Annoyed right now....
Forums:
Many of you know my situation with my bio son's sm, and the bottom line is that she is insane, jealous, and extremely insecure. So, my son's dad and I spoke today and he informs me that Jennifer (sm) had him send a nasty e-mail to me and he wanted to me to repond with a nasty e-mail so that Jennifer will think we are fighting.
So I did, I went along with it, but at the same time I'm just so tired of it... I don't like Jennifer at all but I also don't like taking part in all of the deceit.
But on the other hand, if I don't play along with my son's dad then he will be mad at me and things will be that much harder on us all.
Does anyone have any advice?
OH! and by the way... Brittney Spears lost custody of her kids today.
Seems weird
I would do just as you said not take part in the deceit, the problem he has with his wife is his problem not yours, plus who cares if he is mad at you, you are not married to him anymore, you mention it would be hard on all of us who would it be hard on?
Doesn't the stepmom
lurk on this website? She should know by now that your ex (her husband) does this on purpose to "make her happy"...I'd quit being a player in their sorted game. She sounds looney to me and why continue to play the game? She's still going to be petty and dress your son in sweats when it's 85 degrees outside yada yada. Your ex is using you to keep his marriage alive because he can't but she still treats your son bad either way. Let him deal with her. Either way - good luck
It's usually harder to do the right thing...
So start getting used to the fact that things may be difficult for a while. Seriously, he can go take a flying leap!!! Stop letting them suck you in that trap. Don't play the part anymore, just don't respond and give her what she wants. Your ex must have balls the size of a tadpole to let this witch start so much needless drama. I would suggest family counseling b/c this woman must understand that her behavior is damaging, irresponsible and immature. And ex-dumbass must stop enabling her psychotic behavior. The one who is jeapordy is your son and your ex is doing a piss poor job of protecting him. If your own child is being treated like a sub-human, by all means take any and all measures necessary to nip that shit in the bud. Let your ex-wimp know that the only communication that you will engage in is that which will benefit your child, not her need for chaos. Anything else should be disregarded and filed in under the "extreme stupidity that I will no longer take part of" file. I know it's easier said than done, but practice makes perfect! I really wish you the best of luck- I know this woman has stopped at nothing to make your life hell. But we all know- what goes around, comes around...She will get hers one of these days. What a sweet day that will be!
"All that we are is a result of what we have thought."- Buddha
Your right stepmom....
I shouldn't be a player in their sick little games... but in a situation like this one, I really feel as if I don't have a choice.... I either: A) go along with my ex and fake a fight to make his wife happy, thus making his home life easier, thus keeping our co-parenting relationship on track.... Or
refuse to go along with it an piss my ex off who will then start going along with Jennifer's antics and they will make everyone miserable.... We've been down this road before and time and time again I've found that everything just works better when Jennifer believes that my son's dad and I hate each other.... She thinks that if we are getting along then we are sleeping together (according to him).... I do believe that my ex uses me to make her jealous... he recently told me that Jennifer was mad at him because he had told her that I have the prettiest eyes hes ever seen.... I was like WHAT!! Why would say that! Shes already crazy and then you go and say that?? WHY?!
And yes Jennifer does lurk around here but she wouldn't believe what I say anyway... She lives in such denial that its scary... she would simply say that I am crazy and lying and then be even more angry toward me... The way I see it, this place has been my safehaven for over a year now... Jennifer FOLLOWED me here... she choose to stalk me and in doing so, if she hears things she doesn't like then so be it... shes doing it to herself.
Well.. you know what's best for your son
So I'd just go with your gut. Coparent as best you can
Good luck
Thanks str8!
Couldn't have said it better myself! Thanks for the advice.
That's some crazy soap opera drama.
I agree with str8's post. Sounds to me like your ex might not be over you. I mean why else would he tell his wife something like that. If dh ever said something like that to me, I would kick his a** to the curb,literally. Seriously, I wonder if he is trying to play you both. My ex hubby was like that, the idiot, tried hitting on me, when his pregnant wife was in the next room. It blew my mind, that he could be that disgusting. Of course my ex thinks he is God's Gift to women, and no woman can resist his charm...barf. Wish I could buy him for what he's worth, and sell him for what he thinks he's worth..I would be a billionaire
Too funny chellebelle....
I like that: "Wish I could buy him for what he's worth, and sell him for what he thinks he's worth.. I would be a billionaire"
Thats him! He also thinks that hes this ripped stud who all women want... yeah, barf... trust me... he is NOTHING special... at all... To this day he gives me these retarded looks, which are his attempts at being sexy... oh my God.... I just threw up in my mouth....
He also used to hit on me (while he was engaged to his now wife, Jennifer)... he would tell me that I was pretty and all kinds of crazy crap that I frankly didn't care to hear....
