Adult stepdaughters.

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My husband's two thirty-something daughters, who were never in contact with me before our marriage last year, have never acknowledged me. No cards, phone calls, nothing, even though I'm now married to their father. Daddy dotes on these two adults, even though they're both married w/their own kids. He refuses to discuss the issue and I'm getting really upset about it. My two adults children have both acknowledged him, the one who lives here arranged a lovely dinner for us when we got married, with champagne, etc. His kids - nothing. In addition, he talks away about them as though I have got a relationship with them! I feel he's part of the problem here!

I really need support around this, thanks so much.

I forgot to mention, I've had

I forgot to mention, I've had both these women to my house in the past, one time each, at his request, before they were married. I gave one of them a baby gift about 2 yrs ago in an attempt to be friendly, never even got a thank you. Last time I will do that. Very discouraging.

Thank you so much for getting

Thank you so much for getting back to me. Several friends have also told me to be glad these two aren't around me. I have thought about changing the subject when he starts going on about how wonderful, educated, etc. they are...I frankly don't care. I will do this regularly from now on. I'm so glad to have found this website, so many of us have this issue.

It's really sad how many men allow this rude behavior from their adult kids - thank you for sharing your story. Best,

I will definitely not be

I will definitely not be giving more gifts! I totally understand what you're saying, thanks so much for the support. Before I found this website, I thought I was the only one, aside from a close friend, who had these step issues! This stuff really can be crazy-making.

Thanks, this is wise advice.

I agree with everything Maux

I agree with everything Maux says. Out of curiosity...when you say your H dotes on them, how do you mean that? Does he give them handouts, gifts or is it that he is spending a lot time with them?
Also, is your son living with you or does he live close by? I couldn't tell by the way it was worded.
Thanks.

My H thinks they are perfect

My H thinks they are perfect and whether out of guilt that he and their BM divorced, I don't know. He doesn't give them money as far as I know but is at their beck and call regarding babysitting their kids, meeting them for meals, etc. I have never been included in anything connected with them. I think he spends more time with them than I know, we're both so busy and I don't know whether he sees them more than he lets on.

My son lives in another state, so is not nearby but both my adult children are supportive.

Many thanks!

You are not alone! My DH s

You are not alone! My DH s are 40 and 42 with their own lives 3000 miles away and my dh has allowed them to continue the selfindulgent attitude that only they matter.
After 12 years of this behavior I let it go and it was and still can be difficult but gets easier and feels great! Let it go life is too short for this type of grief.

Terrible month- Need to Vent

Terrible month- Need to Vent and fill in on situations.I am so relieved to be able to vent and learn on this site! First of all, SD and SDIL(who, BTW is so lazy and one of the worst mothers I have ever seen and she brags about it herself!) really turning on the emotional blackmail on our bioson. Our 19 yo DS moved back home after falling in love with someone who took him for an emotional ride from hell! He is a pretty sweet kid, but not perfect by any means. He just wants to hang out,party and not be responsible. He is coming around after me being on his butt and cutting off financial help. ( H refused to let him learn life lessons for years so I had to do the parenting again for the 4th teenager, our son.(Watching hair turning gray and wrinkles appearing! :O )He finally got a job today-YEA!!!Has been looking for a job for over a year. Not trying too hard either! The problem is his halfS and SIL (they are 28 and 30 yo)have been inviting him over "to hang out" and spend the night?! all the time when in reality, they want a free babysitter. (He is very good with kids but doesn't want to entertain them all the time.)They are also trying to their best to turn him against me. SD will ask me to sit or I will call and ask to see them and she keeps coming up with excuses but then rants about how I won't babysit when she calls last minute and I have Dr appt or haven't slept. All 5 Sgkids love me and have always been treated like Gkids and call me grandma. Youngest SGD was born in Jan and I kept the 4 yo SGS for two days, brought him to hospital to visit, made them food to take home, cleaned her hospital room, etc. Have always done the mom/grandma things,health permitting, and sometimes barely able to walk. I have had chronic pain and health issues for 10 years that make it very difficult to do the everyday things. I still managed to take care of almost everything until two years ago when meds quit working and constant pain and insomnia turned me into a zombie. My body cannot handle the stress anymore after 22 yrs. I don't like the person I have become! I admit I can be a b#@ch as well as anyone!http://www.steptalk.org/images/smileys/evil.png Anyway, there has only been a couple of times that SD has offered to help with chores I am unable to do.And she she is supposed to be the perfect daughter?! WTF!? There was no audience to see her perform her saintliness!(She lived out of state for two years but stayed with us at least 6 times- sometimes a month at a time, one time her and H for 3 months just after I had surgery.)Guess who was babysitting while she ran around? She knows that I am very good with infants and toddlers. She would not leave her kids with her own father. She also told me that she wanted me to take care of her kids if anything happened to her and H.Both BMs and GMs were alive when this was said. I think I mentioned in another post that their BM is a meth addict and was in their lives sporadically. BM had nowhere to go so SS let her move in while she was on meth around their 7 yo and ADHD 4yo kids. This was when the not returning phone calls, lying, banning us from their homes and shunning got really bad. We didn't know she was living there for two months! After 27 yrs, BM has to be a grandma. DH and I were literally pushed out if their lives and we don't know this baby and she doesn't know us. Unfortunately, BM passed away in May from the drug abuse. Now, I admit I was hurt and angry about the situation but did everything to support my Skids. Made food, helped clean SDIL house for wake, babysat,was there for whatever. I felt very uncomfortable and hurt attending the funeral as they literally venerated her as a saint.Once again, stepped in and got stepped on! I held it together knowing no matter what the circumstances are, it is difficult to deal with a loss and was there to support them. I cannot be around them anymore for the sake of my health! After all the rambling, here is the question-how to disengage from steps and their families for my own sanity while still not talking bad about them to bioson? Hope this makes some kind of sense!

I often read your blog and

I often read your blog and always find it very interesting. Thought it was about time i let you know…Keep up the great work

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