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Ninji's picture

Submitted by Ninji on Thu, 12/07/2017 - 2:04pm

DH to SS while we were walking into a store

DH: You know we worship you, right?

ME: Lets not get crazy here.

Comments

Ninji's picture

Submitted by Ninji on Thu, 12/07/2017 - 2:18pm

SS was pouting because he had been lying to us about his "good" behavior and I decided to email the teacher and got the truth. DH can't stand for SS to be "sad". I guess that statement was to make him feel better about being sad because he got caught lying.

Ninji's picture

Submitted by Ninji on Thu, 12/07/2017 - 2:19pm

I prefer to tell SS I worship him for the next week or so at odd times. DH will get the hint and I will get some laughs.

TwoOfUs's picture

Submitted by TwoOfUs on Thu, 12/07/2017 - 4:14pm

I'd just be really offended and frustrated if my DH felt the need to wrap me into that 'we' without consulting me. He does wrap me into a 'we' fairly frequently when talking to the kids as it is.

'We' love you and are here for you. (Um...not me. I tolerate you and am looking forward to you leaving.)

You can count on 'us' and come to 'us' for anything. (See above. I've been generous with you for years...so it better not be money. Or time. Or attention.)

'We're' on your team. (See previous two items. I am on my own team now.)

I've had a hard enough time keeping my mouth shut during statements like this. If DH felt compelled to tell his kids that I worship them...we'd be having words.

Killingmeslowly's picture

Submitted by Killingmeslowly on Thu, 12/07/2017 - 2:18pm

What on God's green earth could have prompted a statement like that??? :jawdrop: :sick:

thinkthrice's picture

Submitted by thinkthrice on Thu, 12/07/2017 - 8:21pm

backyard pool for SS to walk on; jugs of water prelabeled for wine sale; large overhead banner saying "welcome back" placed strategically at entrance to cemetary...

lintini's picture

Submitted by lintini on Fri, 12/08/2017 - 2:22am

Omfg I'm dying laughing! I should have made a welcome back banner for SS16 hahahahahaha

DaizyDuke's picture

Submitted by DaizyDuke on Thu, 12/07/2017 - 2:22pm

OMG! I love my BS7 to infinity and beyond and he is a great kid.... and I can't imagine those idiotic words spewing out of my mouth for any reason. WTF is wrong with your DH?

We worship you?????

witch.hazel's picture

Submitted by witch.hazel on Thu, 12/07/2017 - 2:36pm

:sick: I just saw an article about Matt Lauer (so glad he's gone) and how he "worships" his children. Now this. What is it with people that think that language isn't pukey?

WalkOnBy's picture

Submitted by WalkOnBy on Fri, 12/08/2017 - 7:59am

Right? I wouldn't even say that about my own kids. Because, while I love them dearly, I do NOT worship them.

DH to SS - you know we worship you, right?

You to DH - ou know that you're never getting laid again, right?

Myss.Tique D'Off's picture

Submitted by Myss.Tique D'Off on Thu, 12/07/2017 - 3:57pm

Who is the WE in this foul statement. Your DH didn't say "I".

(And is this new religion tax exempt??)

notarelative's picture

Submitted by notarelative on Thu, 12/07/2017 - 7:12pm

Worship SS?
Only if he can save me a trip to the liquor store by turning water into wine.

Acratopotes's picture

Submitted by Acratopotes on Fri, 12/08/2017 - 1:59am

WTF....... I would not have stayed quiet or gave such a nice answer...

I probably would've said - No WE don't, your worship God not humans and SS is clearly not God

hereiam's picture

Submitted by hereiam on Fri, 12/08/2017 - 8:33am

I do not even worship my DH. I love him with all of my heart but I do not worship people.

Really, such a strange thing to say to a child.

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Submitted by Aniki-Moderator on Fri, 12/08/2017 - 10:15am

Jeez, Ninji, I'd lose my appetite! How did you manage to NOT laugh hysterically??

thinkthrice's picture

Submitted by thinkthrice on Fri, 12/08/2017 - 10:20am

I remember Chef's guilty daddy days (before they turned on him for setting the teensiest SPECK of rules).

He would sit there staring and lovingly admiring his shirtless youngest son (Prince Hygiene, aka the house shitter, at the time 6)

Visible big blobs/rolls of fat poked out of his whiter than a ghost skin. . .his puny shoulders hunched over. By contrast, Chef has a powerful build from decades of manual labour.

Chef: "He's built just like me! "SEE he has a V shape like me!!!" :barf: :barf:
(Yeah if the Michelin Man had a V shape, then yes.)

Looked like the two were having a love affair right there on the sofa. If I had told Chef to get a room, I would have been six feet under because he thought, at the time, that ogling one's spawn was natural!

