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Have a 19 yr old step son

Insane's picture

He has refuse to do school work, and will repeat. Has 3 month old baby and resist suggestions to seek employment. On this day he called his mom and caused an arguement because I asked him to sweep.she acts as if I did something wrong I am at the point of giving up he is a spoiled brat help

cyberwoman's picture

Welcome to the board Insane. Doesn't the DA get involved and force this piece of jewel to get off his ass, get a job and support his child? Your wife also needs a reality check. Did anyone support her while her son was 3 months old?

Insane's picture

The DA will only get involved when she applies for some type of services- WIC / Medicare etc. My wife has been made to feel guilty due to his biological father being absent and she tends to overcompensate. We have talked about life as a male being different from being a women. I've watched her go over board and then he turns on her and then she begins to enable him. Please understand I want him to be successful and I want my marriage however Its getting to the point of making a decision my sanity serenity peace of mind vs him

winehead's picture

This young man will continue to be a loser until he takes responsibility for himself. His mom is doing him no favors by allowing his current behavior. He needs a job and responsibilities, including finishing school, and an introduction to the real world of adulthood.

AVDetroit's picture

Same here. I have a 19 y/o SS that refuses to go to school, hold a regular job, etc. Life is too comfy to be bothered with doing anything other than coast along keeping himself relatively well entertained. For us its escalating to the point that its a threat to the safety of our home, personal safety and finances. It will come to a breaking point.

I am confused's picture

Doing something that someone CAN'T do on their own is called helping... doing someone that someone chooses not to do on their own is called ENABLING.

I'd kick the shitbag out.

Insane's picture

I did she let him ease way back in with all the same broken promises. So now when the chance to shame him about having to have mom drop him off, have to borrow money, even having a curfew etc all the things 19 year old should enjoy

cyberwoman's picture

Thank you for posting this I will use it with DH to demonstrate the difference between the two.