I don't love my FSD
I don't know why I am incapable of feeling love for my FSD or why I don't miss her one bit when she is with her BM. Maybe it is because I have felt so rejected by her over the years? She refuses to show me any kind of affection. I try to hug her and kiss her goodnight but she hides from me. It's not as if she doesn't know me or is shy around me. When she wants to play everything is hunky dory, but come bedtime she runs and hides from me. It hurts my feelings and I feel silly saying that because after all, I am the adult. But you would think after years of my caring for her and helping provide for her she would be a little more receptive. She treats me like a playmate and doesn't respect my authority one bit. She doesn't listen to anything I have to say. As far as she is concerned, her Father is the only one that makes the rules in our home. To even myself it seems heartless to say, but I do not love this child. 
I try to hug her and kiss her
I try to hug her and kiss her goodnight but she hides from me.
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Maybe she is not comfy with you doing that. I think you should just not try to hug and kiss her.
i don't love my skids either
i don't love my skids either and enjoy the shit out the times they are anywhere but here! }:)
maybe you should quit trying so hard and she will come to you...
good luck!
Where do you get the idea
Where do you get the idea that you are supposed to love her? Or kiss/hug her? I'm surprised you even attempt to hug/kiss her if you dont love her...isnt that somewhat unnatural? Maybe SD can feel that you are trying to force feelings that simply arent there? and maybe she doesnt love you either?
Is someone telling you that you SHOULD love her? Because you dont have to. In fact, it's quite natural to only be on friendly terms. Sure she should respect you as a rule-maker and enforcer in your home (DH should make this clear to her), and ultimately respect your authority as she would a teacher for example. But other than that, it's all gravy (ie, extra) and not 'expected' from either of you.
I'm sure it feels hurtful,
I'm sure it feels hurtful, but maybe that level of comfort is something to work up to.
You're doing a great job by trying so hard, but sometimes they just need to get to those points in their own time. Keep the door open, but pull back and let her come to you.
My skids were like that in
My skids were like that in the beginning too, what I did was have fiance go somewhere before bedtime a few times so i was the only one there putting them to bed, after 3 or 4 times of this it wasn't hard at all anymore. Of course we were already living together quite awhile with them full time custody before we tried this we didnt just spring it on them.
Might give it a try if both you and fiance are up for it.
I've come to realise that you
I've come to realise that you cant force kiddies. If they feel forced they will hide from it, she probably does love you but is unsure of how to show that to you, the fact that she likes playing with you is a sure sign of her affection for you.
When its bedtime, leave it to Daddy to put her to bed, just say goodnight to her and leave it at that. If you dont try, then you wont feel hurt by the rejection. But if she comes to you for a cuddle, the happiness you will feel is such a fantastic emotion and well worth waiting it out and keeping a little distance.