Adult Skid jealousy!
My skids are jealous of biokids birthday and christmas presents even though they are now middle aged. 
There is about 18 years between the skids and the oldest biokid. Biokids are mine and H's. I know it is hard to believe that adult skids 34 and 35 years old expect a "Santa level" Christmas at their age and the same anmount and type of gifts as our 12 year old but they do!!!! SS 35 actually told H 2 years ago that they were mad at me because I treated them differant than bios because I bought more at Christmas for bios who were at that time 10 and 14! SS 35 whined to H that I had bought bio an ipod and I should not have done so without getting him and his grown sister- SD 34 one to!
Of course SS 35 does not take into consideration that adult skids also have a mother to give them gifts. Whether I make more money than their mother or not I do not owe spoiled, ugly acting,and morally challenged adults Skids anything. If they can not treat me decently I refuse to buy them anything! As a matter of fact, I quit buying presents for them years ago after putting up with years of ugly snide remarks about the gifts that I had shopped for, purchased, and wrapped for them! H was then responsible and he started givng money until he finally quit this year after more of their ungratful temper tantrums! I can't imagine anyone being angry and having an adult entitled temper tantrum over being given a $ 100 gift in cash but both of them did!
Both H and I were raised to believe that when you are grown and on your own that you no longer recieve tons of gifts like you did when you were growing up. As an adult I recieved gifts costing around $50.00 from my parents. As they got older I recieved cash. H's parents did the same with their children - one gift typicaly around $50.00 or less - sometimes the same in cash. I fail to understand why skids would feel that they are entitled to more than this just because we have minor biokids. Why do they feel they deserve more as an adult than any other adult in either of our families receive. If H and I recieve one gift from our parents why wouldn't they understand that this is simply a fact of growing up.
Adult SS 35 also complained in his rant that when he and sd were little that they did not get an ipod! H laughed and told him that they did not even make ipods back then. I quess they expect our bios to not have anything that we did not purchase for them regardless of the fact that these items did not exist 18 years ago!!! OMG there is a minimum of 18 years between these two sets of "children"!!!!! Times have changed, we no longer have to send CS, etc. and my income is much higher now than when they were little. Sorry, but I feel no guilt over having worked for years to get where I am and for waiting to have bios when I could afford them.
I also would love for adult skids to know that bios do not cost us anywhere near what H paid for years in CS to ODUH BM - especailly when you consider what the amount paid 28 years ago represents in today's dollars. It is not our fault that ODUH BM did not spend the money H sent on skids!
Plus our gifting philosphy has already been explained to our bios. Our biokids have already been told that as adults the "Santa level" gift giving will end.
However, if I can afford to and do later decide to give bios more in gifts as adults (when grown) than H gives to his adult children that I feel is my right. I would, however, never give bios the same level of gifts as adults that we now give them because for one I will no longer have to supply their wardrobe and all necessities etc. Much of what bios get at Chrismas and Easter are things that they need and that I would buy them anyway. I would feel absolutely no guilt spending more on bios when they are adults since I have no relationship with adult skids due to their nastiness towards me, bios, and H. Let them go whine to ODUH mommy BM some more because their whining will fall on deaf ears here!
Just wondering if anyone else happens to have adult skids jealous over what you buy other family members or even yourself?
Just ask these middle aged
Just ask these middle aged children this. Did you give me the same value gift that you gave to your mother? Did you even so much as phone, send an email or card or anything to me on my birthday, at Christmas time or any other time? You expect me to treat you the same as I treat my children. Do you treat me with the same respect that you treat your mother? I think not.
Funny how stepmothers are expected to love their stepchildren as much as their own children, and yet if you were to ask anyone, including the middle aged children, if they love you as much as they love their mother they would look at you like you had lost your mind and likely pop you in the nose to boot. Why does that only work one way? Love has to go both ways or it dies.
Truth is if these adult stepchildren were even quarter way decent to you they could have a great relationship with you.
