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Step Children moving out of town.........Thoughts and Suggestions!!

sable89's picture

We were just informed yesterday that BM is moving 200 miles away with SS13 and SD10.
Mind you, it was in an email that was addressed to BF AND both of their divorce lawyers. This is the first we have heard of them even thinking about moving. BM has met a man off of the internet and is now moving to be with him. The kids are excited, of course, to be going on a new adventure with new schools, friends, etc. We have no clue as to their schooling, where they will live or her plans as to drop off and pick up of the children on our weekends. I am planning on having BF email her and ask her these questions.
I would love to hear from anyone who has experienced this or may have some suggestions, please!!!

soverysad's picture

delete

folkmom's picture

IN most states she cannot do this without the husbands permission. Trust me, I live in a very BM friendly state and this would not fly at all here. He can object and get custody in a flash. He can also get an order preventing her from moving. IN fact, he should probably file a motion this week.

stormabruin's picture

If the move is being made simply to be closer to a man BM met online I would talk to your BF's lawyer. Uprooting children and moving them away from a parent is a big deal, and I think a judge would have something to say about it. If they do end up making the move, I would certainly be sure to have all of the "up-in-the-air" information settled before they go.

sable89's picture

He spoke with his lawyer yesterday and he acted like there was nothing we could do. I definilty want a second opinion on this!!

folkmom's picture

BS.

In my state, which is INSANELY pro BM, the standard is "best interest of the child" first...which is to be near both parents and where they grew up...and the moms interest only can outweigh that if she can demonstrate that the move is of such financial benefit to the kids that it has to happen...or that say they are moving to be closer to a family support system. I can tell you, almost every case here the dad challenges and wins...

So I am not sure why your lawyer said that unless you live in a crazy state. Tell me the state and I will look it up real quick.

HennyPen's picture

same here in Florida as Folkmom said. Take Folkmom's advice file a motion. As the court once told me...you can move, you just can't take the kid with you. Your BF has rights.
________________________________________________________________
... why would you feel worthless and weak? You gave everything, your entire heart.. giving it to him. To truly give your heart, your trust, is taking the bravest of all risks--C.Young

JustAnotherSM's picture

Check the CO. My DH's CO states that neither parent can remove the child from the county he was born in without prior written consent from the other parent and the court. Also, if BM moves away with the children, then she should be made responsible for the transportation for all visits with your BF. It sounds like it's time for your BF to sit down with his lawyer for a talk.

HennyPen's picture

I only know about FL, but in our CO nothing as mentioned about either parent moving, it just wasn't addressed. The court said it didn't matter if there was no restrictions you still had to get the courts permission to move them. So if it isn't specified in your BF CO, it doesn't mean he's without recourse! He still has rights by law. I would either talk with his lawyer again or find a new one that is willing to help!

________________________________________________________________
... why would you feel worthless and weak? You gave everything, your entire heart.. giving it to him. To truly give your heart, your trust, is taking the bravest of all risks--C.Young

SecondBest09's picture

I'm sorry. MS is one of the most screwed up states. EVERYTHING there has to go through a judge. My ExH just kept our daughter after his visitation and even with a court order showing I had custody, I was told that "sorry Miss....you have to go to a judge and have him found in contempt." Ugh!!! I think your husbands attorney is right...you can't really stop her in that state, however, he can file for an emergency hearing and ask for temporary custody, or ask for a temporary visitation modification that can set out the responsibilities of costs, etc. and how often he can get the children until things can get finalized in a new custoday and visitation order.

sable89's picture

What I have found so far is that she can move but we need to modify visitation to have more time with the kids during extended holidays and summer. I also see that she should incur most of the travel expense since she is making the move.

stormabruin's picture

"The Girhippo would NEVER move farther than 5 miles outside of her hometown "pod." Which is about as far as the umbilical cord to the Sasquatch stretches."

What a picture! LOL!

2inluv2run's picture

Im in Ohio, my DH has been fighting to keep his child here for 6 months. The pyschologist and the guardian ad litem both testified that it was not in the childs best interest to move over 600 miles away from his father HOWEVER the judge is allowing it anyways. The guardian and psychologist also testified that her motives for moving were "suspicious". WE are stuck in a PAS nightmare. The judge put a lot of weight on SS10 child's in camera testimony that he wanted to go and would not miss his father because he could still see him in the summer. The judge doesnt care that the child has been in private school his whole life and is now going to be thrown into public school. BM's reason for moving - she got a job there. The "job" is an independant contractor position selling cancer and disability insurance that could have been done from anywhere in the US but that didnt seem to matter either. We are already $30,000 into the fight now so we are planning on objecting her decision and appealing the case, but since Fathers have no rights I doubt we will get anywhere. Good Luck.