You are not alone!

(Replying and Venting at the same time...)

I have been married almost three years to a wonderful man. We are a blended family (his, mine, ours) and have to deal with a crazy bio mom who can't seem to get it together. She is always blaming him for the miserable life she created for herself. She won't keep a job, is in debt up to her eyeballs, has a spending habit out of this world, and hates happy people.

BM remarried when the children were very young, but my husband was in their life the entire time, except when she kept the children from him for a year--and even then he was still paying support.

BM has been lying to anyone with a pulse, telling people that she's been taking care of her children without any help or child support, my husband is not a good father, etc. She has done some very dishonest things in order to get money from her own family members by lying on my husband.

When BM gets caught in a lie, she all of a sudden has an episode of illness or pain, or she throws a tantrum.

She used to question my SKids about things that go on in our house. When they stopped talking, she got angry and accused my husband of trying to sabotage her relationship with "her" children. When she comes to visit, she always leaves upset because she doesn't like to see any positive changes in our lives or our home. If we have anything new or different, she always thinks that it was bought with money that could have been spent on "her kids".

BM lies about needing money for the children's education, etc., and then she gets the money, but the children still complain that the school asked them not to return until tuition is paid, or BM's mom will tell us that she had to pay for the issue that we already gave BM money for. She is a certifiable LOON!!!

My husband is a patient man, but this has got to stop! This woman hates to see my husband happy, and treats her own husband like absolute crap. She complains that my husband takes better care of our children than he does "his own". She tells my SKids that their father doesn't need them anymore because he has a new family. She tells them that he doesn't care about them and even has told the children that my husband beat her. She admitted to me that she said it even though it wasn't true because she was angry.

What she doesn't see is that she is hurting the kids with her lies, because they used to believe what she said. Now, they know when she's lying, and they call her on it too. She gets mad and tells them to "stop acting like your daddy".

She calls my husband a deadbeat dad whenever she can't squeeze more money out of him, and then complains that he's causing her stress and illness. When she lies, the truth always comes out later, because she always forgets who she told what lie to. I actually feel sorry for her because she doesn't think that her lies will catch up with her. Believe me, they always do, and it is never be pretty.

My advice to you, just don't give in to the lies, and you (or hubby) should ask lots of questions, it'll throw her off. Also, don't give in to her demands if they are unreasonable. Sometimes, asking becomes a game, and they don't always have to win.

Any advice? My ex has not been a part of his son's life for 10 yrs (court ordered) due to emotional games he played with his child. Fast forward.....son is now in college and ex wants a relationship. Son says fine, but he doesn't want to discuss the past. What can I do as a Mom to help my son without talking badly about the ex?
Ex emailed wanting contact info, and accused me of making up memories of the abuse and instilling them in my son, so as to drive them apart.

He still denies the reality of what he did, claims it never happened, and tells absolutely crazy interpretations of it. For instance, he fell behind on child support and wouldn't catch up (self employed makeing well over $100k/yr). Says my lawyer, the judge, everyone was lying and crooked and I was psychotic for bringing lawsuits whenever he fell months behind in support and refused to pay bills.

How does one deal with such a person? I'm really afraid my son is going to be hurt again, but there doesn't seem to be much I can do about it. He's 19 yrs old.

Since I care to remember my step-daughter has been habitually lying. Even the smallest of things example: Did you brush your teeth? Yes! She is now a 20 yr old adult, and I have been run through the ringer with her. She stole her father's check blanks in 7th grade and wrote out checks to the school, at age 16 she attempted suicide because she thought we didn't buy her the car she wanted, and since she graduated high school,for the last year has moved back home 7 times, lost 5 jobs within 2 months of working them. During one of these times, she broke down the door to the house, stole a car radio/cd player right out of the dash, and her latest incident was she came to our house when we were at work and stole a ring that my grandmother had given me. I, not even being able to comprehend who could do such a thing, called the police, and within, 2 days they arrested her and recovered this ring from the pawn shop, which was quite expensive. She now sits in jail, we are on day 8, and she had the nerve to call us, and think we were going to bail to out. When I told her that she violated me, the result? She hung up on me! She has been in therapy since age 5, but every time someone calls her on a lie, she becomes enraged. She will blame every one under sun for anything if she thinks it will get her out of the hot seat. Now, 8 days into this nightmare, she refuses to call, since I told her she violated me, even to say I'm sorry. Her father and I have yet to hear or see any remorse, the only thing we are feeling is numb! She has begun spinning her webs of lying, and I am at the end of my rope. Any suggestions? Advise?