Prince Hygiene would actually coquettishly bat his long platinum blonde eyelashes at Chef. The whole thing used to make me want to hurl.

strugglingSM's picture

Submitted by strugglingSM on Fri, 12/08/2017 - 10:45am

Lol! My DH has a similar love affair with his two kids. He thinks they're both smart, funny, wonderful little beings. One of my friends who has met them refers to them as "your unremarkable stepchildren".

I had a funny, but opposite exchange with DH. He was watching special snowflake SS on the football field and says, "why does he run like that? He's not very coordinated." I said to DH, "he has your exact body type, he moves just like you." I think DH was sort of offended, because he fancies himself to have been a very athletic child. He was a 3-year starter on his high school football team, a team which won the state championship his senior year, so maybe he was athletic, but his child is not. He always tells special snowflake that he "has a good arm" and should be quarterback. Special snowflake can't keep track of any plays, so would make a terrible quarterback.

I'm childfree, but watching my DH fawn over his children - who are very unremarkable - I wonder if having a child makes you delusional. All I can think of when I'm around his children is that if they were mine, I'd be really disappointed in them. They don't try hard at anything (not at school, not at sports), they still expect praise for their minimal effort, they are constantly whining, they don't ever get DH anything (not even card), they never answer his phone calls and only call when they want something. They are not ugly, but they're not overly cute. DH was a much cuter child and neither look much like him. One has emotional meltdowns like BM, one still wets the bed at age 11 almost 12, both are manipulative. I think I'd be pretty sad if they were mine, but maybe I'd be so blinded by the fact that they shared my DNA that I wouldn't see all these flaws. It's not all their fault, they have not been parented, but DH thinks they are so special and everyone should love spending time with them. In fact, it's a wonderful gift for my childfree friends to spend time with SSs, according to DH, even though they basically avoid interacting with adults.

Maybe I'm just jealous because I never had a love affair with either of my parents, but I can't help but wonder if all of these parents were not so busy having love affairs with their children, maybe they wouldn't have gotten divorced in the first place (or maybe they were forced into love affairs with their children because their marriages were so dysfunctional).

thinkthrice's picture

Submitted by thinkthrice on Fri, 12/08/2017 - 11:30am

Yeah Chef "programmed" his kids to think they are all athletic. Nothing could be further from the truth. Unless the definition of "athletic" is "freakishly huge for your age both vertically and horizontally."

I have two bios and I have NEVER "worshipped" them nor ogled them. I viewed myself as teacher and they as student. Not laity and deity. Then again, I was never a "guilty" "BFF" "freeranger" so-called "parent."

Only guilty/BFFing/free-ranging "parents" do the child worship and mini spouse thing.

p.s. his kids are downright homely. Especially YSS who took the worse attributes from the Girhippo and Chef. Chef has no bone structure but pleasant colouring. The Girhippo has minimal bone structure and zero colouring.

strugglingSM's picture

Submitted by strugglingSM on Fri, 12/08/2017 - 12:39pm

This made me laugh out loud, especially the bit about programming his kids to think they are athletic. BM has programmed her kids to believe that any time they get a bad grade, it's not because they didn't do their work or didn't pay attention in class, it's because the teacher is mean or doesn't like them. One of them asked me the other day what he'd have to do to get into Stanford. I wanted to say, "become a different person". Even on their best day, they are not even remotely Stanford material.

SSs both take after BM's family.

One has BM's pointy nose, snaggle teeth, and terrible need to be worshipped by everyone. BM was always a large girl / woman. SS has lost weight recently, which everyone remarks on. I think he's lost weight because BM changed his ADHD medication (one of the side effects is appetite suppression), but of course can't say that to people when they remark on how skinny SS is. I used to hope that he'd become a chubby teen because he is so judgmental of other people's appearances and so concerned about his own.

The other has BM's mother's extreme pallor and lack of eyebrows. I'm a very light skinned person who doesn't tan, but I look rather swarthy standing next to this child. Also, his lack of eyebrows (he has faint, white brows) make him look sort of creepy. He's also sort of creepy in general, like that kid who's plotting to do something behind the scenes. He's the one who - still at 11 almost 12 - if I give DH a hug, he has to rush in and give one after me or if I kiss DH on the cheek, he has to rush up and say "oh daddy, I love you" and give him a kiss on the cheek. He also used to sit outside our bedroom door at night. So, that all adds to me reading creepiness into his appearance. His one good feature is that he has DH's nose.

DH once made the mistake of telling me that I was the only attractive member of my family. I pointed out to him that BM is a full on troll and both of his kids look like her, so he should be careful what he says about other people.

The latest school photos we have for SSs are two years old, but they are so much better than last years school photos. In last years schoo