BM the mistress
BM is currently a mistress of a married guy. The married guy is living with BM currently and is around SD often. This guy is under investigation for Domestic Violence. The guys wife already knows about BM and is filing for divorce and they have kids. DH was thinking about reaching out to the wife to get more info about this guy since hes around SD so much. Would anyone hesitate getting in touch with the wife? DH is concerned he may be dangerous.
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If he’s concerned he can look
If he’s concerned he can look him up on the county records and google him. I think it’s a little nosy personally, but I would do it anyway since he’s accused of domestic violence. I mean does your DH want to know just to know or does he want to know to see if he needs to get SD away from him? Because honestly if he isn’t planning on doing anything regardless, then there’s no point in knowing.
No, it will only cause more
No, it will only cause more problems. You can pay for a background check online.
Did his wife accuse him of
Did his wife accuse him of DV? When did she accuse him - before or after she found out about BM?
People accuse their spouses of weird things when they are getting divorced. I'm not saying that he didn't commit DV, but just being accused doesn't mean that he DID do it. And, an unbiased source of what ACTUALLY happened isn't going to be the jilted XW.
If your DH is concerned, he can check the new BF's background and keep an eye on the pending court case. Reaching out to the ex is only going to stir an already overflowing, boiling pot.
^^All of this BM accused my
^^All of this
BM accused my DH of DV during their divorce and requested sole custody of SD12 and SS11 (2 & 6mo at the time) due to her 'fear of DH'. (This was after her bid for sole custody due to SS being EBF was denied on the basis that BM had never breastfed either kid a single day.) He was investigated and cleared, and custody was set at 50/50. Just because he's being investigated doesn't mean he's guilty.
"BM is currently a mistress
"BM is currently a mistress of a married guy. The married guy is living with BM currently and is around SD often."
How can she be a mistress if the man is living with her???? :? :?
Based on this logic several posters on steptalk are mistresses.
The man and his wife are separated, working on a divorce and he has moved on.
You and your husband are just as bad as the "crazy" BM you keep complaining about
All 3 of you enjoy the drama
BM isn’t a mistress... Thyre
BM isn’t a mistress... Thyre separates and headed to divorce... As long as that’s in the process I think it’s acceptable... DH and I started dating during BM’s stalking when she was living with a bf already... DH may have been “married” but she was still his ex in the sense that wasn’t ever going anywhere, both moved on, and the divorce was in the process of occurring. I wouldn’t judge too harshly on that one.
HOWEVER, DV IS a concern... checking with an ex isn’t gonna get you anywhere though... I know BM completely badmouths DH and likes spreading lies about both of us... Because “how dare he move on from my cheating and abusive ass.” So your DH needs to follow the court case. Or my mom ran background on both BM and her bf online just to be sure we could get any info when we needed her address she was withholding for the safety of the girls.... Have him follow the case, when you get something solid, take it to court.
Nope, I would not hesitate
Nope, I would not hesitate for a second to contact this guy's STBX wife under the circumstances you describe.
I have a good friend who was called by his XW's then recent XBF who expounded on how this woman was ripping my friend off for costs and CS, etc... that she was not entitled to. The guy even met with my friends attorney back in his home town and completed a deposition on the XW's manipulations so that my friend could use it to defend himself in court against his XW's fabricated crap.
What is funny is that the XW and this guy eventually married and he called to try to get my friend to destroy the deposition. }:)
Nope, he kept that deposition and would threaten to roll it out in court if his XW didn't get reasonable in a hurry. }:)
It worked wonders for my friend.
Ton of members on steptalk
Ton of members on steptalk live with married men while men go through divorce and many live with them way before men even file for divorce, in fact some have to beg their boyfriends to even file for divorce. Yet no one refers to them as “mistress”. Why are you calling her a “mistress”? No I’d not reach to his wife, but i would do background check if I’d thought he is violent
Im pretty sure the wife filed
Im pretty sure the wife filed for divorce because her husband was cheating on her with BM who was also married. The wife filed and so did BMs husband last fall. I guess Im curious how you would refer to BM and the guy...cheating sluts, side pieces, skanks rather than misteress? I would say the guy is homeless and shacking up with BM at her house.
Anyway Im not sure who the victim is in the case as its pending. We will definitely be following the case.
How about you not refer to
How about you not refer to them at all since what they are doing is none of your business. Who BM screws has zero impact on you.
The more you post, the more I understand why BM gives you pure hell. You and BM are both shit starters.
BM does her shit out in the open where everyone can see her crazy. You on the other hand move in silence on the sidelines in an effort to hide your crazy. Your husand has purchased first class tickets on the crazy train.
All 3 of you need to the cut out the foolishness.
What do you care who BM is
What do you care who BM is sleeping with? Would it effect amount of alimony or child support? If not how is it your concern? And how do you know if someone only filed for divorce because of cheating
Yeah I guess it's possible
Yeah I guess it's possible the wife filed because the guy beat her. But I guess DH souldn't worry that this guy is living with SD.
Sure, call the soon to be
Sure, call the soon to be former wife. How do you know her telephone number?
There you go, you read posters who said NO, posters who said you are a pot stirrer and now I said YES go ahead and call her.
You pick.
DH should mind his own
DH should mind his own business, he has no right interfering with his Ex wife's life, they are divorced, oh all hell will break loose if SO ever told me, BM's boyfriend is accused of this or that and he's reaching out to her...
Yes they do have a child together, but all DH can do is talk to his daughter and tell her, if anything should ever happen she needs to call 911, police, fbi, cia, kgb chuck norris or whom ever.... and that will be the only way she can get out, but DH needs to stay out of it, it's got nothing to do with him...