Don’t go. Besides it’s weird for a husband to throw a baby shower for his wife. You’ve gotten away from the situation. Do NOT go back for ANY reason

The kid shouldn’t live with you primarily. It should be 50:50 if both parents are physically and financially stable. You should go, it’s not a party for you, but for your kid..one that can’t be physically detached to you currently to go so put your kid first and go. This is a good way to open the door for coparenting. Will it be awkward? Sure, think of it as the first of very very many awkward scenarios that will happen during this 18-20 years of coparenting. It doesn’t really matter if he’s just playing a part for his family, so what? You don’t have to deal with it anymore so let him do whatever. The comments about him keeping the gifts was a little petty, I’m sure you had a baby shower with your relatives. I would go just to make sure he gets the basics the kid will need to be with him.

No..I wouldn't go to the shower.

Your side of family and friends can have a shower on your behalf.

It is probably a ploy to try to get you to come back to him.

You have left him (maybe his family doesn't know this?) and should not go to the shower. It will just encourage him to keep trying to manipulate you into going back to him.

No. Do not put yourself in this situation. The less stress in your life the better. I hope you are doing better everyday, HUGS

No, nope, no.

I wouldn't go.

You left this man because he was abusive. He is an alcoholic. He treated you badly. There is NO WAY I would be going anywhere near him. Be grateful you had the strength to leave and DO NOT put yourself in a position where you have to be near him.

Why take 2 steps forward, then 3 steps back!?

No no no no no no.

No. Why would you attend? Was the shower planned before you left three weeks ago or is this something he's cooked up since your departure?

While baby gifts are nice to have, you don't need them badly enough to go anywhere near this man. You he explain to the guest why the baby's mother is not there. The room full of people likely won't hear the truth. It will be some excuse or it while be a pity party for the poor daddy who needs their help in preparing for the child for when the baby does visit (you'd be a fool to ever allow this baby to be anywhere near this man without supervision by an impartial designated third party and on a very limited basis and controlled environment).

If you want and need baby gifts, have your Mom throw a shower with her friends and her extended family. You should also be receiving CS once the baby is born. Use it to buy baby things. Babies don't need half of what new mommies think they do to begin with.

I'm going to assume it took a lot for you to up and leave, so I'm going to ask. Why are you spending all this time speaking to this man? He's trying to wear you down and bribe you back. You need to keep strong. Gather back up that strength you found to leave and hold on to it.

The last nine months of your pregnancy, is that what you want for the future of your soon to be born child? Of course not. He's not changed. He's not changing. People with the problems he has have an enormous hardship in overcoming their issues. It doesn't happen in a few weeks. It doesn't happen in a few months. Sometimes when it does partially happen, it doesn't last and they fall right back in. This man isn't 'fixed' , it's a long and extremely difficult road to recovery and just as hard to then stay on the right path.

If you won't stay strong for yourself, stay strong for your baby.

No don’t go. It will not be good. It is just a chance for him to try to get you back. He probably hasn’t even told his family you left and is hoping that you two will just go back to the way things were.

If his family want to give him things for his house when the baby is with him then that is their choice. You will need to provide for the baby at your house separately. That is how it works when you two do not live together.

If you want financial support from him you need to set get some legal advice as to how legalize your separation, how to get child support set up and how to set up a parenting plan. I would also ask for legal advice as to wether you should put his name on the baby’s birth certificate.

Absolutely not, stay away from this man and his family. Nothing good can come from you going.

You do not feel well that day. If this shower is really for you, he will deliver the gifts to you, via third party hopefully. You can avoid it all, by resting; you are so close to delivery!

I would NOT go, then you have to begin the process of disengagement all over again, from the entire bunch. That is way too stressful for you at this point. Just stay home and "rest".

Keep us posted
Hope you are ok and it goes well.

Congratulations!

Husbands don't plan baby showers for wives. What he's doing is trying to get his family to buy baby items so he doesn't have to.

People don't change after a few counseling sessions or a few AA meetings. True change takes time and work. He has not changed yet.

You said the guests at this are his relatives and friends and that none of them have called or texted you since you left. So either they don't know you have left or they have listened to whatever story he is selling and bought into it. Either way you don't want to walk into this.

Do not go. Do not see him. The people you want to see are a lawyer and a counselor who specializes in victims of domestic violence. He is trying to drag you back. You need to be strong for yourself, your new baby, and your older child.

At first i thought go and get the swag
Now I have read all the other posts
Instead of going to the shower serve him divorce papers
The shower is an excuse to lure you to his house for reasons only known to him
DO NOT GO!

Have him served divorce papers at the shower.

No, No, No

He is abusive and trying to lure you back in. Stay as far away from him as possible.

He sure is cutting it kind of close with the party date, isn't he? You left him at 81/2 months 22 days ago. Shouldn't your due date be soon?Email him you are exhausted and can't imagine having to help entertain that many people right now but you would be grateful if he would bring over the diapers and anything else you would need immediately. Ask him to keep a list of who brought what do you can write thank you notes.

He's a control freak.

Still trying to organise your life when your not there. Don't go, about time people saw what a little man he is.

Are you still cared of him and the consequences of not going? Go and stay with family or friends.

Stay safe.

What charges are pending and DO you have a protection order?

OP

As a victim of assault (not married to per,no kids either) I immediately called the police as soon as I made it to a safe location.

THIS below sound like he was never charged. TEMP order given to air on side of caution and finding of fact had no teeth.
He has a domestic violence report between him and his babymama from years ago and got one of his kids taken away for a while.
JMO based on what you wrote.

Be safe...Remember too, that many women report false info to get upper hand in court.

Please don't go... he will be charming and you will be trapped again...

Your family can have a baby shower for you Hon and you will get nice things, ignore this idiotic husband of your and decline gracefully..

I bet ya his family does not even know you moved out, and he wants you there to safe face, he probably told them you are visiting your parents.

Now simply decline and if any of them should ask, smile and say, Talk to him, I've got nothing to say... you can be a total bitch and say, I'm sorry but I'm not raising a child in a house hold where one parent is abusive.

If you DO go, arrange for a friend to pick you up - while at the party, announce that you'll need some help to move the baby's stuff into the waiting vehicles so you can take it home.... what's he going to do, exclaim that byou can't take the baby stuff YOU were given at a shower at which you're the guest of honor?