He's left-handed....get over it!
Several months ago, I noticed my SS(4 1/2)was using his left hand for eating, coloring etc. I pointed it out to my hubby that it seems like he's really comfortable using his left hand. Being left handed myself, I felt an extra little bond; something we can share and something I can help him with (lets face it, writing without smudging the ink takes practice). Neither of my daughters use their left hand and I never pushed it. Why should I? Obviously they're more comfortable with the right hand. Once the ex found out that I was left handed she began forcing SS to use his right hand. We didn't notice it too much until we had him trace letters (he doesn't attend pre-school nor has she really invested time teaching him anything). As we watched him with his right hand, we noticed it was sloppy and his hand was shaky and he couldn't keep it too steady. So hubby asked, "hey I thought you were a lefty?" and SS replied, "well everybody says I'm better with my other hand" so hubby in return answered "well who is everybody?".... SS became quiet and we already knew who the "everybody" was; his mom. So hubby called her the next day after we returned the skids and she became very defensive and was yelling, "MY children are free to be whoever they want to be and of course I'D never make them do anything like that... in fact, I think YOU GUYS are forcing him to be left handed". Uhh.. Yea lady! Out of the other 4 kids I'm choosing to pick on him and force my left-handed-ness on him. It's not a disease or anything; I'm sure your other kids won't catch it!
So a few days go by and SS (12) jumps in out of nowhere and says, "mom would never force him to be anything other than who he is and in fact it really seems like the two of you (hubby and I) are focing him to be something he wasn't created to be"... Are you kidding me? Yea, that wasn't rehearsed! As we were leaving church yesterday (which is also the kid dropoff point)SS(4) yells, "Bye lefty" and I yelled back, "bye bye my little lefty twin"... (of course just to let the ex fume....)
Wow, that is the weirdest thing
I think I've heard on this site. Trying to CHANGE his dominant hand because you're a lefty? What a nutcase! Does his first name have any of the same letters as your first name? If so, maybe you should suggest to her that she change his name to something else! }:)
BB
- You are not second best, you are not second class. Do not ever let anyone make you feel that way. (2Bloved)
I know
One reads the craziest behaviors here... let alone absolutely ridiculous...
Wierd yes, but not unexpected.
BM in our case is somewhat similar.
Both I and my youngest BD15 have longe(er) hair - past our shoulders. BM has short(er) hair, as in somewhere between the chin & shoulders. Apparently, according to DH, BM has never been able to grow it very long, as she doesn't know how to style it, and it would get all puffy and BoBo the Clown Like.
About a year and a half ago, SD7 saw my BD15's school pic at our house. It was actually a nice one (for a school pic), and commented on her long hair. SD said she wanted to grow hers out like my BD's. Somehow BM found out about it (probably on one of her psycho drive-bys, since as far as I know, she's never seen what my BD's even look like, let alone the length of their hair), and immediately took SD to the salon and had her hair cut - or should I say HACKED off. We're talking pixie cut, almost as short as DH's, looks like a boy cut. DH was so pissed when he saw it, he just couldn't believe it. If I showed you before and after pics, you'd cry...
I think these type of psycho BM's just can not handle the kids universes not revolving around them, and for the skid to admire something or anything to do with their 'step' family will send them into a tizzy.
That is just sad
...
Seriously?
WTF????
To force a kid to use the other hand because she doesn't want him to be left handed. And then to have the 12 y/o chime in with some bullshit comment like that. I would be livid if I was you & DH.
This chick is nuts! I hope you all have a counselor or something. Pre-school might be something good to consider so he can have a teacher help him with writing instead of his bullying mother. This almost borders on mild abuse in my opinion. Forcing a kid to do something that is un-natural to them.
Maybe play up how cool it is to be left handed. Our president is left handed, maybe he would think that is cool.
Poor kid.
I'm a lefty too!
And none of my kids are :(.
BM has done a lot of crazy things to mold SD into her image though, including bleaching her hair when she was little- I'm talking from the time she was around 4 or 5 til it was platinum at age 9. FINALLY SD's Catholic Principal said something about it, and it's not allowed in their dress code. BM was floored when DH told her to stop coloring SD's hair blond (DH's is salt and pepper and BM's is bleached blond.) SD's hair is nearly black naturally.
When BM took SD to get it colored back to SD's natural color, BM called DH and said, "Well, the stylist said that UNFORTUNATELY, as she gets older it will get darker." DH said, "Why is that unfortunate? It's her NATURAL hair color."
BM also made SD start shaving at TEN. And also made her start wearing make-up b/c SD wasn't pretty enough without it.
CRAZY!
Funny How it's OKAY for BM to "mold" them...
The BM doesn't take real good care of herself; she believes that "people should like me for who I am and my appearence should have nothing to do with it".... Uhh... What kind of world do we live in?? How you look says a lot about how you feel/how you are on the inside. If you look crazy on the outside, chances are you're pretty crazy on the inside... my opinion. So how is it better to force the kids to look/behave/feel the way you do? Doesn't that take away from who they want to be? SS(12) never wanted a haircut and had HORRIBLE hair and would argue with his dad every weekend about getting it cut. Finally he broke down and cried and said that his hair sucks and he hates it and wants to change it, but felt bad because his mom said that "you should wear your hair anyway you want and you don't need it cut b/c then you're just trying to be a follower and not a leader". He too looked like BoBo the clow and didn't want to upset mommy dearest.... now how screwed up is that?
In my opinion f they reflect BM
Then BM feels validated in her craziness.
See? I'm not crazy, my kids are just like me and they're FINE. Or as BM likes to say to DH, "Well my parents bribed me with a car to pick Catholic school, and I turned out ok!"
Ummm....yeah. DH could hardly contain himself.
BM is a germaphobe od's on purelle, yet is completely lax on food safety. Let's SD hoard food in her room, keep Frostys from Wendys to drink out of for weeks in her attic 90 degree plus room. SD thinks the fact we still make her wash her hands after digging through her shorts on the couch before we have dinner totally over controlling, BUT
BM once turned around after picking her up because she had a microscopic 1/100th of toenails and was wearing flip flops. Seriously, BM couldn't even ride in the car KNOWING SD had a hair's width of toenails and see them. And THAT's ok with SD. THAT's NORMAL. Toenails are nasty doncha know. Now raw cookie dough in the midst of cookie dough recalls? THAT's YUMMY and even Aunt from TX thinks so therefore I know nothing about food poisoning.
As far as style though, SD tells me all the time she likes the way I dress/do my hair and doesn't like BM's hair/clothes most of the time. I actually think that's true, though with SD you just never know if she's turning around telling BM the same thing about me. Triangulation is the key to BPD happiness.
She does brag about BM's lack of rules for her though. She's always telling her friends "Oh sure my mom will buy us dinner...buy you an outfit...take us to the amusement park. SHE'S COOL LIKE THAT." And the friends always sigh and say, "Your Mom's SO NICE. You are SO lucky!"
My absolute favorite, is when I try to tell SD she shouldn't abuse her mom's generosity by always begging her to buy more or for her friends, OR that I don't feel BM's always handing SD her credit card and letting her run in to the mall to use it/sign it is a good idea-
She sneers, looks at me like I'M the crazy one and states proudly, "My MOM doesn't CARE about stuff like that."
Hence I suppose why BM has had two court cases in the last 18 mos or so for defaulting on credit, and creditors calling my IL's looking for her. Wish they'd call here. I would GLADLY give them her cell and address.