I have been with my boyfriend for 4years now and I feel like I have walked into the deepest part of hell when it comes to his ex, I don't know what to do anymore she is making mine and his life a living hell, everytime we turn around she is calling the police on us saying that we abuse her son, she went as far as saying my boyfriend has sexually abused his son, shes called child services on us and everytime there is no evidence because there is no abuse going on, this woman has gone as far as accusing my 8year old son of abusing my step son, if he gets a scratch that is barely an inch long she is taking him to the hospital getting x-rays and cat scans it horrible not only for us but for the child to, when we do the child exchange we have to call an officer for a stan-by because if it is just us by our selves she tries to say we threaten her.Not only does she do all of this my step son is 5years old can barely talk like a 2year old, can not count not even to 5 or does he know any of his ABC's, he doesn't even know how to draw a stick figure, it is bad.My boyfriend and I decided that we were going to take her back to court to get full custody because of his developmental delays and now she is retaliating even more than before, my step son won't even talk to me or look at me and now shes telling the lawyer that she only has met me twice which is a lie and that i got very hostile towards her and irate with her mother, shes the one that threatened to hit me and i have never even met her mother, what am i supposed to do all I want is to help my step son be in a better environment where he can learn and be a kid, we want to teach him to ride a bike and play catch but right now we can't because if he gets hurt again the police will be at are door. We have taken her to court almost every year for contempt of court because when it is are turn for a holiday visitation she has a reason why he cannot go with us, or she just won't show up but the judge never does anything and now we have 5years of evidence piled up on my living room and have spent almost 10,000 dollars on this new court case but i mean is the judge going to do the right thing or just slap her on the wrist and let her keep destroying our lives and my step sons life, seriously what can we do to make the BS stop I really don't know what to do and no one I know has ever been in a situation with a crazy lady like this so if any of you have advise please help me.

My ex wife always lies over the phone or through emails. I will ask her the same questions, but in different ways, and she always has a different story to tell. I have custody of our daughter, and when I would call her up to ask her if she would be visiting with her over her weekend....she would constantly make up or lie her way out of seeing her. Every court hearing that we have had, she would go into court and LIE her way out of child support. She would call up the prosecutor and tell her that she has no means of taking care of herself cause her and her spouse split up, let alone paying child support for our daughter. But yet, the next time her and the prosecutor spoke she changed her story and got caught. The judge based her child support on a LIE. She claimed she was only working two-three days a week, but YET when it was her weekend to pick up our daughter for her visit she said she couldn't due to her job. She claimed she worked seven days a week, but couldn't afford $100.00/month in child support. I am sooooo happy that we are divorced and she is out of my life! I couldn't handle the LIES anymore!!

