My first post...HELP!!
Ok here goes...this could take a while =o(. I have a 19yr old SD...ok she tells her father she already has a mother she doesn't need another one but technically I fall into the role even if she doesn't want it...anyway....the child tries to rule the house, if things don't go her way as far as I am concerned she goes crying to her father about how mean I am to her blah blah blah...she's disrespectful to her father and that really makes me mad because he's very mild mannered and she takes advantage of him to no end. I don't even want to bother saying anything about her anymore to him because I'm always the one that ends up looking bad in the end. He never bothers trying to correct her because as he says 'it's not worth the fight'...ok I also have a 9yr biological son...he and I just moved in with the BF at the end of August...things have been going really well but...now the SD is coming home from University in 2 days....I'm seriously stressed about this..she is way to physical with my son at times, at times she's actually tried to tell me how to talk to him...ok yeah like she's a know it all believe me on that one. She has the morals of an alley cat. This kid had a different BF every month for 6 months last summer and fought with her father because he wouldn't allow her to have them sleep over with her...I know when I was growing up that was what we called a 'skank'. Her BM is no better believe me. She left her father for another man so I guess this is where the SD learned to be a tramp. I don't want my son seeing this. When the SD came home from University for a weekend here and there I basically ignored her because the minute you say anything at all even to ask her a question I get attitude from her...ok so my question is..how do I make it through the next 4 months with her home and not end up on Prozac? Oh did I mention that my BF that we all live with is not her biological father? Yeah you got that one....her 'perfect' mother left her with her step father. In the last 4 years she's seen her BM a total of about 3 weeks.
You're the adult
Part of you need to disengage from things that don't directly concern you. Trust me, it will save your sanity. (I have to do that when my SF gets testy with my mother... bite my tongue, walk away, blog it here. But if he treats me like a jerk you'd better belive I'd jump his case.) The other part of you needs to put your foot down. Your home, your son, your problem. And if you get labelled a meanie, then put a crown on your head & be Queen Meanie.
JMO
Cajun Lady
That sounds like the same
That sounds like the same situation I have, because my H has an 18 year old daughter who lives with us and he lets her have her way because he thinks it takes less energy than to fight with her.
That attitude doesn't help.
I hope he's really attached to you. Mine wasn't enough with me, and I lost. Going to be moving out soon.
I agree with Cajun. You're the adult.
But you know what? She's an adult, too. That means you don't have to pussyfoot around anyone's feelings. If she treats you like crap, call her on it. When our skids are small, we rely on our spouses to be the buffer between us, them and their other parent. But when those skids become adults, it's open season, in my book. It's your home, you're the adult in it, you get to say who comes and goes and what the requirements are for any adult children staying there. If she can't toe the line, she's out on her rump. If your DH doesn't insist that she treat you with the respect due to you in your home, then I'd boot him out on his rump, as well.
♥ Georgia, the un-stepmom ♥
"Good men don't just happen. They have to be created by us women." (from ROSEANNE)