I told Jennifer and of course she didn't believe me; she believed him when he said that I was the one who wanted him.... (which of course she beleived because ALL women want him! Duh!) Her belief that he is God's gift is also why she won't allow him to have any female friends... (because they will fall under his magnificent charms and soon fall desperately, deeply in love!) Its also why she won't let him go to the local coffee stand where pretty girls work.... Also part of why she so insanely jealous... she truly believes that she has this big prize and she is so insecure that she does not want anyone else near her prize because they may steal it! WOW... I've never really thought about this before... but it sure would explain a lot about why Jennifer is the way she is.
I told Jennifer when he was cheating on her again (after she already caught him once), I told her when he was hitting on me, ETC. What was her response? To attack me for "lying" and trying to break them up! BUT, now that I think about it, maybe she truly believed that was what I was doing.... because doesn't everyone want him?? wouldn't any woman do anything (even lie) to get him?
I did tell her no, that maybe the women that she caught him cheating on her with wanted him... but as for me? Not so much.... My being truthful with Jennifer is a lot of her reasoning for hating me... she thinks that I was lying to break them up or something.... so its all starting to make sense.... and he plays it up for some sick reason to get her going!
Oh my God... it is really all comming together....
I honestly don't think that she is "insane" persay, just misguided and as a result extremely jealous, angry, and insecure.... some people do crazy things when they are constantly lied to and mentally fucked.... I don't think that people (for the most part) are intentionally cruel and vicious... maybe she and I are both being played.... maybe that is why he has always been HUGE on making sure that Jennifer and I NEVER communicate.... seriously... he has always wanted to avoid it at all costs.... he never wanted us to even be civil to one another... maybe because we would have figured this out a long time ago!
I never told his wife, that he tried hitting on me.
My ex was a dog, plain out stinking D-O-G, but I figured that if I told his then wife that he was hitting on me I would get the same response from her that you go from your ex's wife. The way I look at it is, noone warned me ahead of time, that he was a cheating dog, and even if they had I wouldn't have believed them. I had to find out on my own.
Be true to yourself, that's all that matters.
I wouldn't take part in any more of his games. He's playing mind games, which only proves that he's immature. He's including you because he has an agenda, and it makes you look like a willing participant in her eyes. And, if I were her, I would think you were still interested...which we know isn't true. So, you need to remove yourself from any future "games." Remember, every DOG has it's day, his is coming! Make sure you're not there to see it!
This seems to me
no different than when we complain about our significant others, playing nice with the BM in order to make 'things' run smoothly. Read the posts on here, everyone is complaining of their man not having balls to step up to the plate with their ex. Your not doing anything different, except the roles are reversed. Let him deal with his own marriage problems.
I think you are doing this...
to smooth the way for your son, and I understand that. If you feel that by playing along with these games makes her treat your son better then I would be doing it too. Maybe it is time for you to start gathering evidence, such as taping converstaions your ex has with you, keeping emails and voice mail, create a file and take them back to court so they get less visitation to your son. This isn't healthy for him or you for that matter.
Catch xx
*Mean People Suck*
My Ex's 3rd ex-wife
(I was the 2nd and he's now on #4) thought that I was still in love with "her husband" too. I had to let her know THAT SHIP HAS SAILED!!! I have no intention of nor have I ever wanted my ex back. The day that I walked out was it. I was tired of trying and had actually grown to have very ill feelings toward him. I had to let her know that had I wanted him back I never would have left him in the first place...or I could have had him back before they got together. Over time we started to get along but by then she divorced him. She was always good to my daughter so I never had an issue with her on that.
I hate people that don't have enough going on in their lives that they have to stir up shit in someone else's.
Good friends are like stars....you don't always see them, but you know they are always there.
Agreed!
My ex's wife thinks that I want him back because he was my first love... keep in mind that I was 16 years old when we broke up and when I had my baby... 16 years old... I was a child who thought that I was in love.... we were together for a total of 9 months, never married, never serious to tell you the truth... again, I was a CHILD myself. When we broke up I was a devasted child who had her first broken heart... I was also pregnant and the time and learned that my babies dad had been cheating on me with his now wife.... anyway, I was hurt and yes I called him a lot and I cried a lot and I tried to get him back.
That was over 10 years ago. I got over it a long time ago.
Now I am 27 and I have had many loves, many losses, and learned many lessons along the way... Why on earth his wife (who was the gal he was cheating on me with) would think that I want him now is beyond me... If I were to have met him when I was an adult he is not someone I would even take a second look at...
That's funny
Had I met my ex about 10 years later or hell even 5 years later I never would have dated him either!! hahahaha I was very young when we started dating and got married. I was 20 when our daughter was born...so yeah I was young too. He isn't my type at all. But I have to be glad I met him because he helped me become the person that I am today....and I like who I am.
Good friends are like stars....you don't always see them, but you know they are always there.