to camp for a week during the summer. Had a great time, met a kid there who I hit it off with in girl crush kind of way.. but nothing like kissing, groping etc. We exchanged addresses and he started sending me letters. Oh boy. Those letters had words and phrases and such in them that I had never heard before. I think I wrote him once, just the average run of the mill conversation letter and that was it. For whatever reason I squirreled the letters he sent me away and my mother found them and flipped shit. She assumed that I was engaging in the same talk that he was she lost her mind. I honestly can't blame her. Maybe I'd old school, but no, I think 11 is too young to be obsessed with girls/sex etc. Interested is one thing, but watching porn and texting girls telling them you are sneaking out is quite another.

still learning's picture

11 is too young for unfettered access to a smart phone w/all the porn in the world at his fingertips. Also too young to be texting girls. Take away his phone and let him have one when he is old enough to pay for it himself.

notsobradybunch's picture

I don't think its too crazy. BS had some girls at that age texting him photos of themselves wearing bikinis. My knee jerk reaction was that was over the top. LOL I thought Where are their Mothers??? These kids see so much at such an early age.

BSgoinon's picture

sadly, that's when it starts. All depends on the kid... some are interested earlier than others. It's all about limiting access to this stuff. My kids phones have parental blocks on the internet.

ProbablyAlreadyInsane's picture

Flip phones seem like a fantastic option... With only DH and I's number programed in... And no internet.. LMAO

lieutenant_dad's picture

I was about that age (maybe a little younger) when I first started watching porn. Granted, it was a combo of Skin-emax, garbled channels in the far yonders of my parents' satellite channels, and my dad's Playboy - not hardcore by any means. I was 17 before I kissed a boy or had sex, and I ended up marrying him (mistake). Early watching didn't seem to have a negative impact on me, but I also had the fear of God placed in me by my mother if I ever got pregnant as a teen.

The porn would bother me less than the texting. Someone needs to sit down with this kid and explain consent and harassment. I don't think he is doing anything wrong as I think he's stumbling through his newfound hormones, but that's why now is the time to have this discussion.

Acratopotes's picture

yeah kids are curious and they will watch.... and that's why there's things like parental control blocks even for phones...

BM simply should've explained to SS some things and tell him to say that to girls can get you in trouble and she should've put some control on his phone, why she made a whole fuss about it is beyond me. Yes she could've told DH, I've add parental control to SS phone cause he's getting curious and visits some sites, when he visits please check his internet usage etc.

boys will be boys, girls will be girls, they do it out of curiosity not because they are perverts.. the way the parents handle it will determine the out come one day