Betty Broderick. I watched that last night while I was working out.

Sad story.

I've felt bad for TheFrizz MANY times. I think that's what keeps me from getting in her face and letting my mouth pop off when she's being crazy. Understanding her helps.

I still get to b*tch about her though. As long as it's not directly to her...her fragile little head can't handle hearing me let my thoughts out.

"Venting without the desire to look within and improve your situation is simply venting to hear yourself bitch."

It depends on the situation.

IF DH was a pos if you get me, yes...I've seen both though. My mom busted her ass and didn't do a thing to my dad and she was done like shi*. I've seen some BM's (I am already a bio-mom) live like queens though and no, they don't deserve it just because they spit out some children and are lazy.

That wasn't the woman who found out that her husband was a cheater and ran over him like 50 times in a circle, was it?

Nope...do not feel bad at all for BM.

The second mouse always gets the cheese..

Uh HELL NO.. don't feel sorry for BM at all!

"And this too shall pass..."

I feel sorry for women who are loving wives and are blindsided by a narcissistic prick who used her to become successful and then takes that success elsewhere. In my case, Wingnut would like to believe she is that woman. DH was working in the mailroom of his company during the early part of their marriage. He went to school and is now an owner in that company. The difference - she didn't support him. He worked 60 hours a week, went to school in the evening, company paid for school so it didn't come out of marital property, he played in a band on weekends for extra money. No matter how much money he brought home they were always broke because she wasted the money. He wasn't allowed to have an opinion when he was home and if he chose to have an opinion she threatened him with false allegations and tried to stab him so NO I don't feel sorry for Wingnut. There are times when I can understand that while she is crazy, she thought she'd be "taken care of" forever and now she is screwed and I understand that her parents raised her with NO coping skills and to take no responsibility for herself BUT THEN I remember that she was lucky to have a husband who put up with that shit for so long and she shouldn't have screwed it up. I can understand her predicament, but I can't allow it to be my problem. DH is a good, loving husband and he was to her as well. She screwed it up with her pisspoor attitude and controlling personality. He wanted to do marriage counseling - she told him there was nothing wrong with THEIR marriage, there was only something wrong with HIM and that HE better fix it or else. He chose OR ELSE.

"God is great, beer is good, and people are crazy" and you can't change crazy!!

Did you ever see that video clip of that woman in her Caddy who did that? I couldn't believe that she kept going over and over in a circle running him over.

Now, that's pissed.

( BTW: about the weekends with the ex, just go for it. Sounds like your mom can handle things too.)

I do feel sorry for SOME BMs. It would definitely suck to be left, especially for another woman. Obviously, it takes two people to make a marriage work, and two people to ruin a marriage. In very few cases is it "all" one person's fault.

I don't feel sorry for OUR BM, though. Here's the list (partial) of why:

1) She married DH in part for his money, and kicked him out when it was all gone.
2) She got pregnant on purpose in the first year or so, even though they had agreed to wait 5 years.
3) She adopted a kid from overseas, and when the kid had some issues (which was normal, considering all the bad stuff that happened to her as a baby), BM verbally, emotionally, and even physically abused her, and has been trying in one way or another to get rid of her ever since.
4) She kicked DH out IN FRONT OF the kids, and told him that if he wasn't out by the weekend, she would call the sheriff to drag him out. In front of the kids. And let me point out that I KNOW my husband. There is absolutely no reason at all why she would have had to be such a drama queen -- except to put on a show for the kids that would give them the impression that daddy was so bad that mommy had to threaten him to get him out. My husband is the gentlest, meekest, kindest guy I've ever known. There is no way in hell he was being difficult, confrontational, or anything like that. He's not capable of it.
5) She is absolutely incapable of treating either one of us with respect for more than 30 seconds at a time. She is incapable of apologizing, or compromising, or seeing anyone else's point of view but her own.
6) She has done quite a bit to keep DH under her thumb and to try to keep her place as reigning matriarch. And I'm sorry, but if you were the one that kicked out your H and refused all efforts to reconcile? You don't get to play the wounded martyr when he moves on and finds happiness.

I don't see anything in her conduct that would lead me to feel sorry for her. She has made the situation what it is by HER choices.

BB

You are not second best, you are not second class. Do not ever let anyone make you feel that way. - 2BLoved

Sometimes I do feel sorry for the BM in my situation, but then I wise up and think she did this to HERSELF. She saw dollar signs when she my DH. The minute she got pregnant she stopped working and doing any cleaning or housework. My DH would come home from work and CLEAN the house, while she slept all day. (It was not a difficult pregnancy - she was just milking it) My DH is the best dad to his kids. He goes above and beyond what's needed. She on the other hand does everything she can to downgrade him in front of SD and constantly telling him he needs to "step up and be a real dad!" She on the other hand cant keep a job, has been evicted three times, cant keep a boyfriend or friends, relies on the government, DH's family and friends to pay her bills. The woman is over 40 and is still barely getting by. She thinks its DH's responsibility to support her. She is a pathological liar and manipulator. I feel bad for SD because she is going to grow up and be just like her.