You treat me like crap, I will have nothing to do with you. It is "inhuman to bless while you are being cursed," it is also inhuman to not defend yourself from personal attacks. You brought it on yourself kids. And as another poster said, if the stepfamily isn't working it is EVERYONE's fault, not just stepmom's.
I can't believe I missed
I can't believe I missed this... A huge DUH on my part!!! Thank you. Yes, next time (most assuredly there will be a next time) the SKIDS say you don't treat me like your BIOS, I will say, you are right, and you do not treat me like your mother.
LOL, I can't wait.
Oddly enough, I am in the
Oddly enough, I am in the opposite situation. I have a 25 year old daughter, a 13 year old son and soon to be skids that are 13, 11 and 9. My daughter came to me this past Christmas and told me to put my money and my concern towards providing Christmas for her younger brother and soon to be step-siblings. I guess it's all in how they are raised.
It's your hard earned money
It's your hard earned money and your appreciative kid, I would tell them to grow the f up. You don't tell BM how to spend her money on them, they have no business how to tell you how to spend your money. Oh, it's not fair? Awww, life isn't fair you little creeps, cry me a river, build me a bridge and get the hell over it!
I went through years of
I went through years of trying to be "fair" concerning gifts for Christmas. It was never enough, the right thing and the list goes on and on and it was always my fault. The kids consisteded of my stepkids which one was a drug addict and the other was an unwed welfare unemployed mom of 3 illegitimate children by 3 different men all under the age of 4. My bo children consisted of college graduates one being a nurse and the other an engineer. I always made sure the same amount of money was spent on all kids. Steps complained whinned and compared and my bos said thank you.
SOOOO, one christmas I decided I didn't have to be fair anymore! I DIDN'T HAVE TO BE FAIR! And I wasn't shy about voicing my reasons for different gifts and treatment. THERE ARE MORE DESERVING CHILDREN IN THIS FAMILY AND THEY WILL GET MORE BECAUSE OF THEIR BEHAVIOR. Yes, the employed polite nurse daughter DOES deserve more than the sarcastic unemployed welfare mom.
So, in this family, you receive things depending on you treat me and their father and how they conduct their lives.
God...I felt so muc better when I realized I didn't have to be FAIR------SOME KIDS DO DESERVE MORE THAN OTHER KIDS IN THE FAMILLY!!! I love typing that....it was like i woke up that day!
I had two half-brothers my
I had two half-brothers my father raised during the depression and my brother and I about 20 years later.
My ADULT half-brothers didn't have anywhere near the financial resources directed towards them as I did and although this had been the subject of conversations it was always how well Dad did back then considering the situation.
Tell your husband that he should remind his children? that we're living in a different world and they are supposed to be adults.
Meanwhile you just ignore them.
I don't recall which Stalker
I don't recall which Stalker originally said this but ... "supporting you is not a gift. Raising you to be independent and to be able to support yourself is a gift, and that has always been my goal" is how I would respond to the adult Skid tantrum crap.
I would follow this with "nothing is too good for you (my son) and ..... NOTHING IS EXACTLY WHAT YOU ARE GOING TO GET!" this is one of the lines my dad has used on my bro and I and our kids since I was a child. He butters you up with the first half while tenderly putting an arm around you them BAM! you get the second half.
Of course they always manage an incredible Christmas or birthday for everyone. My brother and I get on mom and dad for over doing it every year but they have fun with it and keep doing it.
The only time I can recall while growing up that either my brother or I had an issue with a perceived disparity in gifts from mom and dad was when they gave my younger bro a car for his 16th b-day. I did not get a car until HS graduation when I was 19. My parents responded to my frustration with "when you were 16 you were in boarding school, did not have a license and did not need a car. Your brother is not in boarding school, has his licence and has to get to school, practices, spend time with his friends, etc.... Do YOU want to schlep him around when he needs to get somewhere?"
For some reason I was instantly okay with him getting a car at 16. :?
We actually used to get frustrated with our parents because for years they insisted on giving the same number of packages and often the same items to both of us. We told then over and over that we appreciated their gifts but that it was not neccessary for everything to be equal all of the time. We are not the same age and our needs, wants and interests were different.
Good luck