And this is why I will always hate BM
This was BM's weekend to have SS.
When he came home from her house, he had this conversation with DH...
SS - I'm sooo glad to be home
DH - Why's that?
SS - Because there is no food at my mom's house. I'm starving. I feel sorry for SD having to live there with no food.
Food has been an ongoing issue with BM. Skids have resorted to eating frozen French fries and popcorn for dinner. Whenever DH complains to BM about it, she insists there is plenty of food in the freezer. Yeah, because an 11 yr old knows all about defrosting and cooking frozen food.
But it's ok for BM and the new boytoy. They work in a bar that serves basket food, so they just eat at work.
Every time he comes back from her house he is starving.
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BM has never fed our skids
BM has never fed our skids either... She might take them once a day to get food, refuses to cook, doesn't keep food they'll eat on hand, and will bring them back LATE and without having fed them since like 10AM... It's disgusting... I'm glad they don't really go back anymore... BM claims them for food stamps (we reported it, her SM reported it, my mom reported it) but they won't investigate it, because she's a "single mom." *eye roll* Seeing kids 4 times in 6 months, no call on SD9's birthday or even thanksgiving... Yeah.. "Single mom"
I feel awful whenever they end up spending time with her... And they come back in complete emotional distress... I feel awful for your SS too... I'm so sorry you're having to watch that happen...
So many of these kids deserve SO DANG MUCH better... It sucks to watch...
Our BM is CP and she still
Our BM is CP and she still doesn't feed the skids properly. SD is 13 and has DH's outrageously fast metabolism, and yet BM won't let her eat because she'll "get fat." Other than her boobs, there's not an ounce of fat on this girl (just like there's not on DH). But SD is allowed one serving of foods, and that's it. We're fortunate that she knows her mother's comments are ridiculous, but seriously? Who does that to a kid?!
SS eats like a bird and always has. He's 8, at like the 25th percentile for weight (higher for height, so it looks worse), and he has only lost one tooth (apparently the body doesn't shed like it should when a kid is undernourished). And neither kids sleeps (the 8 year old gets maybe 8 hours at her house), so they're both *constantly* sick.
I guess I already know the
I guess I already know the answer but is either kid able to contact you guys while they are with BM.
Can they somehow let you know at exactly that moment that they are not being fed?
Might this be something you can have DHS investigate since it is clear neglect.
I mean an 11 year old should have the ability to operate a microwave but to cook a full meal? Without supervision?
I know most likely a dead end with DHS since BM would be able to show there is food but MAYBE DHS could do their job for once and interview the kid who could tell them that BM is not actually feeding them?
Reporting it for sure but do
Reporting it for sure but do the kids take overnight bags? Could they start? You could sneak food and label it Friday night, Saturday lunch, Saturday night, etc. At least they'd have something to eat. I realize you shouldn't have to do it but having them fed would be better than wondering if they're starving. Even send instructions for the 11 yo on how to cook certain foods you know BM might have there.
Poor kiddos
I thought about sending him
I thought about sending him with some food. The only thing that makes me hesitate is the fact that he would probably eat it all in one sitting.
At least then he's gotten
At least then he's gotten some sort of food while he is there which will help hold off the starvation.
I know that's not helpful.
Have a talk with him. In
Have a talk with him. In simple terms he can understand so he won't be so starving. It's worth it, just to know his belly will be more full.
Also maybe look at what your
Also maybe look at what your putting in there.
You know put in food but not the extra special I want to eat right away stuff. Like Cheerios. If I'm hungry I'll eat them but I'm gonna wait a while.
This isn't to be mean to him but if he can't self manage then you can help.
Or give BM an strongly worded letter saying you know she's not feeding the kid and your contacting CPS because an 11 year old should not be operating a stove unsupervised and she needs to get off her lazy a** and make food for the kids. Or start buying easy meals. Whatever it's her job to feed the kids while they are in her care and she's not even trying it seems.
In my case, the Girhippo just
In my case, the Girhippo just sends the skids to their friend's house to eat.
UGH…I remember SS leaning
UGH…I remember SS leaning into our fridge while on the phone with mommy dearest and telling her we had NOTHING to eat. We could have fed our family for a few weeks on the amount of food we had. It was just not the food he WANTED. Grrr. Pisses me off thinking about it. lol
My DD loved to tell me that
My DD loved to tell me that “we have no food”. That usually meant we have no junk or pizza lol we certainly always had food. But if you believe children are starving you need to call CPS asap.