In my constant need to make efforts to understand why our situation is the way it is, there have certainly been times when I have understood our BM's pain, however the pain she feels is due to the choices SHE has made. Her mother was sorry...just like she is. She didn't have a decent mother to model herself after, but the fact still remains...she's a grown woman and makes her own choices. She knows right from wrong, and still chooses wrong. Sure, she had a difficult upbringing, but that's no excuse for her to make the same for her children. She is old enough to be held accountable for seeing to it that her children have a better childhood. All of her energy is placed in trying to make my DH unhappy rather than trying to do what she can to help her children feel happy. As miserable as it keeps her to do so, she seems to think it's worth the misery and suffering of her and her children to see to it that he is not happy.

She left a wonderful man and their children...several times. She left a situation where she didn't have to work outside the home. She left a beautiful home. Of course it's painful for her to realize what she walked away from. It'd hurt me too. SO, while there are times I can understand her feelings, I don't feel sorry for her having to deal with the consequences she's brought on herself.

There are times where I feel like my DH is overly stubborn with her, but in my constant efforts to understand why...I certainly see his reasons as well.

All-in-all, she has done more damage to her children than I every imagined a parent could, and that's a burden they will have to carry for the rest of their lives, because she'll never change. I can't feel sorry for any suffering that comes to her because of that.

I can definitely commisserate with her in certain instances regarding "the man" himself. I remember when he told me about her controlling everything and keeping a handle on the bank and such. I remember thinking, wow, I couldn't imagine being treated like a child like that and micro-managed.

Well, fast forward to our relationship. I can definitely understand WHY she did some of the things she did and HOW she became so controlling.

My husband is an incredible procrastinator and really cannot be counted on to accomplish even the most mundane tasks. He has absolutely no concept of the value of a dollar or how many dollars there are to spend.

I swear I think he has attention deficit. He claims its because he never went to kindergarten.. lol. The man has a master's degree.

We went through a period of me telling him that I didn't want our lives to end up like that and I certainly didn't need another kid to look after so unless he shaped up and became a man, we were done here.

He has since gotten on board and is learning the value of list writing.

So yes, in some instances I can feel for his x because for some reason he had no incentive to become a better man for her.

My life has to fit around her son's schedule. Every day. I have all the responsibility in order for her to have fun and enjoy her new life free of any inconveniences. I'm not really sure what aspect of her life I would ever feel sorry for her about. My existence has meant making her life easier, less stressful, and free to have a good time. If anything, she should feel bad for me. I'm sure she doesn't though.

"There comes a time when you have to surrender the idea of what your children could be to the reality of who they are."

I do feel bad for the wife that has created a life with husband, raised children , successfull and settled. And boom the husband has a mid life crisis or thinks with his dick, and along comes the young wife with the store bought rack.

I don't feel bad for my BM because DH gave her hundreds of chances on every level and she screwed him over every time - but has never had another relationship last. Oh well, don't screw people over, right??!!

But what I really wanted to say was, that Betty Broderick story many people saw, that yes she became obsessed but the real life DH was a powerful attorney and royally screwed her over re. legal action and got custody of her kids and wouldn't let her see them, and things like that. He was actually not innocent and more of an ass, but of course he didn't deserve to be murdered for it - but he did aggravate the situation. It's like the ultimate story of what not to do if you get a divorce.
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"The movies are the only business where you can go out front and applaud yourself." -
Will Rogers

Not one bit sorry for BM. She had it made, didnt have to work if she didnt want to, mention anything she wanted and she would have it, had a decent place to live, a few cars, a husband that would drop any and everything for her... and she cheated, lied and stole from him. He even stayed with her sorry ass after she got preg the 2nd time and he was not sure if the kid is his or not..she made her bed, now I hope she is enjoying it!!!!

*

THE ONLY thing I feel bad for her about, is how BLIND she is. I don't think it is her fault. I think it is something in her head that makes her see things this way. She was totally SHOCKED when DH left her. That is mostly HIS fault. He did mention the things in their relationship that bothered him, but mostly he would avoid it... then he up and left her one day.

Now, had VALID reasons to leave. Her drug use, her laziness... they fought all of the time. But they had been doing that for the 12 years they dated on and off, then he FINALLY marries her and 4 months later decides he can't deal with it anymore. They broke up and got back together SO many times when they were younger, I can understand why she thought for so long that she would get him back. SO for THAT... yes I understand and ALMOST feel bad.

But for the position that she is in now, out of money... about to be out of a home, men leaving her left and right... NO, she brings all of that on herself.

DISbelief~

~You have to BE crazy to UNDERSTAND crazy!~