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Should he call SD4?

bigblues1981's picture

Submitted by bigblues1981 on Wed, 04/14/2010 - 8:52am

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We get my SD4 EOW but in-between the visits my DH does not call her at all…..My MIL always gives him a hard time about it….so he started trying to call her….well every time he calls BM either says my SD4 is busy in the tub….asleep…or gone….and the last time he called BM said “here SD4 phone” and as soon as she got on the phone and DH said “HI it’s daddy” She started screaming and crying saying I don’t want to talk to him!! This made DH so mad that she didn’t want to talk to him…he thinks BM is putting stuff in SD4s head about him…(which she prob is because she is a crazy person) Anyway so he just stopped calling all together…Should he try again or just let it go….Do your DH’s talk to SKIDS between visits?

Anon2009's picture

Submitted by Anon2009 on Wed, 04/14/2010 - 9:28am

I think he should continue to call her, and document BM's behavior and the conversations that take place when he calls. He might want to ask his attorney if it's legal for him to record the conversations. That way, they can be played back in a courtroom. He might also want to get it in the parenting plan that he is allotted a certain amount of phone time in between visits.

Thetis's picture

Submitted by Thetis on Wed, 04/14/2010 - 9:42am

I understand why the other posters have their opinion. However if your dh has already been to court and things are not likely to change then maybe calling her while she is with her mom could be disruptive. My Sd is almost four and we get along with her mom pretty good, when everything is considered. However when we call she gets upset. She is reminded that she can't see her daddy. So Dh does not call very often. If we see her uptown we will talk to her and stuff but seperation can be really hard on kids and once they are into a routine they can become terrified that it will change.

Seeking's picture

Submitted by Seeking on Wed, 04/14/2010 - 3:16pm

I guess it's just different in every situtation. DH gets 4 phone calls per week (M-F only) with SD6 and SD2. Since we live several states away, this is our only communication with the kiddos between monthly visits. He actually had to fight for these phone calls in the divorce settlement and I'm glad he did. THe girls LIKE talking to him. SD2 doesn't say much that's intelligible besides, Hi Daddy! Bye! and I love you! but it's nice to hear her babble. SD6 talks about school and what they'll do on their next visit. Now when BM is in one of her moods (these last for weeks or months) the conversations are hard because it obviously affects SD6. Like after I married DH. Our biggest saving grace was to RECORD EVERYTHING. We even sent her an email synopsis every week to let her know we had everything on record and she should probably clean up her act. That was enough for DH to start getting better phone calls.