Stepsons' annual visit + 1 more...
My 3 stepsons (ages 11, 14, 18) are most likely coming for their annual visit in July for 1-2 weeks (we live about 12 driving hours apart). I work fulltime, as does my husband, and we have no children together.
My husband proposes that we leave the kids at home all week alone while we are working, as he recently started a new job and will be unable to take vacation time for 90 days. I am not exaggerating when I tell you I am scared to death of the idea of 3 boys staying home all alone while we are not there to somewhat supervise.
Of course, my husband gets angry when I bring up my reservations, which I suppose is understandable being that he only sees the kids a few times per year and will do whatever he has to do in order to see them. However, my line of thinking is - what is the point of them coming down here to visit if he's not going to be able to spend time with them as he has been able to do in years past? The alternative is for him to fly up over the July 4th holiday and spend time with them there at his parents' house.
Am I the only one who thinks leaving 3 out-of-towner boys home alone for 10-12 hours every day for a week is a bad idea? I keep having crazy thoughts of the kids causing accidental fires and my dogs being let out on the loose due to their carelessness... OH yeah - the 18 year old wants to bring his GIRLFRIEND with him!
Help??!! Suggestions?? Anyone??
I agree, he should visit them
I agree, he should visit them more often - if anything, for a weekend here and there... watch a football or soccer game of theirs. But that is completely different argument of ours and I gave up trying to win that one a long time ago!
The 18 year old does drive, but he will not have a vehicle while he's here. There is nowhere for them to go within walking distance, other than the HOA/neighborhood pool across the street, which I suppose is better than nothing. The crazy thing is - they are DYING to come down (oh, and the 11 and 14 yr olds are usually up at the crack of dawn playing video games, and those 2 are the ones I worry most about). As a matter of fact, the 14 year old wants to move in with his dad, but the mother says no and wants to fight it out (even though the kids are legally able to choose at the age of 12 in our state)-- again, a completely different issue I might need to post somewhere on this forum for advice too!. I might be able to take off early or go in late a couple of days, or else I might be able to come home and check on the kids at lunch, but unfortunately takes me a minimum of 40 minutes to get there ONE way. SO, I might be taking some long lunches that week...
You know, I guess I'm just mad at my husband for not working this out with his new employer and making this my problem to worry over.
Anyway, thanks for your response -- I think they should come down too, however, it's just really bad timing and I suppose will just have to be super-stressed for a few days...
maybe dad can set them down
maybe dad can set them down with rules the day they set foot in the house: do not call anyone, do not leave the house, do not invite anyone into the house, etc. let them know in no uncertain terms that if they disobey whatever rules you set that THEY WILL GO HOME. I'd make sure dad calls them every day from work at a different time to see what they're up to.
i would be wiggin' out,
i would be wiggin' out, too!
hope it all works out for the best!
Well, hopefully setting the
Well, hopefully setting the ground rules will work- that's about the only option we have at this point - but I have a sinking suspicion they are going to try and get away with anything and everything! I will try to think positive... nope, it's not working just yet...
It's good to know I'm not completely crazy and that someone else would be "wiggin' out" too (starfish).
LOL - I hadn't even really
LOL - I hadn't even really thought of the hanky panky! Thanks a lot!
Not sure who can come check on them since we live kind of far from all our friends and my family, so it would be a real burden to ask anyone to do that. I'll have to look into it though!
I think it is important to
I think it is important to let them visit. But, leaving three teens in my house alone that I don't know that well. Hell no. You need to figure out a way for them not to be alone so much. As for the girlfriend. Where are her parents in this??? Not appropriate at all if there are other kids in the house. You know they are sleeping together. Where would she sleep. Not in my house.
I know! Where are her
I know! Where are her parents??? They are both 18, so I understand they are adults and can and will do what they want, but I agree -- NOT IN MY HOUSE, not in this situation for sure! I'm putting my foot down on this one - she's not coming to visit... there is no reason for her to - it's not like they are even engaged or anything!! My stepson just graduated high school!
I agree with the mom that
I agree with the mom that said they'll sleep half the day anyway. My SSs don't get up till almost 2 each day because they are playing video games so late into the night. And we have family rules that they can't make loud noise; the kitchen is closed after 11 pm, etc. My skids live with me full time...
Yes, I can see that this would be an imposition. I tell my husband all the time i couldn't do it if the skids just came an went every few weeks. My OCD could not handle that- Lol!
They need to come. No girlfriend- that's asking for trouble, BUT maybe let the boys bring a male friend? Does your husband have any nephews that could hang out with the boys while at work? Could you arrange to be home in the afternoons? I hope your husband could at least take one full day off to be with them...
have them bring their gaming systems. Set up some extra TVS. Take them to the video rental place and rent buckets of movies and games!
Have fun with it. Their ages are much more independent than you would think. Have lots of frozen pizzas on hand.
I'm actually fine with them
I'm actually fine with them playing video games all night, running around shooting each other with nerf guns all day, and eating ice cream all night, but I do NOT trust them to operate the stove or oven while we are not there. They are boys, and they are not familiar with how our stuff works and I just know they would leave something on and leave the house to go swimming and burn the place down. I know it sounds crazy, but I just know it!! Maybe I'll enforce a microwave only rule while we're not there? Am I officially insane...? Unfortunately we have no nieces/nephews/etc to come hang out with them either. And as for rules - they always act out and do whatever they feel like doing when they visit dad. My husband has a problem telling them no since he doesn't see them very often, which I kind of understand, but there have to be SOME rules, right? Ho hum... the dread is creeping in and settling!!
Thanks for all your suggestions everyone!!!