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Hope Floats

forever2's picture

Submitted by forever2 on Wed, 07/28/2010 - 2:15pm

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Every time I can't do something with BF because he has SS, or every time I eat alone because SS "needs" something during dinner, or everytime my plans are cancelled because SS wants to do something else, or everytime I can't even sit with BF because SS11 is sitting on his lap...I am reminded of the movie Hope Floats. Remember that one with Sandra Bullock many years ago? Her husband leaves her for her best friend and Sandra's character and daughter move to the boonies with her mother to start over?? The husband comes to visit one day and the daughter runs out with her suitcase thinking daddy is going to take her home. But, daddy is with his new girlfriend (Sandra's former "friend") and has married her by this point I think. Anyway, daddy explains to the kid that daddy has a new girlfriend now, and daddy can't very well start a new family with you around can he? Then he drives off with little girl running behind the car with her suitcase sobbing "wait for me daddy." Of course we the audience are suposed to sob too and hate him for being an ass. These days I just think....where is that man, and why can't I marry him??

poisonivy's picture

Submitted by poisonivy on Wed, 07/28/2010 - 2:23pm

I haven't thought about that movie in years!

I remember that scene...it was a bit heart-wrenching, wasn't it????

"I just think....where is that man, and why can't I marry him??"
LOL!

butterfly2010's picture

Submitted by butterfly2010 on Wed, 07/28/2010 - 2:23pm

lol, sometimes i feel that way too. and whats funny is that we fall for the man who has an elevated interest in his child(ren), come to find out that "that" interest is bait to reel us in. once we realize that, we wish he was like that daddy on hope floats.

forever2's picture

Submitted by forever2 on Wed, 07/28/2010 - 2:34pm

True BlendedFam. It would certainly depend if you had biokids of your own. If so, for their sake you would want a man with the intention of sticking around. On the other hand, with no bio kids, his "devotion" to his kids is nothing but a pain in the butt. How's this for over-the-top...my BF doesn't even want to have kids with me because he is afraid it might upset SS11s stability and sense of importance. OMG, anything else I should give up for his kid?

stormabruin's picture

Submitted by stormabruin on Wed, 07/28/2010 - 2:42pm

I LOVE this movie! Of course, I'm a fan of both Sandra Bullock & Harry Connick Jr. Smile
In the first litter of English Bulldog puppies we had, there was one big fat one that always picked on the others. We named her Big Delores, after the bully girl in that movie. LOL!

forever2's picture

Submitted by forever2 on Wed, 07/28/2010 - 2:47pm

You know how glass is really a liquid and if we could live forever, we would eventually see it move and reshape? That is how my BF changes, nearly imperceptible baby steps. Is the progress enough? Why am I sticking around? I am trying to figure that out. The answers to those questions are my baby steps.

stormabruin's picture

Submitted by stormabruin on Wed, 07/28/2010 - 2:56pm

I absolutely agree. I believe the way someone treats their family speaks volumes about a person. Granted, children shouldn't be given everything they want, but the moment I realized I was truly in love with my DH was a moment when I saw the love he felt for them in his eyes.

stormabruin's picture

Submitted by stormabruin on Wed, 07/28/2010 - 3:05pm

I understand completely. DH's kids have nothing to do with him, but I would be concerned if that changed him. Their actions don't have to change who he is. He doesn't beg for their attention or love, but he will always love them & he will always want to be in their lives. I have a lot of respect for him just because of that.

stormabruin's picture

Submitted by stormabruin on Wed, 07/28/2010 - 3:09pm

LOL! Blum 3

stormabruin's picture

Submitted by stormabruin on Thu, 07/29/2010 - 11:25am

" Faith makes things possible...not easy. "
--------------------------------------------

How true that is! A saying I have to refer to often is "I never said it would be easy. I only said it would be worth it". It has helped me get my mind back in focus when I thought I'd lose it altogether.

butterfly2010's picture

Submitted by butterfly2010 on Wed, 07/28/2010 - 3:07pm

when my sister in law first met my brother, he was fighting for custody of my neice. thats how she fell in love with him, because she felt that if he loved his child that much, then he would never abandon her or any children they may have together. she felt he was a very responsible family man.

i love my brother, but he is an asshole. and not much of a father either. my neice is out of control. read my post (when stepdaughters attack).

so, how a man treats his family may not be an indication he is a great person. it may mean he is playing a part to impress a lady, reel her in, and then bring out the true colors.

bribaby1105's picture

Submitted by bribaby1105 on Wed, 07/28/2010 - 3:25pm

I am sorry to say that I do not agree with this at all. I am a stepmother and have been for 7 long and chaotic years. Trust me, there are plenty of times where I have wished I didn't have my SD around causing all of the problems and chaos, however, I would NEVER want a man who would choose his new girlfriend over his children. It is NOT the child's fault that their parents could not work out their differences, and mostly these children act the way they do because they are allowed by one or both parents. I am at the point where there are times that I can't even stand the presence of her but I would never want a child to feel that their parent doesn't love them. The problems in most blended families doesn't only stem from the children, it's how the parents react and handle the behavior.

Jsmom's picture

Submitted by Jsmom on Wed, 07/28/2010 - 3:34pm

That scene is heartwrenching. He was an ass. Kids have no choice in the situation, parents do. I love my husband more because he tries to be such a good Dad. But, sometimes, I wish I didn't have to deal with the kids. I didn't give birth to them, so I don't feel the attachment when they are being such a pain. No matter what, I don't think I could be with someone who walks away completely. Unless, in our situation the SD14 pushed him away.

milknosugar's picture

Submitted by milknosugar on Wed, 07/28/2010 - 4:04pm

My Dh is a wonderful Dad. Lately tho, he has wondered if it is all worth it. He used to wonder how anyone could ever think like that but he told me that now he sees. If one of the partners makes life completely impossible for the other and uses the children to hurt the other, you can't help starting to wonder if it might be best (even for the children) to move on.

I can't imagine that he will but...something to think about. It's not always black and white.

Doesn't sound like the guy in the movie tho

Tx mommy of 3's picture

Submitted by Tx mommy of 3 on Thu, 07/29/2010 - 12:55am

Funny! I get it. I don't think you seriously want him to do that, but I get it. Sometimes you're like AAAAGH!!!! and for that moment you wish/hope/dream that you can have him all to yourself. Since you aren't married to him though, use this dating period to see if this is the life you REALLY want. You will only get bf to yourself on weekends he doesn't have his son & that won't change til he's 18. Are you ready for step parenting issues? Just something to think about before you jump in. Of it really bothers you then being with him might not be the best choice for you.

steptwins's picture

Submitted by steptwins on Thu, 07/29/2010 - 9:02am

My ExH moved out of state too. Within 4 mos. of divorce moved to Dallas, then 2 years later to Chicago, then 3 years later Orlando. It really hurt(s) my DD & I took a huge hit mentally the day he & financee moved to Dallas knowing my EOW was gone, plus he moved on to start a new family. NOT! She couldn't concieve so they bought Russian babies ($50,000) to get r done. And that again was a hit way below the belt for me & DD. And now I get the reverse to deal w/my DH & his skids.