Lesson learned, I guess. Don't leave anything you want within reach if the skids.

I guess I don't understand. These are things that were purchased as gifts for the SKs, so they belonged to them? And your DH told the SKs to take home anything in their rooms that they wanted, and they did just that?? I don't see that that gives you any right to complain, quite frankly. While you may have wanted some of those items for your own DS, the SKs were under no obligation either to leave it or to give it to him. In fact, had the SKs left those items, there would be a valid complaint that you wasted your money buying those items because they obviously did not want them. Sounds like the SKs were in a no-win situation. I don't see that there's a valid complaint here.

The kids took their gifts home. I do not see a problem with that. I doubt it was out of spite, your bs was probably not in their thoughts at all. Why didn't your dh or you ask the kids if you guys can give some of the unopen gifts to their brother. Instead of planning on just taking it. Only then they would have been spiteful for saying no.

I honestly find it strange that it seems like you were planning on taking their stuff without asking.

Double reply. Sorry

Unfortunately, like your DH, I would also look at you as if you were crazy

These things belonged to the kids and they were told to take what they wanted. I don't see the issue if they cleared out their stuff. Even if you bought the gifts, you gave it to the children. In my opinion, you gave it to the kids, therefore it is their property and not yours. You may have wanted it for your 6yo, but that is claiming possession of things that does not belong to you. You would be out of line if you did. Considering, the stuff had been there for years what prevented you from actually claiming any of the toys or items for your DS before the skids were asked to take what they wanted? I would hazard that you knew it wasnt your stuff to take...

I can understand your feelings of resentment and viewing what the kids did as selfish. Kids CAN BE selfish. I doubt they even thought of DS when they took things they never used or would never need. Bottom line: still their stuff.

The "I win" statement... What game or competition has you pitted against a 14 and 15 year old?

I 'get' it. Not that they actually took what was there and had originally been gifts to them, but more like a WTH moment as in they didn't want the stuff in the first place, never played with it and NOW the cart it all out as if the things were some treasured hoard. Leaving you scratching your head. Why take it now, the Little would have happily enjoyed and played with the things skids rejected and ignored all those years.

But as others have pointed out, the items were the stepkids. To take, toss or try and sell. Perhaps if they did come more and felt a closer bond with the Little, they might of thought of re-gifting the items to your DS. Maybe they plan on putting some of it in a sale this summer and making cash to purchase things age appropriate for teens. Maybe their plan is to give it to charity, perhaps some it has become collectable toys and grown in value. Maybe they took it just to say f-u. I don't know, but they were told to take what they wanted and to clean their rooms out. They did. It was indeed theirs to take.

Could they have given some of it to Little? Sure, but they chose not to. For whatever good and/or evil thoughts dancing around their heads, they did exactly as instructed. And rightly so. Not any different than any other young teen who goes through their things and decides what to do with the stuff. Had your Dh intended for them to perhaps share the old gifts with the younger child, he very well could have asked the older children that if there was something in there that Little might get use out of that they don't want, they could think about letting Little have it, or not.

Just let it go and move on. Some of those things were up to nine years old. While some things more or less stay the same in the toy world, most kids want to the newest latest 'must-have' this year toys or to have received items from their own 'wish' list, not someone else's old once was wish list.

I'm sorry it upset and/or took you by surprise, but the items were theirs to take. Doesn't matter who paid for the gifts. I'm sure your Little already has plenty of things of his own to enjoy (and hopefully appreciates all he has). From now on just let their father worry about what, if any, gifts his older kids receive in the future and you focus on the Little.

This is why people hate stepmothers. If skids leave unopened gifts behind they are spoiled and ungrateful, the gifts DH and SM bought were clearly not up to scratch. If they take their gifts with them they are greedy and selfish for not leaving them for the golden "ours" child to use.

Yes, you completely "won" by planning to not have rooms for your husband's children in your future home. Children who you have only seen once in the last year and who probably would not notice or care that they don't have rooms, because it will probably be another year before they come over. Congratulations on your victory.

I hope the skids sell all of their unopened stuff and order a pizza with the proceeds.

Let's see if I have this correct.

You and the children's father are moving in a place that is downgrading them from having their own rooms to atleast sharing. You clearly aren't close to them and don't care / are happy because they aren't wanted by you for whatever reason and now they have very clear evidence to back their claim "SM is trying to get rid of us."

They are teenagers who have lives and friends and may be dealing with alination but nope they are suppose to want to spend every second possible in a second home with an SM who doesn't exactly want them.

You demanded they clean their room and basicly set up a no win situation. You said nothing in advance about wanting stuff for you son. So like other said they are ungrateful if they leave it / didn't clean up like you said. Then since they did clean up like you asked they are selfish for taking what belongs to them.

Yeah the kids are the only issue here. Not you or DH or BM. Kids become who we raise them to be for the most part.

Ontop of this I want to add. You clearly were giving them things they don't care about or too much for years if they had that much untouch stuff. Why were you going overboard or not even trying get stuff they like.

Future SD got a notebook set. She's not big on it but from your point it seems like I'm suppose to be mad at an 8 year old. Or as the adult I can talk to her like I did "hey I can see that's not really something you like. You need to thank the person who got it for you anyways and then later we can exchange it for something you prefer..... wow she'll get something she actually will use instead of just keeping something she was given but has no interest in buy nope she's ungrateful.