I have been helping my man to raise his son since he was 10 months old. Little to my suprise when I found out what I was in for when I met the kids mother. The first day I met her she seemed nice, and I thought hey it would be good if we got along if I am going to be in her sons life. Boy was I wrong. The second day I was around her she was giving me and my BF a ride (with her son in the car mind you) to go get our stuff out of a car we wrecked. The car had been in her name and insurance. Anyway after getting our stuff and on the way home she got a call that they had forgot to leave the keys and so they wouldnt be able to tow the car home. She immediatley started yelling uncontrolably and (on the highway, with her kid in the car) swirved over to the side of the road). My BF got out of the car and because of the baby I stayed in the car. This woman took her shoe off and started running after him. I was in shock! That is just the beginning. Apparently from day one she would leave the baby in his crib all day while she slept. We would come to pick him up at like noon and she would be sleeping with beer cans all over while he was just sitting by himself in the crib. After I made him stop paying her rent she had to move in with her mom for a couple of years where in the beginning they had went to court to determine custody, support, etc. I became pregnant. during this time. The next couple of years (while she lived with her mom) were ok I guess. I later learned that was just because her mom was pretty much doing everything and that is why things went so smoothly. In the order he gets to take his son sunday evening at 6 through wed at 230 pm, and the other week is monday at 8 am-wed 230. He was also ordered to pay her support of like $65 per week based before they had finished the custody order and he only had him one night per week. Mind you, at this time he is only 1 year old so school is not involved yet. In the very beginning after the court order, they both agreed to have everything completley seperate..dipers, clothing, etc. So if he would come in an outfit, he would go home in one of the ones we bought along with her's washed and folded, and the same when he would come to our house he would always come in something she bought (wait, sorry, something her mom bought) and the stuff we bought washed and folded. No big deal. A while later we moved and she moved into her own low income apartment. Mind she has never held a job for longer than four months the whole time, but she was going to college while staying with her mom. Right after she moved into her place things just got worse. She wanted us to take him more which was great, but she never buys him anything. She drinks a lot and fights with people in front of her son. Whenever he has a doctor appointment she can not take him, but come halloween and forget it we cant have him. We took her back to court because he was so afraid to go home and would throw a tantrum when she came to pick him up because she was fist fighting with her boyfriend right in front of him. Child services had to come out to our house too! She was making her son lie to us and keep things from us, because he told us of many times that he had seen his mom and her BF and other guys fight too. We got an annonymous call saying that we need to get him away from her and that she is hurting him bad. There were more than one child services call on her,and one of them was saying that her son was pretending to cut his wrists. She also got a DWI. It was ridiculous. We spent a few times and court,and she showed documents that said she was getting mental help, that she had depression and was in anger management, and taking medication. That was it, things stay the same, no change. She agreed to put her son in counseling too, and just never did. Of course my BF doesnt ever mention it again either which is annoying. I think he needs it bad. He walks around sucking his thumb still. He seems real afraid to show his emotions. He says his mom never hangs out with him and all she ever does is lay in bed. Since we went back to court things have only gotten worse because now she knows there is nothing we can do. Let me tell you his dad takes him 7 miles away for school every mon tue and wed there and back, while she sits on her ass has him two days for school a block from her house while someone else gets him on and off the bus (because for some strange reason she has been working full time for the last 6 months) and then has him all weekend where he says all she does is sleep, or he goes to grammas. He also says that his mom doesnt feed him all the time. He will come here on sunday night about 7pm, and say he only had breakfast, or he will be sleeping too when my BF goes to get him. This is not just once in a while this is every weekend. He was at my moms not too long ago and was like well Im going to my moms tonight so I might not get dinner. He also drew a picture we found in his school folder that was him eating saying sometimes I am hungary. So my BF would start calling on sunday and asking to pick him up early saying we were trying to figure out dinner hoping she would just let us get him but she would say she would feed him dinner than he will come over and have only had a PB&J sandwhich. Mind you my BF has never spoke up to her or confronted her on any of this. He just says there is nothing he can do, and why bother? Thats not all either. He has a condition which has him take medicine 5 times per day and doctor visits and tests every 3 months. She has custody of him but we have been doing all that and his 6 month dentist visits (which she has never done) for over a year now without her even so much as asking about the visits or tests. He also says that his mom (who has the same condition as him) doesn't give him his medicine ever anymore. Well the tests show that things are fine, but we dont know if this will hurt him in the long run. His doctors is also 40 minutes away. Every year for the past 3 years we have bought him his shoes, backpack, everything. Last year it was freezing rain when my BF went to pick him up and he had no winter coat (no coat at all!) and she was like, "Oh, I haven't got to get him one yet." So we immediatley went out and bought him a brand new coat for $30 the next day. We also bought it a bit big so he could wear it for two years. Now it is the beginning of next winter (she has also been working full time for the last 6 months, and even by a COLA gets $75 per week from us) she has been sending him only with the inside (spring jacket) of the winter coat we bought him last year. My BF goes to pick him up and doesnt even say anything! He sends him home in a sweatshirt with the spring coat that week. Well the next monay (it was snowing) and he picks him up from school and he is still only wearing a spring coat! What is her problem!!!! I just don't know what to do. I am so lost in this situation. It affects us sometimes because we fight because I want him to all her and say our son says you dont feed him and what is your problem? How could you let him freeze with no coat? He just lets everthing go. She sits on her ass, does nothing, has custody, and only participates with her son when it is convienent for her like holiday. She works full time gets all that money from us, but then we get "visitation" and do and buy everything for him. I know my BF is right, in the long run his son will see who took care of him, and believe me he all ready sees plenty. I still think even if we cant get the title of custody (even though we might as well) we should atleast get the support lowered due to how much we have to spend each week on him, and more! I am not against paying her support and never have been, but now she so obviously doesnt spend anything on him. She wont even buy him a coat! She does absolutley nothing moetary for him what so ever. For christ sakes she barley feeds him! And when she does it is either PB&J or grilled cheese. If he gets anything new likes shoes or an outfit his gramma bought it. He talks and she just doesn't get it. He is now 6 years old.Thats not just it either, she will send him to school in clothes that dont fit him and so we will send him back in something that does, then he will come over in something that doesn't..if you can see the end result of this cycle is that we end up with nothing that fits him which in turn makes us have to continuously have to go out and buy him more clothes. (remember we only have "visitation" with him, so in all reality we shouldnt have to have more than a few outfits here for him), however he always has as much clothes as if he were here every day of the week, but we continuously have to keep buying more, because I will not send him to school in clothes that don't fit him. He has once in the past couple of years asked her to send some of the clothes back our way, but she just ignores him. My BF refuses to take her back for the support or even mention anything to her like you need to buy him a coat, or why are you putting size 3t pants on him when he wears a size 5??? I am at my wits end with this woman. After paying her support there is no way he would even be able to afford driving him to school if it weren't for me working full time now. So yes I get very distraught over this stuff and I don't mean to sound petty about money, but it seems wrong to me? I know there is nothing I can do, but it makes me so sad to see him be abused like this. She so obviously neglects him and knows there is nothing we can do. I do not understand how someone could treat there own flesh and blood the way that she does. I just need some opinions. Am I wrong? Should I do the same thing my BF does and just ignore it all? I sometimes get so angry and just don't see how I could ignore it when he comes over in the snow with no coat, or comes over at 7pm having had no meals while he says his mom took him to the mall and bought herself a shirt, while he doesn't even get fed! It's sick. I sometimes think we may split up because I can't seem to let this neglect go. I need to vent about it. Does anyone have any suggestions? Please dont say bring her back to court to fight for custody because we all ready tried and obviously that is not going to happen.